Ask Lemmy

How would people even know other peoples gender?

There are people who share their pronouns/gender, but they are pretty rare

I'm pretty sure everyone here is a cis man or trans woman, and I think the communities reflect that (noncredible defence = military memes, politics, computer nerd stuff, greentexts, anime nerd stuff), and tbh I can't imagine any of the cis women in my life being interested in anything on lemmy

Why not make a new account with a femme sounding username and see? Don’t pretend you need help with a bra or anything, just interact with lemmy while “labeled” a woman.

I have a more masculine username and a more feminine username (both seem like spins on given names, think UrArthUr and Bekky), and there is a difference in how I’m perceived, or at least how people respond to me. It’s not huge, and I’m afab irl, so I’m also not surprised- I don’t think I’ve ever been somewhere where people can freely interact and it had no effect (or at least not since I grew tits).

Using people's PPs still matters. Especially if you're talking about a user who clearly puts them in their display name. If someone with she/her pronouns is replied to by someone referring to them as him and he, that's a dick move.

on lemmy world? Not terribly much. On blahaj zone? Probably a bit more.

Matters so much more than most people admit.

Depends on context, as always. A user sharing a story on social interaction, gender may be quite important to how they experienced it and how others perceive it. I.e., a post the other day asking about worst dates and the average worst date for men was a woman on coke or a no show. The average worst date for women was about getting sexually assaulted or raped.

Men are victims of those things too and can face different repercussions when they try to pursue help. Understanding their experiences within the context of them being men is also important.

Stripping gender from these stories only obfuscates some of the problems.

It doesn't. What they say is what matters. Not whose saying it. Gender is irrelevant unless I'm going to date them or we're about to lift heavy things.

It matters when looking at NSFW channels.

It doesn't really matter, anyone can use Lemmy, regardless of gender identity or orientation. Some instances and communities are better suited for specific groups than others but for the most part we're all people.

I'd say zero because I don't give a single fuck what anyone is. I hardly believe you aren't bots lol

That said if the specific thread is asking for the specific opinion or experience of someone of a particular sort, then genuine replies are valuable for the purpose of that conversation

I'll disagree with most of this thread and say it somewhat does, because your views and biases are heavily influenced by your gender. So if genders are all the same, you're just going to have a circlejerk. Is there something we should do about it? No, but I feel recognizing that it plays a big factor in a community is important.

Lemmy is definitely a more male space than I think even reddit was, and that does affect the tone of certain conversations. It really is a whiplash coming here from Mastodon sometimes and seeing a very different vibe.

Although I block a lot of content because of depression...I don't care at all. I care for honest participation and positive intention if that makes any sense, no matter who you are...many folks impress me on the fediverse and I strive to be better like them.

zero

Zero percent.

I'm pretty skeptical so, I’m not sure I’d believe everyone even if they told me.

It is very much context dependant. People want to say it does not matter, and in our default context, it theoretically does not. There are certain contexts where use of outdated patriarchal norms of the past will garner a response. In a sense it must matter that it does not matter.

My mind is drawn to the old adage, "hate is not the opposite of love; indifference is. For to hate is to still care in common with those that love."

If you use gender incorrectly here, or, in a broader context, act like an ass about gender you are likely to garner a reaction.

There was a post here in the last few weeks about someone on reddit that posted about a guy giving his partner an old iPod or some device like that as part of a birthday gift with other things, and getting eviscerated for the idea. Then after reversing the gender roles, under the same premise, the opposite reaction was the outcome. I don't think we are the same demographic here, but I also imagine we might display a similar objective bias in honest and objective aggregate.

So does it matter here, IMO, we'd like to think it does not, but we are biased like any group. We are generally aware and appreciative of our diverse community members and tend to prefer gender neutrality when possible, like assuming they/them is generally good decorum and practiced here. When an anthropomorphic gender assignment is appropriate, the cool kids default female.

At least that is the lay of the land abstracted as I see it when one speaks the unspeakable.

I’m male, hetero, and cis, too. I know there will be some things I’ll never fully understand because of that.

I try to keep things gender neutral (they, y’all). I know I’ll be wrong sometimes. When I’m corrected, I apologize and make sure I don’t repeat the mistake. There will be rare occasions where that’s not good enough for someone, but I look at that as more their issue than mine. I’m being sincere, and doing the best I can.

Identity in general doesn't matter much on forums (as opposed to microblogs, like Twitter or Mastodon). Forums are focused on topics rather than people, and what is said is generally more important than who says it.

In the context of the internet at large seeming to believe every user is male? I'd say that's still standard practice here even if it's not as prevalent an assumption as on other social media. How much that matters though is subjective.

I don't really think it matters. I can only think of trans leftists, but I think the trans leftists would be leftist whether they are trans or not.

You can’t really generalize. It matters as much as the person you’re talking to or about thinks it matters.

If they don’t care; fine. But most people want to be properly gendered.

In most discussions here it’s not really relevant or important but it’s simple enough to use gender neutral pronouns when someone’s gender is unknown

I'm not quite grasping the context you're asking the question, but I will say gender matters on Lemmy in the sense that I want full representation from all genders (and non-gender folk). The value of conversation here is derived from the many viewpoints that each of us bring. Without full representation, we'll be missing valuable inside and perspective if a specific gender (or non-gender) is missing.

Far less than on Reddit, but it still affects someone's experiences. e.g. just bc someone does not experience something daily does not mean that it never happens, but often a person in a minority status group has no choice to ignore such, while the privileged status person can.

Definitely does not matter. The only thing that matters is, if you behave like an asshole or not.

Doesn't matter at all. A person is a person.