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I am 1pm friend (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Me laying in bed wondering if they smell the jizz.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Then the dog comes in, and smells a snack he can lick up, while you try to keep them away, and play it off cool.........but that dog REALLY wants that snack!

And thats when your friends walk into you getting an unwanted bj from a dog, and everybody is like "OH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!"

And you're like "wait, no, I can explain!!!"

I'm imagining it like it could have been a scene in "Theres something about mary"

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Do you often think about getting head from a dog?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Ever since they watched Ali G Indahouse

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Check their username, @[email protected] 🤣

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Sometimes it’s hard to smell something that’s all over you, you don’t know till you take a shower and go back to your room that you stank af

I always suggest airing out your room while you shower

[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I wash my sheets once a year whether they need it or not so that’s not a problem in my world.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Ooh la la, the Queen Victoria treatment!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

I don’t give a fuck about the queen.

The mushrooms I forage off them are about fifty percent of my diet.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago

Ah yes. Sound advice from SatansMaggotyCumFart.