Devestating Pyrotechnics... who would have predicted this?
Univ3rse
joined 2 years ago
My base reaction would be that I would not, as I do not have an STI (I test frequently, regardless of sexual activity). I might consider it if I believe we may be exceptionally compatible (emotionally, goals, etc), the type of illness, AND we spend enough time for me to see that they are managing it well enough on their own that I can be confident they are minimizing my risk. While zero risk is not achievable (even in a monogamous relationship with a STI free partner), if they are managing their half of the equation and I'm managing mine, then that shows they are a partner who cares enough to protect me. I know that many with STIs may find that frustrating and view it as part of the stigma they face, but it isn't about them. As an individual with no infections, I'd ideally like to keep it that way.
I've been on both sides of this scenario, but I'll explain why I have flaked in the past to maybe help you understand why it could happen.
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The individual suddenly becomes impatient/aggressive within the time that was given. Not only is this a big turnoff in general, it is also concerning and leads me to reconsider the safety of the scenario.
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The individual communicates well up to the point i confirm the meet. Suddenly, they are taking a significant amount of time to respond, so i assume they are not interested or asleep. I will sometimes wake up to find they were messaging long after we last talked, almost as if they decided to flake, but wanted it to appear as if I did.
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Their demeanor completely changed once we agreed to meet. To be clear, I mean they suddenly become very disrespectful and demeaning. I don't know them, so to move to that type of interaction without discussion or prior involvement makes that person unsafe in my opinion.
While I do have sympathy with your argument, I also have two counter points:
Autism isn't considered "wholesome," it is the subject of mockery and common insult, replacing "retard."
As someone with autism, people with the personality disorders you describe often try to target us for abuse. Fortunately for me, I was raised in an environment that I have a hard shell and fight back, but many aren't so lucky.