this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2024
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I (21M) live in an Ohio household of hardcore Trumpers who, unfortunately, found out that I voted for Kamala Harris.

My father and brother are fascists. They believe in killing anyone who disagrees with Trumpism. My mother is not violent, but drank basically all the QAnon Kool-Aid and is batshit insane.

I am disabled. My cognitive ability suffers severely if I sit up or stand up for more than a few minutes. I also have another condition that requires me to avoid bending my neck, so I have to keep it straight. I also can't safely lift anything that's heavier than a few pounds, so anything more than that is very risky. I can push and pull fine.

I am also financially-dependent on my mother at the moment.

We moved to a new house recently, and the walls are very thin. That allowed me to overhear a private conversation between my father and brother.

My brother said that he hates Harris supporters so much that he wants a day of retribution where he goes on a violent rampage to kill everyone he knows who supports her, especially gay and transgender people. When my dad asked if that included me, he did not hesitate to say "Sure."

My brother is in peak physical condition. He owns guns and has military training. I had long suspected that he is the biggest potential threat to my life, but gaslighted myself into thinking I was overreacting. Today, he confirmed it.

My brother isn't the type to throw out threats of violence willy-nilly. He has also physically abused me in the past when we were younger and has major anger issues. I believe that I have to take this threat seriously, and that means that I need to evacuate ASAP. I think the most likely day for him to act is on election night or shortly after, which would give me just over a week. But then again, I can't be sure. Maybe he is planning a surprise.

My mother is too unreasonable to take any of this seriously.

I have a few thousand dollars and Democratic relatives from the South who might potentially take me in, though I don't know for sure if they will, since we're not close emotionally. I also don't know if my brother will go out of his way to target them once he notices my absence. He is going to an out-of-state Trump rally this week, so I know that he doesn't have much trouble crossing state lines.

I don't know where my birth certificate and social security card are, other than that my mother has them somewhere. My father is home the entire time and stays in one spot where he can see everything. Even if I knew where they were, there is no way for me to retrieve them without him noticing.

Fuck fascism. I was born to a family of vile abusive sociopaths. It was hell the whole time. I won't miss any of them. Fuck them. They are a disappointment to the rest of my family line. I spent my entire life learning how to become a decent human being in spite of it all and now the fuckers want me dead. FUCK. THEM.

The thing that separates me from the rest of my family is empathy. I refused to hate the people they wanted me to hate. Instead, I listened to their stories and befriended them. I care about everyone, not just straight white Christians. I voted for Harris because I wanted the best for everyone, which means preventing the installation of an authoritarian regime. And for that, I must pay the ultimate price.

I may never get to experience love or deep friendship, but no matter how this all ends, I vow to spend the rest of my days pouring out as much love and joy as I can out to every last ally I meet.

Any advice would be helpful. I don't want to wait, but I also can't do this without some kind of plan. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, so any input is appreciated.

Thank you.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Idk about the US but here in europe you can call social services and if you are serious they will send someone out to get you and at least temporarily you can stay at the relatives who dont want to harm you.

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 day ago (2 children)

If you're serious go to the police immediately and remove yourself from physical danger, deal with the rest of it later

[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Having been involved in a conversation about this sort of family dynamic with police, I wouldn't recommend it. Unless OP is in a gigantic city, he is not going to receive any help from the police that actually protects him. What will happen is the police will listen to his story, then go talk to the other parties involved to get their story.

If an officer believes him right off the bat, they can/may hold off on talking to the rest of the family and tipping them off that OP is making these claims, but even in that case OP still may be stuck in the house. They might be able to connect him to a shelter. Might. The problem is that he is male. Male domestic violence shelters are almost certainly going to be a shit-show at best, and 95% chance there isn't a shelter for males of domestic violence within any distance that the cops would help him get to.

The best bet for OP that involves cops is to follow Chonk's advice: https://links.hackliberty.org/post/3089471/5115602

Use the cops for what they are actually good at: protecting you in the exact moment they are there. Anything else is going to be a time-consuming investigation, unless the brother/father literally admit to planning to kill OP.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

Please update us!

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 day ago (11 children)

You need to come here to Australia mate.

Honestly, I feel like there are going to be a lot of refugees from the US if Trump wins

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 day ago (10 children)

I really curious how they found out that you voted for Harris. Was the party dumb enough to send you a thank you letter with blue stickers or something?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I would wager an average US mail carrier could correctly assume who a household has voted for just from the correspondences delivered during any given election season.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

That's my question too, do they not have a secret ballot in the US? If they do (and I'm pretty sure they do) my advice to OP is to deny who they voted for until they can get to safety, "was just joking about voting Harris" is a perfectly reasonable lie if your safety is threatened, the family would have no proof or way of finding out.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago (4 children)

In the US our actual vote is secret and anonymous, so it is possible to hide who you "pull the lever" for. When you vote in the primary however, (in most states) it is recorded which party's primary you choose to vote in (but again your actual vote is secret) . This is a matter of public record (don't ask me why) and campaigns use that info to target people based on their likelihood to vote for them. So if OP chose to vote in the Dem primary, their name would be on record as having participated in that Dem primary, and the local/state/national Democratic Party probably would have sent campaign materials to their address (not like thank you notes, but more like ads for Dem candidates and causes), and their family may have deduced that they had an "outsider" amongst them. Another scenario is that OP may have just been honest with them when they asked.

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

I don't know how things go in the USA but in my country if anyone was to threaten to kill me, like a real threat not some shit talk, I would call the police and they would deal with that. Even more so if I told them I have a disability of some sort and can't defend myself.

Also, you need to contact a social assistance office, or whatever you may have like that in your town/region/state, because you need to get away from them and be able to sustain yourself. A change that will most certainly take a lot of your energy and focus — one more reason to let the police deal with the death threat.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Most police forces in the US were infiltrated by fascist white supremacists long ago. It's why even in very progressive places like Seattle, the police forces are under federal supervision for racism and so many POC are murdered all the time. It's rarely worth calling them. Mostly I only report crime for insurance purposes.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

Things should work in the ways you describe. Sadly they often don't due to untold decades of lowering funding and general neglect have made the systems we have in place for our most vulnerable slow and bad enough to be worse than useless. They're actively harmful.

People who are disabled from birth or before working age are religated to a minimum assistance payment that does in no way meet the basic requirements to live in most places in the United States. Filing for that is a lengthy process that's often arbitrarily refused and requires even more time and effort put into it for (in many cases) a total payment less than the federal minimum wage monthly.

This is why you're seeing a lot of comments about OP getting moved in with family.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Unfortunately, calling police in America may put you in danger. It's one of the many, many reasons I've left. I don't think people quite understand what it does until they've lived in other, safer places.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Unfortunately, calling police in America may put you in danger. It’s one of the many, many reasons I’ve left. I don’t think people quite understand what it does until they’ve lived in other, safer places.

That is not how the system is supposed to work. I never went to the USA and probably never will (there are a lot of reasons and people that would make me want to go mind you, but there are also way too many things I'm just not OK with). So, like I said I really can't tell but if that is like you say, that's very problematic.

I mean, there must be some legal authority to call for help. Self-defence, adding violence to already too much violence, can't be the only solution a State has to offer to threatened citizens. If that was, what use would there be in such a State?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

No, it's not supposed to work like that. The biggest advice to give to foreigners is to not to talk to cops in America. I'm not afraid of asking for directions in Europe from them, but I wouldn't do the same at home. They forgot they are civil servants and are being trained on a warrior mentality. It will not end well, however it does. The other social services are there, but underfunded. It's often about catching the right ear of someone that knows the system and it's contradictions which takes time. Naturally wealthier areas and cities have more options. Ohio isn't the best place to find help, that whole state is suffering. I grew up next door in the Rust Belt.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

If you have an extended family member who is sympathetic, that is the best. Otherwise, look for somebody who is sympathetic and older with a spare room or something, if there's some task you can help them with, even better. Older people are likely to be more stable and better understand their own limitations.

If you have an ID you should be able to get a copy of birth cert and social security by applying for them, if your family messes with them they can get fraud charges. You'll need to file a change of address for disability etc. Try to work things out as possible.

The other thing you should do is see if some anarchist is willing to put an airtag or similar on your brother's truck to monitor him. This will mean if your brother does end up doing his murder spree he can easily be tied to the murder at the least.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago

Sending good vibes op. ❤️

[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 day ago
  1. Find the best person in your contacts whom you can trust and explain everything to him/her. Discuss about where you'll stay, how many others friends are there, how many people live in house (more is better). And it would be great if someone who stays with you has firearms.
  2. Call him/her to pick you from your house and tell him/her to bring cops too.
  3. Once they reach. Pack all important stuff like certificates, clothes, gadgets, etc.

I just hope that you were just high while writing this but if not then you gotta fight for your life and freedom.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago

Absolutely agree with you, but one thing to note is the existence of what's called representative payees. OP would have likely had to sign a form for it at 21, unless they were verifiably incapacitated at the time, but a rep payee is, for an intents and purposes, the beneficiary as far as the social security department is concerned.

Which is NOT to say don't leave. It just means that OP needs to contact social security the instant they are clear of danger or being overheard.

The moment you're safe, contact the SSD and ask them to verify your status as the primary on your account. If your mother (or someone else) is not the rep payee, then you're clear. If they are, you need to ask for the paperwork to transfer your benefits back to yourself, which may involve having to go through a judge. That said, keep a record of any communications between yourself and whoever the rep payee is. Ohio is a one party consent state, meaning you are legally allowed to record your phone calls as long as one party is aware and consents, namely yourself. Text based communication is easier, though.

If you are able to contact anyone (guessing you can since you're posting this) I would suggest contacting progressive organizations in your area. Women's shelters, even if you're male, may be able to help you, or direct you to someone who can help. Gay organizations often have some resources in place for teens who have disowned. The DSA, the episcopal church, the metropolitan community Church, the United Church of Christ, any Sikh, Buddhist, and often Hindu community centers are also notorious for being home to progressive members. Sadly, they likely don't have anything in place for such a rescue mission already, but they may well be a member willing to assist.

Best option is if there's an anarchist mutual aid org near you, but that's unlikely.

I wish you all the luck and success in there.

This also ended up longer than I anticipated going in, so posting it as a full comment in and of itself, too.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago

I think the best advice has been given by others.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Feel free to DM me if you need to vent, or if I can do anything to help.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The absolute state of these lunatics, november is gonna be messy for us with either candidate ugh. Call the cops, leave, start over, etc im so sorry.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It's terrifying. If you're in a position to, and don't already have one, I'm encouraging everyone on the left to get a decent gun. Cheapest option is an assault 12 gauge. These people are full on, insane fascists. Their "day of retribution" will be a lot harder to impossible if we're armed.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

I'd been trying to promote gun ownership and training among left leaning folks since early 2016. Took various friends and Facebook randoms to the range and taught them to shoot. Have had motivation issues with that project for a while though.

Cheapest option is an assault 12 gauge.

I don't think I've come across any "assault shotguns", but maybe you're referring to the "tactical" variants? They'll typically come in black rather than wooden or camo pattern, have shorter barrels, and hold more ammo when compared with hunting shotguns.

It's important to note that shotguns aren't super beginner friendly, though they're probably the most financially accessible option for home defense. One piece of advice I would give is to look up what "cheek weld" is when using a shotgun (in additional to general safety and usage info). We're also pretty late in the game here for those that are worried about election-related violence, since developing marksmanship skills takes time. Better late than never though, just try to get at least one range trip in so that you can familiarize yourself with the basics.

Not looking to turn this into a guns thread, since that wouldn't be very useful for the OP. If anyone has any questions on the subject, you could make a post in one of these communities, and I (and probably others) can give advice:

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Im not bothering to register and buy a gun for the first time this late in the game so ill take my chances. I live in california so im not that worried but its been unpleasant being around strangers the last couple of months that I feel like this charade of rat race late stage capitalism is making everyone a little more psychotic every day.

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[–] [email protected] 155 points 1 day ago (1 children)

First, you need to know, you did NOTHING wrong. Your family is the problem, NOT YOU.

Second, when you say you are "financially-dependent on my mother at the moment." it's quite likely the other way around. If you're as disabled as you say, you should be getting disability benefits, paid to YOU, not them. Likely they were collecting before you turned 18, but at 21 those benefits are YOURS, not theirs.

Third, don't sweat the birth certificate or SSN. Those are just paper and there's a process to replace them, a process you can't start if they harm you.

GTFO. Now. While you can. Take your benefits with you, cut them off and let them hang.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 day ago

Absolutely agree with you, but one thing to note is the existence of what's called representative payees. OP would have likely had to sign a form for it at 21, unless they were verifiably incapacitated at the time, but a rep payee is, for an intents and purposes, the beneficiary as far as the social security department is concerned.

Which is NOT to say don't leave. It just means that OP needs to contact social security the instant they are clear of danger or being overheard.

The moment you're safe, contact the SSD and ask them to verify your status as the primary on your account. If your mother (or someone else) is not the rep payee, then you're clear. If they are, you need to ask for the paperwork to transfer your benefits back to yourself, which may involve having to go through a judge. That said, keep a record of any communications between yourself and whoever the rep payee is. Ohio is a one party consent state, meaning you are legally allowed to record your phone calls as long as one party is aware and consents, namely yourself. Text based communication is easier, though.

If you are able to contact anyone (guessing you can since you're posting this) I would suggest contacting progressive organizations in your area. Women's shelters, even if you're male, may be able to help you, or direct you to someone who can help. Gay organizations often have some resources in place for teens who have disowned. The DSA, the episcopal church, the metropolitan community Church, the United Church of Christ, any Sikh, Buddhist, and often Hindu community centers are also notorious for being home to progressive members. Sadly, they likely don't have anything in place for such a rescue mission already, but they may well be a member willing to assist.

Best option is if there's an anarchist mutual aid org near you, but that's unlikely.

I wish you all the luck and success in there.

This also ended up longer than I anticipated going in, so posting it as a full comment in and of itself, too.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Democratic relatives from the South who might potentially take me in, though I don't know for sure if they will, since we're not close emotionally.

Make it easier for them: Ask only if you can stay for a little while. Don't tell the whole story upfront.

Once you are actually there, you can look for other options. Or maybe you become closer.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Leave now. Fuck your stuff.

  1. get a cab

  2. get a Greyhound to an area with a better outlook.

  3. look for roommates in your destination city on the ride

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago (2 children)

i wouldnt hesitate to reach out to family down south as they may be most able to legally help you. i would not call the cops, they are useless. hunt for shelter and other hotlines, ideally chats if the walls are thin!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

some counties also have "no wrong number" programs, so if you can get a call to, say, the health department, they can redirect you to better services

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 day ago

I wouldn't call the police as the others have said. That might instigate more anger and violence from your brother.

I would seek an abuse shelter first. They could provide you with the things you need and take care of you. Here's one example.

https://www.odvn.org/ohman/

[–] [email protected] 416 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

If you're as disabled as you say and either you have documentation (such as state benefits) or it's just obvious I would try APS (adult protective services) over the cops. Things will move faster and more effectively if you do some of the legwork (hypothetically speaking) for them ahead of time.

  1. Get in touch with the family that might take you in. Try to find three options who confirm they will take you. Write down or keep in a Google doc or whatever their: full names, phone numbers, email addresses, and physical addresses. The number one thing I see holding up cases like yours is housing, and if you have all those details worked out ahead of time a caseworker can do a lot more for you a lot faster. A lot of the time our psych social workers can get someone a uber / lyft or bus ticket easily enough, the problem is figuring out where they're going. If you have the contact info of someone they can call right there and then who has already agreed to take you, you are a slam dunk open and shut case. Get three so you have backups.

  2. Arrange for a ride locally such as a friend or acquaintance or literally anyone else who has a car and is willing to help you for 24-48 hours. This should not be hard to talk someone into. Many people want to help a person like you but don't have the resources to house someone for weeks or months. For this acquantaince you are an easy way to help and feel good about themselves. Use that. Tell them to wait for you to contact them. Again, try to get three options set up so you have two failsafes.

  3. AFTER you've done that, call your local APS (adult protective services) or file a report online. Do whatever you can to keep your family from knowing you called because it might take a few hours up to maybe even a day or two for them to get to you and you don't want your family tipped off in the meantime. Tell them you're being held by your family and kept from accessing your legal identifying documents like your birth certificate. If you get state benefits your documentation or papers regularly mailed to you may also have a compliance / abuse reporting hotline number somewhere on it. You could also try a crisis hotline through an organization that does community outreach. Tell them they have abused you in the past and you are in fear for your life. Tell them you HAVE A PLACE TO GO you just need help getting your documents. Again, you are easy to help in this situation, they don't need to worry about setting you up with benefits or housing or anything, just transport maybe. This is what the numbers and addresses are for, they may want to confirm you have somewhere to go and even have options. Just play up the danger and that they're keeping you from your documents. If you get an asshole worker wait six hours and try again (change of shift) or try calling a different agency or the next town over. You may also be able to find other places to call or worst case scenario call 911.

  4. The SECOND they show up and if they're able to get you those documents, get the hell out to that person who's helping you locally and block your family and do not tell or hint or give them any other indication of where you're going. Don't even tell the person giving you a ride if you think it will get back to them. If necessary tell them an entirely different final destination and just get them to get you to the airport / bus terminal and get out.

  5. while you're waiting, get all your medications, medical equipment / supplies, any valuables or sentimental items, and 3-5 changes of clothes all in the same area of the house. Make sure to pack sentimental clothing but especially pack accessible clothing that's easy for you to dress yourself with. Get them into a bag if you think you can do so discreetly, but a box or even just a pile in an out of the way corner is fine. If you have any special skin safe shampoo or other non-medicine but important toiletries stash them too or just make sure they're all in the same place in the bathroom. Get everything into 1-3 discreet / hidden piles so you just need to throw them in a trash bag and go. If there's any valuables you think your family will try to dispute ownership of, try to get any receipts or photos of you wearing or using them or texts from someone who bought them for you or whatever else you can find and put them in a Google drive folder or email to yourself. Worst case scenario though, be willing to leave some things behind if you have to.

Good luck and godspeed. :)

[–] [email protected] 128 points 1 day ago (3 children)

This is the best advice, in the best order, which I have seen laid out so far.

To which I will add:

Assuming you do have at least a valid Drivers License... it should be possible for you to attain your own copy of your Social Security card (which is not actually a card, its just paper) and Birth Certificate.

For the former, you can make an account on ssa.gov , and it is not too hard to get a Social Security card mailed to wherever you end up. Just say your old card was stolen.

As far as your Birth Certificate... theoretically it should be possible to attain a copy through some kind of State records office/website, though I'm not familiar with Ohio specifically.

Finally, when you are settled in a new safe place, if you have not already tried, apply for SSI and/or SSDI from Social Security.

Its a mountain of paperwork, takes up to a year or more, but if you can get any form of guaranteed income, that's better than 0.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 day ago

As far as your Birth Certificate... theoretically it should be possible to attain a copy through some kind of State records office/website, though I'm not familiar with Ohio specifically.

Vital Statistics

Here's the info from Ohio:

https://odh.ohio.gov/know-our-programs/vital-statistics/how-to-order-certificates

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As others have said, you really should contact the police and let them know your brother is planning to murder people.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Maybe the FBI would be a better contact in this case? I may be wrong, but to me the brothers explicit words of intention and access to guns seems very much like a threat of premeditated domestic terrorism. If that's indeed the case, here's the FBI's page with contact options near the bottom.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal/live with this OP. You deserve much better. This internet stranger is proud of you for doing all that's within your power in such a shitty situation!

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

"Family" and "relation" aren't mutually exclusive; call the cops on your brother. You can't un-radicalize him, but you can at least keep him away from you.

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