Ask Lemmy

we fall in love

Missing specifier. You each fall in love with other people.

get married

Missing specifier. You each marry neither your perfect matches nor the other people you each fell in love with.

live happily

Mental illness can provide happiness. This seems almost good, and yet...

ever after

Insufficiently specific. You both die in the same mass road accident, travelling in separate vehicles with your respective spouses, not long after you're each married.

Ok take two, the wish is actually granted:

Your beautiful wife is incredibly intelligent and is perfect for you... as a result of profound psychopathy. She has chosen you specifically as the next in a chain of husbands with whom she has meticulously crafted idyllic relationships for the purpose of complete psychological and emotional control. Once sufficiently in her intoxicatingly romantic grasp, she convinces you of the simple joys of homicide. You eliminate her previous husband together, then your own family as a gesture of pure devotion. You fall into a pattern of orphanage arson, elderly abuse, and kitten stomping before she ultimately gets you both positions as mid level managers at united healthcare.

You couldn't be happier.

As you celebrate your 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000th anniversary and witness the heat death of the universe, you realize that all matter and energy has dispersed, is no longer observable, and that you and your beloved will be floating in a void of nothingness forever.

It is all the result of paranoid schizophrenia. She doesn't exist, you estrange your family, and you ultimately die from a slow descent into indigence and squalor because you are unable to escape the prison of your own mind.

Granted. All houses are now 18sq ft and only available in cities where all jobs require you to clock in at 5AM and clock out at midnight.

The situation is so bad over there it took me awhile to think of how this could be made bad.

I'd go with:

Granted, but groceries and water go up in price 1000% because a war breaks out and a bioweapon has been used on the nation's food supply.

The housing prices crash no one builds decent homes and all you can buy is a trailer house.

A solar storm wipes out almost all computers and all tech to build chips.

In a bizarre twist of fate, a couple of houndreds linux pcs, a handfull of steam decks and a windows millennium survived the blast.

Hey here's part of that wish granted with hopefully no downsides. https://mother3.fobby.net/

Oh, that is an interesting one.

Linux beats Windows, but also some become Windows eventually?

The other perks make me lean towards it being worth it, because this also implies the downfall of Microsoft.

Don't you tease me with The Doors of Stone, even in a hypothetical.

Granted. Trump is now fully capable of stripping the people of their rights to enrich the state and turn America into an effective fascist engine of war. He then turns his machine on the rest of the world to spread the goodness of America.

He leaves office to use his fortune to set up a charitable foundation leaving a JD Vance presidency

The down side is his rational arguments and rational way of thinking is always opposite of what you want. He also convinces the state and federal legislators to repeal the twenty second amendment and he stays in office for several terms.

His followers believe some kind of twisted conspiracy theory about him being replaced by reptiloids and want to overthrow the woke communist impersonator, war ensures.