tonystark29

joined 2 years ago
 

I went to college with this guy 10 years ago and I considered him a friend up until this year. Something changed in him, and he constantly needs to put me down and I don't know how to handle it.

We're both 28, for reference.

Last year, he reported me to the college because I was doing students' homework for them for some extra cash. He said that what I was doing was depreciating his Diploma. I guess I get it, but what kind of friend would try to get me in trouble for something as harmless as doing people's homework? He didn't ask me to stop first or talk to me about it first, he just flat out reported me. Some friend.

Edit: I'm not saying what I did was not wrong. If he valued my friendship, he would have talked to me first. And I would have valued our friendship enough to stop.

I ended up dropping out of the program because of stress. He graduated this spring. I congratulated him and genuinely was happy for him. He then sends me this really childish text, bragging about how he graduated and I didn't. Here's a quote from part of the conversation. No joke, this is word for word:

"Hey [my name], just letting you know that I am an engineer now and you aren't. Also I just got hired at [his work] and am making $34 now just to start. There will be a party at [local bar] to celebrate my graduation. You should come. There will be resumes being taken, you should submit yours, because people like me always need assistants. Even though you are not an engineer by any means."

I thought, maybe he's being intentionally arrogant as a joke that I'm supposed to get. But that's not the case, this kind of talk continued for months. And he means it to be hurtful.

I couldn't take it anymore, so I blocked him on everything I could think of.

A little bit of background information, I recently started my own business making custom tools. This quote was a part of what he commented on my Instagram picture of one of my tools yesterday:

"You should stop posting these online, it's really embarrassing because your [tool name] is such a failure. I should redesign all of it for you because I'm actually an engineer at [company name] and have a lot more experience. I could actually do it right, unlike you. I just might help you if you ask me nicely."

Like, what the hell did I do to deserve that? I don't know why I let it even bother me because of how obviously immature he is being.

I didn't respond. I blocked him on Instagram too, but now he's trying to message me on LinkedIn. Blocked him there now too.

I'm still friends with his brother, so it's impossible for me to completely block him out from my life unfortunately.

I almost want to explain to him how narcissistic he is, and how his messages are an obvious cry of mental insecurity. I know that that would just be fueling the fire though, and would solve nothing.

He deserves to be put in his place. I don't know if that's possible though without me becoming just as petty as he is.

How should I handle this? He's bound to see me in the future, so there's no avoiding his bullshit.

Thanks

 

This is primarily talking about state dependence with ADHD medication (stimulants).

State dependence is when information that is learned while taking ADHD medication is difficult to recall when not in the same physiological state (when not on ADHD meds).

I started taking Vyvanse about 7.5 years ago, and at that time I started learning so much more than I ever have. I hyperfocused on computers, learned how to program in multiple programming languages, I learned a lot about Linux. During that time, I also learned a lot about 3D printing and mechanical engineering, and made a lot of cool things. About 2 years ago, my tolerance to the meds reached a certain threshold where I stopped being able to recall all the things I have learned.

When I take double my prescribed dose (which I am not advising you to do), I can reach that state of clarity and recall everything again, but only for a few hours, and then I crash lasting a few days. It's not healthy for me to continuously do this, and my dose is already too high for my doctor to raise it anymore (90mg concerta).

Today I read about state dependence in a wellness book that has a section about stimulants and ADHD, and it explains why I can't remember or do any of the computer-related things I used to do. I wish there was a way to recall all the information I've learned without having to raise my dose or use any sort of substance. It's really a pickle of a situation.

 
 

In the front two exterior pockets, the sewing kit fits in on the left and the Knipex fits in the right.

It's basically a mini commonly used hardware and medication pouch. I use fishing line for sewing in situations where I need strong thread, and I have various size needles in there too. The Altoids Smalls tin has a few of my most commonly used medication for me and my family. The Rolaids are for my heartburn unfortunately.

 

The leather wallet is homemade, while I bought the Hide & Drink pocket organizer.

Contents:

  • Homemade wallet
  • Field notebook (stored in the back pocket of wallet)
  • Mini BIC lighter
  • Swisscard Lite tools inside a 3D printed card enclosure (because I broke the original one)
  • Zebra F-701 pen (in the bottom horizontal pocket of wallet)
  • Hide & Drink pocket organizer
  • Fenix R18RV2 flashlight
  • Victorinox Cybertool L
  • Knipex Cobra XS pliers
  • EDCPocketTools Mini CatClaw (prototype)
  • Zipties (not shown - inside organizer)
 

Leather wallet

  • Has a pocket in the back to hold a field notes book.
  • Pen compartment
  • Lighter pocket
  • Swisscard Lite tools in a 3d printed card

3D printed pocket organizer

  • Victorinox Huntsman
  • Fenix E18R V2
 
 

I use Obsidian (a personal knowledge management system) to log my daily notes, and I also am starting to get into the habit of tracking my moods as well. I programmed it to automatically paste a link to the corresponding mood using AutoHotkey because the firmware of the macro pad doesn't allow full strings to be returned. The top left key is to add a timestamp. I initially was using blank keycaps, but I thought that using a label maker would be a little better. Not the most ideal, but it works.

This is an example of how I use it

 
 

It has a pocket in the front for a sharpening stone. On the side, it has a ferro rod to start fires. It's for bushcrafting mainly. I know it's a little rough around the edges and my stitches aren't perfect, but it works!