Ask Lemmy

Free blowjobs

That's 50% taken care of now for the 1 extra vote to stay alive, how hard could it be to please a single woman ......

There is no way. People would say they disapprove just to watch you fucking die, even if you gave them everything they wanted. Fuck that.

You cannot refuse this...

Yeah, no, I'm refusing this, dying sounds less compliment, and yeah, I did read the rules.

May I point out this entire question is fundamentally broken.

I have absolute authority over the entire world? I order everyone to vote 'Approve' on me. "But wait!" you say, "You can't just order them to do that! They'll never listen to you!"

And that could be absolutely true. But if it is, then my authority is no longer absolute - in which case, no course I take will work, because anyone can elect to not follow it. I can't compel any group of people - nations, religions, corporations, the local elderly golfer's association - to do anything. And the second they realize that, they'll break off to pursue their own agendas.

At most, I can select one broad coalition who I think will work with me, and try to leverage a smaller group. But now we're just back to good ol' factionalism, and that's not a long-term winning solution.

I would die pretty quickly, so I'd do as much good as I could in the time I had. Mostly tons of wealth transfer.

I would automatically forgive every debt of every person in the bottom 75% of income.

I would then institute a new currency that cannot be exchanged for the old currency and devalue all currently existing currency in the world.

I would replace all of those currencies with a credit, where one credit is worth one hour of unskilled labor, meaning that the minimum wage would be set to one credit.

Developing new skills and providing that labor at higher skill levels would give you federally mandated minimum multipliers of your minimum wage.

Worldwide I would make it a rule that the C level executives of any company are directly personally responsible for the actions of their company as a whole, meaning that if a mining company chooses to disregard safety measures and get one of their workers killed then all of the executives of that company are guilty of manslaughter and will be tried as if they personally slaughtered that man.

Every company that is currently traded on the stock market would have to have external oversight so that they cannot monopolize their field.

Every company that utilizes software must submit their software to a federally secured library with all of the source code and all of the steps needed to recreate their software.

This will be given copyright protections for 21 years, after which time the code will become public domain.

All copyright will be set to 21 years from the date of its creation.

All nuclear weapons will be destroyed and converted into fuel for nuclear reactors.

Every person currently in prison who did not commit a violent act will be automatically pardoned.

Any person who did commit a violent act and who has more than 10 years left on their sentence will be immediately executed.

The maximum amount of time a person can be incarcerated will be capped at 10 years. If a person does a crime that requires incarceration of greater than 10 years time they will be executed.

If a prisoner participates in a work program they will receive the minimum wage that they deserve based off of their qualifications.

I would also abolish all health insurance and instead transition to single-payer across the world. All hospitals will be nationalized and required to achieve a set minimum capability to be certified as a hospital.

I would forgive all debts between nations and remove all tariffs as this is now my world and there are no debts between my Nations and there are no tarrifs between my Nations.

Every country or collective will be given the absolute right to operate with its own presidents and leaders and groupings as they so choose without molestation from other people or groups.

In the event of a dispute there will be a world Court and you will argue your side with the world Court and if they are unable to make a decision then it will be given to general vote to decide the outcome.

Being as that there are no officially established Nations anymore, people will not require visas. You will have a license to operate a vehicle and the freedom to go wherever you are capable of going in the entire world.

I would also demilitarize the world to a reasonable degree and spread out small militias to act as a policing force.

Of the police would no longer have qualified immunity in America or anywhere in the world and every police person would carry a camera on them at all times when they are performing their duties.

Turning off the camera or having a malfunction in that camera that is not immediately reported while you are interacting with a member of the public will be grounds for severe consequences up to and including execution.

After that I would just steer the course we haven't landed on Mars yet we've not begun to colonize the solar system we haven't repaired the damage to the planet there would be several special interest groups established to achieve those things and if despite my utopian concept the majority of the world decides that I'm not worth it than it the very least I'll have made enough positive impact to be satisfied with the outcome.

kms

Eradicate poverty and cars. Hey guess what drivers, you hate driving, that's why you rush until it's over. So I'll make public transit so fast and reliable that driving will finally be treated as primitive as it actually is.

Free apartments for all. Luxury apartments cost money. Unwanted, dangerous, and unpleasant jobs are automated with AI.

All debt is forgiven and you have a clean slate. Everyone now has a credit score of 700. Kickstart your best life.

Happy population means more locally owned businesses, less crime, less mental illness, less of a declining birth rate.

You must maintain 50% + 1 vote of "Approve", exactly 50% Approve / 50% Disapprove still means death for you. "Abstain" is not a vote means it isn't counted.

All the world's population is super diverse. Hard to convince them.

So my strategy is to maximise the Abstain voters, and then it's only a small group of actual voters that I need to convince for my actual ideas.

I manipulate people into believing that all this voting is something super special and complex and first you need to understand lots of things about the whole world before you will be able to make correct decisons etc. This is going to work because most of the world's population is rather uneducated, so they would feel quite inferior and always vote Abstain.

Go the Warhammer 40K emperor route: set up nukes worldwide, triggered by a pacemaker on me. I die, the world dies.

Easy instant death.

I press the red button and end it all.

Approval ratings don't matter anymore.

You're welcome.

Any non-corrupt politician would be unstoppable if they honestly attempted to strive for at least a few of these:

• election reform
• single payer
• abolish private medical insurance and fold those companies into a 100% taxpayer funded (Single Payer) national healthcare system much like they have in Canada and South Korea. (Anywhere else doesn’t have true Single Payer.)
• repeal Citizens United
• bring back Glass Steagall
• anti-genocide/ cutting off the infinite money tap that the AIPAC/IDF command
• prosecute Israel (and the politicians that enabled them in the US should also be tried in front of The Hague) for crimes against humanity
• prosecute George W. Bush and company for the Iraq war. Imprison them for the rest of their lives.
• publicly execute Jon Bolton in the most brutal way possible using weapons from arms manufacturers that he openly works for 😅
• student loan reform (without bullshit means testing)
• reparations
• stop spying on US citizens and dissolve the CIA/NSA/FBI’s conflict of interest with ALL tech companies in the US. Facebook is a DIRECT feed to the NSA and law enforcement and that needs to stop not be ramped up under the guise of “protecting us from terrorism” like Kamala asserts and ends up being used solely to go after whistle blowers and protesters.
• break up the conglomerate farms that our government actively encourages to put poison in our food that they then feed to only poor children in our schools while the rich kids get organic diets.
• reform the FDA and USDA (compare the list of banned chemicals in the EU to here and tell me that someone isn’t greasing someone’s palms in exchange for POISONING us with roundup, etc)
• police DEmilitarization
• stop writing blank checks to the military industrial complex under the guise of “helping”, sending vast sums of money that would EASILY pay for Single Payer to be burned in futile proxy wars with Russia
• force car companies to make self driving car technology open source and introduce rigorous standards and best practices for this software that is responsible for human lives
• break up the airline industry
• break up the banking industry
• audit the Fed
• disallow Black Rock and other conglomerates from owning homes
• disallow real estate purchases from non US citizens
• disallow real estate price fixing and penalize the companies that did it
• make college free for EVERYONE and raise taxes on the rich to pay for it
• force NVidia to open source CUDA/ZLUDA
• decriminalize marijuana
• fund a high speed rail system in the US
• reform the Supreme Court and bring Clarence Thomas up on treason charges under the penalty of death
• immigrants no longer in cages (rather than ramping up putting immigrants in cages and just marketing it differently)
• end the embargo on Cuba
• penalize countries and corporations financially for pollution. Make it prohibitively expensive for Temu, Amazon, SHEIN, and Alibaba to ship their goods over oceans on the worst polluting internal combustion engines on earth: container ships. In reality, it was our Clintonite, globalist Democrats (the good guys!) that actively encouraged corporations to manufacture overseas.
• reward other countries and corporations financially for green policies
• dissolve the two party system and bring the DNC and GOP up on treason charges
• give Edward Snowden immunity for his “crimes” and protect him as a whistle blower
• fund the fediverse and other decentralized technologies that have a direct positive effect on democracy
• socialize and break up Amazon into twenty companies
• open source and decentralize Twitter for the crime of election interference
• force Amazon, Google, Alphabet, OpenAI, Meta, and Apple to open source at least a large chunk of their tech stacks
• force pharmaceutical industry to open source their tax-payer funded research and products that were created using government funding
• socialize Google (for the crime of election interference and others)
• fund RISC-V chip technologies instead of closed source technologies to bring chip manufacturing back to the US
• socialize Meta (for the crime of election interference and other crimes)