this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2025
485 points (91.9% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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The fuck?

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago

4chan posts are never fake though

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago

Is she checking her own socks and underwear?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Get a girlfriend, fap in her shower

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I moved in with mine; now I can fap anywhere in the house. She likes watching me do it. I find it awkward but whatever. At least I don't have to pretend that the crumpled up bits of toilet paper everywhere are "snot rags" anymore.

Edit: What's with the downvotes?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Couldn't he just flush it down the toilet?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

How if mom controls the tissue inventory?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

By nutting directly into the toilet, bypassing the need for tissue

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (2 children)

You still need the tissue to rub yourself with. Jerking off bare handed is painful, especially if you don't have foreskin because your parents were religious barbarians.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

if it's painful don't grip that hard. how could possibly be hurting yourself trying to jack off and think "no, it's my dick that's wrong."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

wtf who jerks it with a tissue

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Fucking everybody without foreskin who realizes that lotion/lube is too messy.

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