Often not even worth explaining... : adhd

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 hours ago

All words are made up, boomer.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Boomers think the solution to every problem is religion, "work harder" or alcohol. I knew not to listen to most of them when I was a child. I definitely don't heed their puerile advice now, especially after watching so many of them get blindsided circa 2008 and again during Covid.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 hours ago

Thank you for teaching me about rejection sensitive dysphoria, I think it has been playing a role in my struggles, but I didn't know it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm an elder millennial, practically an x-er, so its my first time seeing some of these terms.

Some of this stuff, like time blindness, yeah I get that and am medicated for it. Hours just fall off for me. Rejection sensitive dysphoria? Yeah that's another one I've identified in myself and others but didn't know the term for. I can't say I have it all the time but sometimes it can feel quite acute.

But justice sensitivity? Like, what does it even mean to be NT? It's just going along and not giving a shit about anything except what is immediately in front of you? Is this why I feel like I don't relate to a lot of people?do people just like not change in a conscious way, or even think? Why does the concept of justice even exist if it is only important to a minority of non NT people? I find this incredibly strange. And I say this as someone who probably is justice sensitive, so much so that politics is a big part of my life, but then most of my friends and non-work relations are as well.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

For me, it's that we were told that we live in a society with rules, but then people with money and power routinely break those rules. It's incredibly frustrating and confusing trying to understand and navigate multiple rule systems when only one system is written down, but the unwritten one is being followed.

It makes me irate seeing people lie just enough to steal money from those around them, but not enough to go to jail. Most NT people don't have the time/energy to care, but it's like a hot poker in my side knowing that someone is "breaking the rules" and getting away with it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago

My wife is very rule oriented, she likes to understand what her place is, and make sure she is living up to the explicit and implicit (with a limit only of her vivid imagination) tasks in order to fulfill her role.

I am much more chaotic and didn't give a fuck about rules for a long time because its all external and alienated. But as I've gotten older, I've developed an ethics, not morality, that if anything is much stricter than what is "necessary." But my own ethics have, to the best of my ability, good reasonable justifications, with a high standard for logical consistency and self growth and actualization, whereas I still see those externalized rules, especially the ones that seem to undergird the logic of private property, oppression, imperialism, patriarchy, racism; to still be external and alienating, if not just corrosive to the human spirit.

My ethics compel me to.do things that others wouldn't dare, their morality compels them to do things that I can't even comprehend. Its like no matter what the rules are, I'll always find damn good reasons to be feisty. This of course plays beautifully into my afore mentioned rejection dysphoria which isn't chronic but still acute; and comes on strong in moments of self assessment of just these dynamics.

Its almost like people are impossibly complicated, but maybe that's just me

[–] [email protected] 12 points 13 hours ago

My parents (slightly too old to be boomers) heard that my nephew was diagnosed with ADHD and seem to get it - “I suppose they didn’t know about it to diagnose you with back in our day”. My dad’s blatantly undiagnosed Autistic too.

[+] [email protected] -5 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

[removed by mod]

[–] [email protected] 7 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

Accurate clocks were only widely available and relevant to anyone following the growth of railroads less than 200 years ago.

And YOU apparently think all humanity evolved an equal sensitivity to the passage of it, and that everyone else should be in just as much of a damn hurry as you.

[+] [email protected] -9 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Not wanting my time wasted waiting for someone who can't be bother to think about how their lateness affects others, doesn't mean I'm in a hurry.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

Ok, doesn't change the fact that clocks weren't available to the layman until a couple centuries ago.

We did not evolve to be sensitive to the passage of time.

It's a thing whether you like it or not. Your preference for punctuality is a learned behavior, not something that everyone else has.

[+] [email protected] -9 points 22 hours ago (4 children)

It's a skill which can be practiced. Making excuses to avoid doing that doesn't help anyone.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

That’s funny, because every time I’ve been in a group effort at uni or the office, the late folks were the neurotypicals while those with ADHD showed up early.

Which is a polite way of saying, you’re full of shit, a fucking atrocious human being, and you statistically make less money than me who has a literal disability 👍

Edit: and of course it’s a lemm.ee fascist. Typical.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

while those with ADHD showed up early

I go where the phone reminders command.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 22 hours ago

Imagine being colorblind and someone trying to explain what purple looks like. Seeing purple is not a skill, either you have the receptors in your eyes or your don’t. The ability to sense time is similar. It is not a skill.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 22 hours ago

Damn, I used to believe that because I could do something it was possible if not easy for everybody else to do that thing. I'm ashamed to admit that I felt that way well into my thirties.

Then (way, way too late in my life) I somehow realized that not everyone was the same as I am, and I learned a little thing called empathy.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Ok, then it's a skill that not everyone else values the same way you do. It doesn't make you better than anyone. Frankly, it appears to stress you out, and probably lots of people around you too.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 day ago (2 children)

"Justice sensitivity" as a symptom of a disorder is fucking wild. Like they really said, "This person doesn't roll over and take all the systemic abuse. We keep telling them it's a normal amount of abuse but they don't accept it. This is their problem."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

What disorder are you referring to? I tried to look this up, and justice sensitivity just seems to be a personality characteristic. There are also lots of websites talking about its link to ADHD and autism, but AFAIK it's not a symptom of either.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Hm, looking it up I think you're right.

I still think it's kind of wild that we've noticed these things are linked to higher "justice sensitivity", and as a society we still insist that those people are disordered.

Like, maybe there's a link between having the kind of "disorder" that our hypernormative society punishes for not fitting its far too rigid systems, and being sensitive to injustice.

It's like breaking someone's finger and then noting that that person has high "digital sensitivity". Like no, they have an injury, being sensitive where the injury happened is to be expected, actually.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago

Sure, although those are still different things, and people won't receive a diagnosis just because they're more sensitive to matters of justice.

I completely agree with you that the stigma around psychological disorders ("disorder bad") isn't justified. Especially people with conditions like autism or ADHD often just experience the world differently and in ways that would sometimes be beneficial if everyone saw it that way.

The term "disorder" does a poor job at conveying that these conditions often result from peoples' inability to function in "normal" society, which is not caused by them being "bad" but rather by society making it difficult for them to function as well as they could.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

I absolutely agree, although I wonder if it's sorta like "hypervigilance". Vigilance and keen observation are fantastic!

But there's also a point where it interferes with your life because it's freaking exhausting and you just can't...stop...noticing...every...little...thing...

Maybe that's what they mean, assuming in good faith they're not being all 1984 about it...

Although it does feel like the mental health "industry" trend of pushing the onus on the individual who, may simply be reacting normally to a completely chaotic, absurd, often bleak environment.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago

That last part is a worthy criticism of the mental health industry and one that often gets a lot of push back unfortunately.

It results in a lot of misdiagnosed individuals and mismatched support plans that can cause more harm than good.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago

Yes, and if it interferes with social, work, or home life it can be more than just mentally taxing.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

Well, now I have a term for that awful sinking feeling I get in the pit of my stomach whenever I find out my friendgroups are doing things without me. That's a start.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Executive dysfunction!

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