FedPosterman5000
Maybe ignorance- as in it sounds like something one would write as a child after first learning what atheism means
Yeah I was confused by reading that it was embraced since it comes off at face as anti-proletariat. I’d never heard of Shliapnikov, but from a brief scan of his writing (Theses to the Ninth Party Congress “On the relations between the Russian Communist Party, the soviets, and production unions.”), seems more in line with what I’d expect from labor that’s done labor.
Picturing ~~the~~ a meme of two planes talking:
“How many levels of triangle are you on?”
Yeah the rapid progression and capitalization on opportunity really drives home the difference of bourgeois and working class interest and the means pursued to meet those. Im interested to read more about Gramscis developing views and later rejection of nationalism wrt sardinia vs mainland. And more about the coalescing of agriculture, manufacturing and fascism (ie fiat).
Idk something about nationalism, isolationist industry, and the willingness of centrists to willingly hand over everything sounds oddly familiar 🧐
I’m almost glad I didn’t get any sort of liberal education on this in high school/college, so I can try and parse this from a more materialist lens than whatever I would’ve been taught via houghton-mifflin
I had a hard time finding ecosystem maps in a form I’m familiar with but this site was a good level for my familiarity with NZ, and I think in time I’d find a plant list on here https://environment.govt.nz/publications/environment-aotearoa-2019/theme-1-our-ecosystems-and-biodiversity/
Oh also I swear under my breath a LOT at work and the stim ring, breathing exercises, and identifying and directly identifying/addressing the triggers helps. One approach is having someone (a fellow adhd/anger-haver) I’ve established mutual consent with for venting, who then usually helps ground my reaction in a more solid worldview.
Guess I’ll have to actually read more theory and see where else I can spot it in the wild 😜
Likewise- Who could forget dear Ratboy! I’ll CW for brief mentions of violence, drug and alcohol use in my background later on (spoilered section).
In brief, journaling has been big - nothing intensive, just how I’m feeling that day and the conditions I think led to that (either anecdotally or on a 1-5 scale in the big areas: sleep, exercise, diet, stress, etc.)
Recognizing things that are triggering an outburst, then heading it off in an early stage, typically by (in order of preference): addressing the conflict directly (if identified), drawing, writing, meditating/breathing, watching the fish tank, or taking it out on my heavy bag. I’ve really liked stim rings but always lose them (literally 3/3), but I’ve found it’s worth it to get a handful (lol) of replacements. I also really like “worry stones”.
I like soft stim toys (stress ball, etc) but tend to destroy them. Turned out I just needed to cross the ‘cuteness’ rubicon, so now I have a little capybara stuffed animal in my work bag which I literally couldn’t bring myself to destroy and that makes me happy anytime I brush against it while digging around.
I’ve also found that drinking a glass of cold water/splashing water on my face helps reset.
CBT (the therapy) didn’t feel like the silver bullet, but I think it’s helped. I’m reading “ The Happiness Trap” - which deals with acceptance and commitment therapy- and that’s really been vibing with me so far.
spoiler
I was taught all my life (prior to this years adhd diagnosis) that the solution was to just stfu, and put that anger into work/sports. So I always had a chip on my shoulder and thought it was a strength.
Which then usually spilled over into goading “assholes” into “justified” fights in my childhood (who’s the real asshole though?); and this does not translate well into adulthood where consequences are more readily available lol. I also recognized that this was a pattern of men in my family which I was falling into - my dad broke the generational cycle of beating children.
Side tangent though, I’ve been talking with my dad and brother and nephews about this tendency, and have seen improvements in all of our tempers. Basically just realizing that we were all at the “end of our ropes”, because our feelings were bottled instead of addressed, and that now we can just outpour love instead and let the negative shit go. Like I feel so sorry for my grandfather; how bad must your life have been to belt a child rather than be a mentor.
Additionally I’ve used (chronologically) food, alcohol, sex, and nicotine/drugs as crutches to avoid feeling my feelings. So most recently I’ve been cribbing my nephews notes as he learns how to “feel big feelings”.
At the highest-level, I’ve been enjoying reading some Buddhist writing, and beginning to understand that happiness isn’t about the absence of suffering - which is what I’ve been pursuing, but angered that I haven’t found. I think I need to adopt the mindset of a pig and rather than crave the absence of mud, enjoy the mud in which I find myself.
Yeah that’s making sense to me now that I’ve almost finished the introductory material lol. Just surprised me seeing the phrase within the first couple pages. I’d literally had no idea of what the political dynamics of the early century Italy (or general Europe outside of WWI); I thought Mussolini just fell out of a coconut tree
🌴
