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rule #1: be kind
Wait, how is this a thing? Were they -ahem- draining the men before the flights..?
Wank in a cup pre flight and wank in a cup after.
You'd also need to repeat the experiment as a control (ideally still doing as much of the same things to account for other variables). For best accuracy you'd need the same group returning another day, going through the same boarding process without takeoff, and tracking the exact time between wanks.
And the Worst Job in 2024 goes to:
Drumroll
Assistant to the Post Flight Fluffer!
Probably pays pretry good.
I would unironically enjoy my job if i made 150k+ a year just to jack off men for science
Post Flight Fluffer:
"You guys get paid..?!"
Assistant Post Flight Fluffer
Can we please stop pretending that future space colonists will live their whole lives in microgravity? Nobody seriously suggests that as an option, that's stupid. Countless studies have shown that for proper biological development, humans (and in fact nearly all organisms) need gravity. But for large space stations, spin gravity is actually not that freaking hard. If you can create a large enough station to support a sizable colony, it does not take much more engineering to make it spin.
Imagine turning on a black light inside the Vomit/Semen Comet.
We're never getting off this rock. Lol
I really hope not. Looking at how humanity has managed this world, I think it’s for the best if the laws of physics and biology are such that we’re never able to escape our solar system.
Large developed organisms don't travel the stars. The building blocks of life travel. I think anyway. Maybe that's too oversimplified.
Thus, the semen comet.
Sperm concussion?
Why do you think baseball teams sell those mini batting helmets?
I was dropped on my head before i was even born.
I was dropped on my head before i was even ~~born~~ conceived.
Ftfy ;-)
Oh no, maybe this will stop us finding another planet to ruin.
After sparing this paper a fair bit of attention I feel I've wasted it.
Nowhere in the paper could i find in what conditions the test samples were kept during the experiment. This is pretty basic stuff. At this stage I'd wage sloshing was the issue.
Reading this part of the methodology:
"2.2 Initial sperm analysis
After liquefaction...
[Two paragraphs later, in the same section: ] After this first analysis, the 15 sperm samples were split into two fractions. All the samples were exposed to 'Parabolic flight' (split 1) and to..."
Did they liquefied the samples and tested like that? Whaa?
The "After this first analysis" should not be in the "2.2 Initial sperm analysis". It just shouldn't!
Then I think "15 sperm samples were split into two fractions". ... "the samples were exposed to 'Parabolic flight' (split 1)"
splits, fractions, what a mess!! At this stage I've wasted enough.
The paper should be retracted, the reviewers spanked and the editor fired.
Sloshing? On a vomit comet? Naw...
the reviewers spanked
likely not much of a punishment for these perverts