Asklemmy

Built a treehut between three trees close to our backyard without realising one of the trees were rotten.

It started as a platform maybe 1.5 meters up when started on the walls.
As I stood on one of the edges, the rotten tree opposite me, that corner of the platform broke off.
I was pivoted straight into the ground where a plank with a nail stuck halway into it was laying.
I fell directly onto the nail which penetrated my right arm at the tricep, maybe 3/4 of the way through the entire arm.

I'm just really happy it didn't hit my head, as that would have been really bad

A flowerpot fell on my head when I was little, on my forehead.
The thing is, I don’t remember this ever happening. There’s a photo of me with a giant bandage, and I still have a scar in the form of some dented skin. But I can’t recall anything from that time.
Maybe it’s because I was like 2 or 3 years old or something. But I find it a little bit unsettling that my memory is a blank.

The worst was probably splintering my tailbone. Apparently I have oddly dense bones, so they don't like to full out break, but just splinter.

I was snowboarding and trying to keep up with my mom. At the very very end of the run, I snagged my back edge and got slapped so hard to the ground, I'm pretty sure I blacked out for a few seconds (wear a helmet, kids). We rode the rest of the day and I don't remember much about it all except my butt hurt so bad. I couldn't sit down normally for over a year. I sat on my knees or in a snow tube in the living room because I couldn't stand to sit on the couch or in a chair at all.

A separate incident that might also tie for worst, but I think I fractured my skull when I was around 8? It could just be one of the growth plates, but I have a scar in my skin, and then a serious dent in my forehead in the skull which is attached to a long crack that goes down to my eyebrow before I'm not able to feel it anymore. We didn't go to the hospital or anything, I just dealt with the swelling and the small split. I did dent the corner beam in our house though. Thick skull I guess?

When I was 13 I wrapped a fire cracker in tape apart from the end with the fuse (I thought it would be louder that way). It exploded in my hand as I lit it.

My hand was fine because of the tape but the full force of the blast came out the untaped end and shot fragments of paper and black powder right into my face and eyes.

Ended up having to get rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. They basically removed several layers of skin from my face and scraped the debris from my eyeballs. After surgery I couldn't see further than like 10cm from my face and the doctors told me either it would be permanent or I'd be able to see again in a week or so. Luckily it was the latter.

I got extremely lucky and made a full recovery.

I was 11 or so, on holiday, went horseback riding wearing shorts and thin socks. They set up my stirrups too low and as I held on to the saddle for dear life, one stirrup kept bouncing on my ankle for the entire afternoon.

My thighs chafed pretty bad, and I got an open wound on my ankle about the size of those souvenir pressed oval coins. I don't know what my dad was thinking, but he treated my wound with some cream and then wrapped my whole calf in plastic wrap every day for about a week.

The wound turned into an ulcer, I couldn't walk without limping. I had all these little pockets of pus on the edges which my dad had me squeeze to try and make them smaller. It did nothing except be painful.

I eventually went home to my mom - a nurse - who took one look at my leg and rushed me to a doctor.

The doctor then proceeded to vigorously clean my wound before dressing it. It felt like hot barbed wire, that really sucked.

I still have the oval scar on my ankle.

I've probably hurt myself worse, but one memory that stands out is me crawling around in a bush, getting my pants stuck and then losing my grip so I turn upside down with my head in a bunch of stinging nettles.

Aan a two year old I fell off the couch into a metal table, narrowly missing my eye, but catching my eyebrow on the corner. Still have a small scar in my eyebrow.

As a teen (13-14 ish?) I broke both bones in my forearm. That kinda sucked.

I was lucky, my worst childhood injury was breaking a toe on the bottom of a swimming pool I jumped into.

I went camping with my family, was probably seven or eight years old. There was a sign right next to our camping spot to notify people about something not to do, who knows what the message was in reality but I like to imagine it as "do not bend this sign backwards to use it to catapult rocks you find laying around nearby".

Anyway, while my parents were preoccupied with setting up our tent, my makeshift catapult hit me right by the eye. Thankfully it did not actually injure my eye itself, just huge cuts both above and below the eye, but I had a pretty good talent for screaming at that age regardless of which part of my body was hurting. I remember after an hour or something my parents kept pushing that all the other campers were going to think I was being abused, and then we packed up and left our week-long camping trip a couple hours after arriving.

Not too bad.

But I was fucking around while trying to learn to ride a bike. Went too fast, hit a bump on a dirt road. Went over the handlebars, slid face first a few feet into a ditch.

Now, like I said, I wasn't badly injured. It was all just scrapes and bruises. But they were deep scrapes from my forehead all the way down one side of my face, then my chest and belly, plus along the inner side of my right arm from trying to stop myself.

Every scrape was filled with dirt and gravel, which had to be picked out. Then it all needed flushing out. So by the time it was all done I was high from endorphins and crying and screaming, looked like a shredder had beaten the shit out of me, and was both throbbing and burning along the entire scraped section.

Then I had to go to school like that lol.

I don't remember it myself but on the playground I apparently fell off one of those climbing walls with the holes in it and somehow my nose got caught in it and it ripped open or something. So my nose was stitched back on and now one canal is a bit smaller than the other. My mom loves to tell this very bloody story.

Climbed a tree, tried to jump to the next tree. Failed. Fortunately, I snagged a wasp nest on the way down. Nothing broken, anaphylaxis. Not breathing sucks. (I lived.)

I managed to remove at least one nail in all of my limbs through various activities. Some of them are dumber than others, but all of them are silly.

Tripped and fell while playing basketball on a rough asphalt court skid like 3 ft on my face scrapped and peeled 80% of my face and got grains of asphalt stuck in my face. To the point they couldn't get them all out and took a chunk out of my nose.

I stepped off a one foot tall wall and fractured one of my foot bones

Not me obviously, but you should look up the accident Adam Devine had as a kid. Pretty serious, but it is hilarious how he talks about it. His leg is so crazy knarley

Funnily enough, mine's also garden-pot related. I was playing with my sister and our friend and I tripped over and faceplanted into a terracotta pot. It could've been a lot worse because there was a cactus in it, but even as it was I needed six stitches.

Spilled boiling water on my chest, caused second degree burns

Ran my index finger down the blade of a pocket knife and nearly cut the tip off. Got a nice big scar and had a bunch of stitches

I've always been pretty careful by nature, even as a child. There's some close calls since I was outdoors a lot in the 90's hanging out in the forests and river valley, but nothing really bad happened. So I only have one standout story aside from boring scrapes and knocks from that time.

I made it to twelve years of age before I stepped on a log at a survival camp heading back from canoeing in a pond with a lady friend I met at camp. The log turned out to be hollow and full of bees suddenly very angry with me. Got about ~20 stings on the leg that went through the log since I was wearing shorts. A few up my shirt as I fled screaming profanity.

They were on me instantly, but didn't chase me very far thankfully. I don't react to stings much so it wasn't sore for very long. Or I don't remember the pain well because I was still swooning from getting my first smooch on said pond canoe ride....which might explain why I stepped on said log without looking too close. I'm sure there would've been bees around it. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Was running around with my cousins on pavement wearing flip flops. I was chasing my cousin who ran up stairs and I slipped and hit my face on the side of a stair. To this day, I still have the scar on my lip that my tooth opened up.

Got hit by a car. Blacked out. I have some scars on my face from being pushed into the road.

Mine wasn't really all that bad, but the time that occurs to me involves me at like 5 or 6 years old, snow, a sled, a metal fence post, and a big red bump on my forehead. I hit pretty hard, but I don't think I was concussed or anything.

Bike riding in the 80s and jumping ramps, the slope was too high and sent the bike upward so I let go (bad plan) and supermanned myself across the pavement on my chest. I had vertical road rash stripes all down my front.