Asklemmy

I can get people to tell me their life story and trauma within 10 minutes of meeting them.

Someone tell me what psychology trick I'm doing so I can stop doing it!!!!

In an argument, never use "you". No accusations. Keep a calm, relaxed tone of voice. Even if they don't concede, they will eventually apologize and reconsider their position, but it may take a while after the conversation ended.

~~"I told you you shouldn't have bought that."~~

"I didn't think that purchase was necessary."

~~"You upset me."~~

"I was made to feel upset."

Be kind and use people's names. Also, just asking for stuff.

You'd be amazed how far it will take you just to ask for something, using a person's name, and being kind about it. Demand something and people will be reluctant to give you a thing.

If you don't want to answer the question, say "I don't know, what about you?" and they'll start talking about themselves, and you won't be in the spotlight anymore.

If you want someone to approve something, ask for something over the top outrageous and then when they expectedly say no, you „compromise“ to the thing you actually intended.

Another fun trick I learned in sales is that if you're trying to get someone to purchase something, instead of having them focus on whether or not they should get something, change their question to something else.

For example, I used to sell phones. Instead of having people try to figure out if they want the newest Samsung or not, I would take the phone in two different colors and ask if they liked it in blue or black instead. Putting it in their hands let's them imagine having the phone already and the question changes from should I purchase this phone to what color do I want?

I'm quite sure this can translate to other questions and decisions people ask themselves

“Langer demonstrated this fact by asking a small favor of people waiting in line to use a library copying machine: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I’m in a rush?”

The effectiveness of this request-plus-reason was nearly total: Ninety-four percent of those asked let her skip ahead of them in line.

Compare this success rate to the results when she made the request only: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine?” Under those circumstances, only 60 percent of those asked complied.

At first glance, it appears that the crucial difference between the two requests was the additional information provided by the words “because I’m in a rush.”

But a third type of request tried by Langer showed that this was not the case. It seems that it was not the whole series of words, but the first one, “because,” that made the difference.

Instead of including a real reason for compliance, Langer’s third type of request used the word “because” and then, adding nothing new, merely restated the obvious: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make some copies?”

The result was that once again nearly all (93 percent) agreed, even though no real reason, no new information, was added to justify their compliance.”

Excerpt From Influence Robert B. Cialdini, PhD

Which kind of "best" is your "best"?

A good retail one: don't say "sorry for your wait." Say "thank you for waiting" or "thank you for being so patient".

Something to do with... it makes people feel good about themselves if they think they've done something for you, which in turn makes them more likely to keep being patient.

Being nice to people makes them happy to be around you.

The soctatic method. It forces people to actually think about their position in an argument

answering questions in an accuate way that still leaves the asker with no real additional information.