this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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A 6-month-old boy died after being left for hours in a hot car in Louisiana, authorities said.

The baby was found dead in the backseat by his parent at about 5:46 p.m. Tuesday, according to the East Baton Rouge Sheriff’s Office.

When the parent went to pick up the baby from day care after work, they realized they forgot to drop him off at day care that morning, the sheriff's office said.

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[–] [email protected] 180 points 1 month ago (8 children)

Every time this happens, I am reminded of this Pulitzer prize-winning article.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

It can happen to anyone, but a large majority will never believe that. It's a heart-rending situation.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Piggybacking your comment to say that this kinda shit would happen a lot less if we had mandatory maternity/paternity leave.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Or if we hadn't built our entire society around personal automobiles.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

One of these things can be changed. The other cannot.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

In this case, I look forward to our bicycle powered future

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago

I was going to be dropping my son off at daycare before work (something I usually didn't do), and my normal routine was to stop at Wawa for breakfast. I stopped, got out, grabbed my breakfast, got back in, and only then remembered that he was in the back. He had been VERY uncharacteristically quiet prior, and I was tired, and I just... forgot he was in the back.

It caused absolutely no harm (I was only in the Wawa for 5-10 min), but it was a very sobering moment. I can definitely understand how it happens.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

To a much less serious degree it happened to me/my daughter. Brought her in one winter in her car seat and set her down next to my bed with her coat still on. Instantly fell asleep on the bed for at least an hour. When I came to she was drenched in sweat. Obviously panicked and got her out but she seemed unfazed, stretched a little, and went back to sleep. Still feel bad years later.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Thank you for the read. It's an imperfect world and these people have to live with their guilt for the rest of their lives.

[–] [email protected] 87 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Ah that article, that scared me shitless when I first read it while my wife was pregnant. A single "oops" that really doesn't just fuck a person up, it ruins their entire life.

“Death by hyperthermia” is the official designation. When it happens to young children, the facts are often the same: An otherwise loving and attentive parent one day gets busy, or distracted, or upset, or confused by a change in his or her daily routine, and just... forgets a child is in the car. It happens that way somewhere in the United States 15 to 25 times a year, parceled out through the spring, summer and early fall. The season is almost upon us.

If you ever accidentally left food in the microwave for a few hours, this could be you with children.


Anyways here's the archive org link since the primary link is paywalled.

https://web.archive.org/web/20240617002402/https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

If you ever accidentally left food in the microwave

I've lost count of how many times. Now we have a microwave with a reminder beep that keeps going off every minute or so until you open the door. Best feature ever.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

One of the many reasons I will not be having children. I forget my tea steeping like 80% of the time. I don't need a life in my hands

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I hear you, but as a fellow scatterbrain, the solution is that your shoe goes next to the car seat before you load it. Or something else, but a shoe is pretty hard to forget.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We just have a mirror on the rear headrest. That way anytime I look in the rear view mirror I see her.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Aren't mirrors not recommended because of the potential hazard of them shattering and piercing baby in a car accident? It's why I don't have one; I wonder if that's why these other parents didn't, either

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

It doesn't have to be a glass mirror. Any reflective material is fine and that can be done on fairly soft material. But yes, the hazard is a harder mirror becoming an additional projectile in a car crash a whacking the baby in the face.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"I'm sorry, officer, you see, this person on the Internet told me to put something important with the baby so I wouldn't forget it, so I gave it my car keys, and now they're both locked in the car!"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Just have the baby drive to a mechanic!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Thinks back to the time I made a giant russet baked potato and forgot about it until the same time the next day when I reheated something from the fridge and wondered why it was still cold after several minutes on high… only to find the dried remains of a flayed potato hiding underneath a paper towel. I set the second plate on top of it without even realizing it was still in there.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I once left a tomahawk steak in my backpack for 3 days. I even took it to the coffee shop with my laptop and never noticed it.

R.I.P., it was on sale and I had no plan when I bought it. I bet it would have been good.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

My microwave is on top of my freezer, and I have mixed them up before

[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Having gone through what is essentially sleep deprivation torture when raising twins, I believe this and the guilt would be unimaginable.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Sleep deprivation is no joke and doesn't take many nights at all. A while back, the worst upstairs neighbors on the planet woke me every night, multiple times a night. My cognitive function definitely suffered.

I hope those neighbors are miserable wherever they ended up. They deserve it. I asked them multiple times with decreasing politeness to not slam doors or fling objects around at 3 AM.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

You would not believe the downvotes I've gotten for saying this exact thing. I'm not a parent, but I do take the time to really consider what having to care for an infant would be like. I have been sleep deprived (edit: though, nowhere near the level of a new parent) so I perfectly understand how you could unintentionally cause the death of your kid. I think the hypothetical I gave was something like

You're out running errands with the baby on your day off while the spouse is at work. You got maybe 4 hours of sleep between getting up to feed and change, and you're lifting and carrying and running around all day. You stop home to drop off some shopping, you even leave the car running because you'll be right out. Quick plop on the couch just to rest your legs and back, and then suddenly it's five hours later and you start awake remembering you left the car running... and the baby in the car.

I know the terror I feel from that little hypothetical, I can't believe it doesn't hit close to home with actual parents too. And then, to be held socially - even if not legally - liable on top of your own guilt... an awful, horrible, soul-chilling situation to contemplate. I wish there were more compassion for new parents, I'd bet it's more common than we think that parents' bodies just shut down from the strain.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

A lot of people just don't seem to experience empathy as deeply as some of us.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

I would believe it. People here are absolute fucking idiots about situations they think they would be perfect in, and never understand how mistakes/sleep deprivation/routine disruption happen.

It's like the adage about security: blue has to get it right every single day, red has to get it right once.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I thought I understood the sleep deprivation until I became a dad. The part most people don't account for is the chronic nature of it. It's not 1 night, or even a few, it's weeks and months of it. It's also combined with having your hormones thrown for a loop (yes, men too!). It jams your brain in ways you would never expect.

It's so easy to screw up that badly that I'm amazed at how infrequent it actually is.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I am actually in my big sleep deprivation peak with the second one, and I thought I knew better after the first one, but there is just no breaks.

6:30 am to 8:00 pm every single day of the week, and then trying to catch up the house chores and anything we've missed during the weekend.

Then, people have the gall to tell me I should be all fresh when I have one morning in months where I don't have to wake up at 6:30. Motherfucker, I haven't really slept a full night in months, it's not one night that will fix it all.

Modern society isn't compatible with parenthood.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

We are supposed to be in walkable cities and not forced to labor away for an entire 1/3 of most days just so someone else can buy a yacht.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

A friend was taking a walk with her daughter, she called her from the other side of the street. She didn't see the car coming though. The daughter ran over the street and was killed by the car.

She couldn't see the car, because the parked cars were bigger and blocked the view.

An unfortunate accident, but she never got over it. It's been 30 years, but she's as devastated as before.

The daughter only crossed the street, because the she called her. This broke her.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

From the bottom of my soul, FUCK big cars. Our cars are so much bigger than they need to be, and they legitimately ruin lives with their size and blindspots.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"I don't want to risk anything in my large truck. I want everyone else take the risk for me."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

This is like a dark intro into game theory.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago

Yep, done reading this thread.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

That's horrible. Can't even imagine.