this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Accusing someone of having too much semen.

It was a thing.

John Adams accused Alexander Hamilton of having such an excess of semen that all the brothels in the city couldn't help him.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

You got too many swimmers bro, I can't even

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

It was an insult, too. Different times.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

My username.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

"Ketter" meaning heathen.

My grandfather used it recently: "I used to smoke like a heathen".

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 hours ago

A she bitch of a goat's gizzard

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

You can get pretty good results by saying, "Well {verb} my {noun}!" It always ends up sounding quaint. It's like the mad libs of incredulity

  • Well kiss my grits!
  • Well steam my hogs!
  • Well string my banjo!
  • Well iron my shirts!
  • Well paint my deck!
  • Well trash my patio!
  • Well crash my harddrive!
  • Well tear my pants!
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago

You get this for "well trash my patio".

[–] [email protected] 23 points 12 hours ago

"I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you're unarmed."

~ William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew

"You want my children? Take them! I have the instrument to make more."

~ Caterina Sforza when blackmailed by kidnappers using her children as leverage (main source: Niccolo Machiavelli)

"We fulfill the demands of nature in a much better way than do you Roman women; for we consort openly with the best men, whereas you let yourselves be debauched in secret by the vilest."

~ Earliest recorded words of a Scot, third century AD (never change, Scotland).

[–] [email protected] 20 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

When my late husband said, "why you syphilitic son of a bitch" I knew that he was really angry at someone and if he said "rats in a dishpan" then something just went haywire. He passed away 30 years ago now and I have never heard another person say those things.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I love it. I've been enjoying "MotherFather" as a soft landing out of habitually cursing when frustrated.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago

i think Steve Martin said MotherFather Chinese Dentist

[–] [email protected] 11 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (2 children)

...I have never heard another person say those things.

Haha, I can totally relate to someone making up expressions, then sticking with them. For example, a couple I made up for whatever reason, and still employ with a frequency:

  • Oh, rabbits! (expression of surprise, sometimes used as a mild curse)
  • Well, shut my mouth and spank my bottom! (surprised, Southern-style)
  • Smooch my ruby, red rump! (tauntingly, Bender of Futurama-style)

.

EDIT: Oh, and my grandpère used to loudly exclaim "Fiddlesticks!" when he was obviously angry or deeply annoyed. I've never heard that term used ever across old literature, films, etc.

EDIT2: Back when the TV series Deadwood was running, I remember someone online asking 'why are they swearing using completely modern terms?' and someone else answering 'because if the show used authentic curse words, the characters would all sound like variants of Yosemite Sam.'

I dunno, speaking as a Naked Gun / Zucker fan, I think I might have enjoyed that! :P

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 hours ago

Fiddlesticks is a known English term. It's a mild oath like dang or darn.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

"Oh rabbits" sounds like something Wallace and Gromit would say.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

"Oh, Rabbits!" is actually an Australian curse much like Americans say, Oh, Rats. It comes from the Great Rabbit plague. Never heard of it?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_plagues_in_Australia

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

I've heard of the rabbit plague but never would've made that connection.

Always found it akin to the perfect example of Murphy's Law that humans are the one invasive species that doesn't thrive well there.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 13 hours ago (4 children)

I say "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph" as an exclamation to this day.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago

I've started saying "Oh Buddah" just to mix it up a bit

[–] [email protected] 1 points 12 hours ago

I have a Day of the Dead (1985) drinking game that includes taking a drink whenever the alcoholic says, "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph." It's the only real catch-phrase in the movie, and since he's usually taking a drink too I don't feel like I'm drinking alone.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago

That reminds me, I once heard an irritated dad at a kids playground yell "cheese and rice"!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago