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...when i was growing up, my well-meaning parents pulled me aside to express their concern over a jewish friend dating a black friend; aghast at their comment, i immediately confronted them over its apparent racism, and they replied that they had nothing against it personally, but were instead concerned about what other people might think...
...they're f*cking balls-out fascists fourty years later, and i want no part of them in my life...
...to anyone tempted to compromise their own best interests on behalf of what other people might think: don't give them that kind of power over you, or they'll drag you down in it...
Ah, I see you've met my mom. She's overly concerned with the opinions of others, to my and my siblings' detriment. Meanwhile, I have a "I don't know them, why should I care what they think?" attitude, which made my youth with her so very fun /s.
Her brain is clearly still locked into an old society's ways. The things she thinks would be humiliating are things that nobody would bat an eye at today, like wearing pajamas outside. She's got her "hidden" racism too, of course. She's made comments about my partners "having dark complexions." I eventually went off on her, calling out her racist thoughts, and she's shut up about it since. Or at least, she's shut up about it when I'm around.
My ex wife is indian, I'm white, my kids are mixed race. When i lived in louisiana, my son's pre-school teacher took me aside and told me "I'm not racist, I just feel bad for him. He's not going to fit in because of his background". She then segregated him from the rest of the class and sat him at a table where it was just him and one other non-white kid. the white kids were at other tables, physically pretty far from where he was sitting.
Fuck people who say shit like that. They're absolutely just as racist as the overtly racist fascist pieces of garbage running the US.