This is fake!

If it was real, the "Nevermind" button would be a "Maybe later" button instead...

My employer generally sucks, but one of the few things they do right is give us no-questions-asked PTO. Nobody cares if we take a day, it's part of our compensation.

I once had my employer perform a wellness check when I was having a mental health episode.

I was working remotely, but my mental health was in the toilet. I had a candid conversation with my supervisor where I told him I needed some time off because I had been feeling suicidal. He was an absolute bro, told me I was doing a good job, and that I earned some time off. He agreed that our conditions and the demands from management were absurd. He tells me to just take some time, and he'll clear the way with HR.

Well, I'm logging off my computer when I get a call from his boss. He's asking why I'm suddenly taking some time off. I tell him that I haven't been feeling well, but he keeps badgering me for a specific reason. I tell him that I'm very vulnerable and don't want to disclose a reason. That's between me and my doctor.

Well he keeps pressing and he tells me that, "sharing our vulnerabilities is what fosters trust." So I'm like fine, you really want to know, this job and your management style are making me suicidal.

Tone immediately shifts. He's going into full damage control cover-your-ass mode. He tells me that I should consider a different career if I'm not up to the task. I'm already having like the worst day of my life (so far) and I start to have a panic attack.

I tell him you know what, it's not his business and I'm going to call my doctor. Before I can get on the phone with my doctor, HR is calling me. They tell me they have to get hold of my emergency contact to make sure I'm not currently killing myself. I tell them my emergency contact is out of town (unrelated), so they say they have to call the police. I ask her not to, there's no risk to myself and things have been taken out of context. HR insists that it's company policy.

So while I'm hyperventilating because my boss pressed me for more details than I was comfortable sharing about my health, they sent a man with a gun to my house to check on me.

I understand that the company is protecting its liability or whatever. But I really felt that my rights had been violated somehow. The police are not suitable to intervene in a mental health episode. I had a new fear that I wouldn't be able to calm down when the police arrived and I'd end up shot or something.

TLDR - I know this post is fake, but companies really do feel like they own their employees. A wellness check from your employer is absolutely bullshit, but that won't stop them from trying.

im too sick to answer the door, come back another day

Nice joke until reality comes along: https://winfuture.de/news,145540.html

German article translates to:

The Tesla plant in Grünheide had to accept a record number of sick days, at least in August: Around 17 percent of the 12,000 employees were affected. At the beginning of September, the figure had fallen to around 11 percent, according to a report in the Handelsblatt newspaper. However, this is still comparatively high.

As a result, the plant management had begun to visit employees on sick leave at home and check on them. Head of HR Erik Demmler was surprised that he was sometimes met with an aggressive attitude, as he explained to Handelsblatt. It had happened that the door had simply been slammed in his face. There were even instances of people threatening to call the police.

Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

this is funny and reminds me that when you call in sick

just say you are calling in sick, don't give any reasons. Fuck them they don't need to know why

sometimes mental health days where you just chill and do shit you want to do is a perfectly good sick day

Standing too close to occurring in the near future to qualify as funny.

Please tell me this is a joke. I legitimately don't know if it is or isn't.