Wizard: I'm not keeping cash, I'm buying paper and ink and scrolls with it.
Being a wizard is super expensive.
this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2024
20 points (100.0% liked)
RPGMemes
10304 readers
300 users here now
Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Adventurers don’t know that. My horc fighter sees a wizard tower and automatically wants to raid it for magic weapons.
Instead of magic weapons in the vault you just find 300 years of tax paperwork
Even the lich king doesn't want to throw down with the IRS
Good thing I kept this crown of intelligence.
Ever had an 8 int horc do your paperwork? It’s not good.
The Great Audit of Bobisocheles.
Death by papercuts
In a world where gold can be fabricated with magic, I imagine it would work like IRL diamonds. Synthetic diamonds are relatively cheap to make and just as (or even more) beautiful, but the only ones that have 'value' are the ones extracted destructively and with awful human conditions.
So you could make the caveat that because his gold is not 'genuine', it doesn't have market value.
No, no, they sell synthetic diamonds at jewelry stores now. They just cost the same as the mined ones, because of course they do.
Moissanite is better anyways.
Say it again for the people in the back!
I've been a woman for 37 years and I have never found a boring white diamond to be appealing. It's a rock. It's a boring color. Even as a little girl being shown the first real diamond I've ever seen in person, by my materialistic mother who made quite the to-do, I couldn't understand the appeal.
When I saw the first moissanite in person? I didn't know what it was, but I couldn't stop staring at this woman's ring! It was so... I had to apologize for staring, and when I told her I didn't know why I couldn't quit staring, she told me.
"It's moissanite," she said, grinning. Apparently, this happens to her four times a day. She told me all about it and even how to spell it. I popped it in my phone.
"I've never wanted to spend a fortune on a rock before in my life but I must have one."
"That's the best part," she said. "They're synthetic. This ring cost me less than $100."
Since then I've put moissanite next to a diamond and the moissanite shines brighter, and more importantly, has a gorgeous rainbow flash. The moissanite wins every time.
And no child slaves. Amazing.
He's not making gold, he's making useful things he sells for gold. Fabricate turns an equivalent value of raw material into a crafted object, so to make 50 lbs of gold bars you'd need 50lbs of gold, but to make a piece of furniture you'd just need part of a tree and 10 minutes.
Just as a note, there's actually too much gold that exists in the Forgotten Realms. IRL humans have only mined 187,000 metric tons of gold, and 2/3 of that was mined since 1950. Without getting into the nitty gritty too much, let's just say there's not nearly enough gold for every monster to have even a small collection of coins, much less every adult dragon falling asleep on a golden pile while everyone else works just fine on a gold standard or something like it.
Is it the dwarven kingdoms out mining humanity? Is gold simply more common or perhaps available in easier, more concentrated ores?
Or are wizards adding more gold from thin air, and dragons provide a natural deflationary pressure by being obsessed with making great hoards of coins?
There's a limit to what people can afford to buy, though. "Hey I made this sweet artifact it's worth 1000gp" "Cool, I can give you uhhh...THREE chickens for it?"
So you're saying the wizards and dragons are coordinating their efforts in an attempt to keep scarcity artificially high?
I KNEW IT
Relax, they're just implementing rational monetary policy to keep the economy healthy.
Of course their version of inflation reduction involves dragons burning down a significant part of the land, but it works. Nobody is complaining about the price of groceries anyway.
Well, they are, but the town guards beat them if they try to protest.
Is it the dwarven kingdoms out mining humanity? Is gold simply more common or perhaps available in easier, more concentrated ores?
Probably a bit of both I'd imagine.
wizards need towers because they get tired of being asking if they know how to make someone's cock fall off
caleb widogast: but i am the thieves too
My Artificer wants to help people.
That's why he's building out magic-tech that can cyborgify(steampunkify?) animals.
Just because towns don't want rats equipped with eldritch cannons, flamethrowers or healing pulses isn't his fault. Its a stepping stone to putting those things on people.
And if that doesn't work your party can set up a side business saving people from rats equipped with eldritch cannons that seem to be increasingly common
Unfortunately, your Artificer has accidentally ended up with a sworn enemy: a blue were-hedgehog with a need for speed and a taste for sausage sandwiches topped with chili.
I now need to find a way to shift out the Hermit Crab that turns into his Eldritch Cannon for a mysteriously blue Hedgehog with attitude.
This is why I loved the old Stronghold Builders Guide. Give your players a base, something to care about AND something to adventure for. "Give up? And only have 7 bedrooms? I think not!"
I'm partial to the 2e Castle Guide. Aside from some minor parts that book is system agnostic which I'm a big fan of. It also talks a lot about the culture around castles and who is needed to run one
Shit that's glorious
Here's hoping Palworld spawns a BG3 spoof with a live market and politics...
As your income increases you increase your defenses. Guards, armored caravans, a bank to store your gold, a connection to the local ruler so guards respond quickly, etc.
Besides, a wizard is probably spending most of their profits and books and other spell supplies. They gotta fund that Wizard's Tower of Compensation some how.
Overcompensation, you mean. /picklerick.gif