this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Wizard: I'm not keeping cash, I'm buying paper and ink and scrolls with it.

Being a wizard is super expensive.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Adventurers don’t know that. My horc fighter sees a wizard tower and automatically wants to raid it for magic weapons.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Instead of magic weapons in the vault you just find 300 years of tax paperwork

Even the lich king doesn't want to throw down with the IRS

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Good thing I kept this crown of intelligence.

Ever had an 8 int horc do your paperwork? It’s not good.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

The Great Audit of Bobisocheles.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

Death by papercuts

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

In a world where gold can be fabricated with magic, I imagine it would work like IRL diamonds. Synthetic diamonds are relatively cheap to make and just as (or even more) beautiful, but the only ones that have 'value' are the ones extracted destructively and with awful human conditions.

So you could make the caveat that because his gold is not 'genuine', it doesn't have market value.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

No, no, they sell synthetic diamonds at jewelry stores now. They just cost the same as the mined ones, because of course they do.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Moissanite is better anyways.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

Say it again for the people in the back!

I've been a woman for 37 years and I have never found a boring white diamond to be appealing. It's a rock. It's a boring color. Even as a little girl being shown the first real diamond I've ever seen in person, by my materialistic mother who made quite the to-do, I couldn't understand the appeal.

When I saw the first moissanite in person? I didn't know what it was, but I couldn't stop staring at this woman's ring! It was so... I had to apologize for staring, and when I told her I didn't know why I couldn't quit staring, she told me.

"It's moissanite," she said, grinning. Apparently, this happens to her four times a day. She told me all about it and even how to spell it. I popped it in my phone.

"I've never wanted to spend a fortune on a rock before in my life but I must have one."

"That's the best part," she said. "They're synthetic. This ring cost me less than $100."

Since then I've put moissanite next to a diamond and the moissanite shines brighter, and more importantly, has a gorgeous rainbow flash. The moissanite wins every time.

And no child slaves. Amazing.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

He's not making gold, he's making useful things he sells for gold. Fabricate turns an equivalent value of raw material into a crafted object, so to make 50 lbs of gold bars you'd need 50lbs of gold, but to make a piece of furniture you'd just need part of a tree and 10 minutes.

Just as a note, there's actually too much gold that exists in the Forgotten Realms. IRL humans have only mined 187,000 metric tons of gold, and 2/3 of that was mined since 1950. Without getting into the nitty gritty too much, let's just say there's not nearly enough gold for every monster to have even a small collection of coins, much less every adult dragon falling asleep on a golden pile while everyone else works just fine on a gold standard or something like it.

Is it the dwarven kingdoms out mining humanity? Is gold simply more common or perhaps available in easier, more concentrated ores?

Or are wizards adding more gold from thin air, and dragons provide a natural deflationary pressure by being obsessed with making great hoards of coins?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

There's a limit to what people can afford to buy, though. "Hey I made this sweet artifact it's worth 1000gp" "Cool, I can give you uhhh...THREE chickens for it?"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

So you're saying the wizards and dragons are coordinating their efforts in an attempt to keep scarcity artificially high?

I KNEW IT

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Relax, they're just implementing rational monetary policy to keep the economy healthy.

Of course their version of inflation reduction involves dragons burning down a significant part of the land, but it works. Nobody is complaining about the price of groceries anyway.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Well, they are, but the town guards beat them if they try to protest.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

Is it the dwarven kingdoms out mining humanity? Is gold simply more common or perhaps available in easier, more concentrated ores?

Probably a bit of both I'd imagine.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

wizards need towers because they get tired of being asking if they know how to make someone's cock fall off

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

caleb widogast: but i am the thieves too

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago (2 children)

My Artificer wants to help people.

That's why he's building out magic-tech that can cyborgify(steampunkify?) animals.

Just because towns don't want rats equipped with eldritch cannons, flamethrowers or healing pulses isn't his fault. Its a stepping stone to putting those things on people.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

And if that doesn't work your party can set up a side business saving people from rats equipped with eldritch cannons that seem to be increasingly common

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Unfortunately, your Artificer has accidentally ended up with a sworn enemy: a blue were-hedgehog with a need for speed and a taste for sausage sandwiches topped with chili.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

I now need to find a way to shift out the Hermit Crab that turns into his Eldritch Cannon for a mysteriously blue Hedgehog with attitude.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (3 children)

This is why I loved the old Stronghold Builders Guide. Give your players a base, something to care about AND something to adventure for. "Give up? And only have 7 bedrooms? I think not!"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

I'm partial to the 2e Castle Guide. Aside from some minor parts that book is system agnostic which I'm a big fan of. It also talks a lot about the culture around castles and who is needed to run one

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

Shit that's glorious

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Here's hoping Palworld spawns a BG3 spoof with a live market and politics...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

As your income increases you increase your defenses. Guards, armored caravans, a bank to store your gold, a connection to the local ruler so guards respond quickly, etc.

Besides, a wizard is probably spending most of their profits and books and other spell supplies. They gotta fund that Wizard's Tower of Compensation some how.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Overcompensation, you mean. /picklerick.gif