this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2024
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I'm doing the driving lessons and I dread them every time. I don't feel like I'm improving much and it's just stressful. I feel like giving up. I'm only going because I passed the theory exam with that school, and i would had to spend more money (that I don't have) if I start again with other school, basically I'm too deep into it to stop.

Btw I now understand the hate towards manual cars. Automatic should be the only option, one less BIG distraction on the road, especially when you're new on these things, being too soft or too rough on the clutch is a matter of millimeters is ridiculous, watching the road, the signs, the traffic lights, the cars around you, the stupid people with their bikes, while fumbling in the car with the pedals is the worst... (unfortunately you must learn manual where I'm living).

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

It took me a year worth of lessons every week and constant practice, and I passed. I'm a pretty decent driver now. Manual is better because it doesn't change gear when I don't ask it to. Here you can pass a driving test with an automatic, but if you do, you're not licenced to drive a manual

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Yep! In my experience it's awful and it stays awful for ever.

But just like with going to work, over time you come to accept that existence is suffering.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I taught my older daughter to drive a manual car and I really wish I had a reasonable manual car to teach my younger daughter. She will learn, but it will be like driving a tank. Not the most fun.

Your hate towards manual transmissions is exactly why it's now an anti-theft device. If the thieves don't show to drive it, it won't be stolen.

My oldest daughter is trying to buy a manual transmission car now. It's very hard to find...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I was very daunted by driving when I started, especially when I had to drive a really old clunky low-power diesel Mercedes with my overly critical dad and big brother yelling at me.

Didn't take long for it to become second nature, and I actually drove taxis for several years.

It literally just takes a while for your brain to get accustomed to everything. Yes, youre right in that a manual can be a distraction from learning traffic, but it really doesn't take long for the shifting to become very natural, and then you can pay attention to the traffic.

As for actual tips on the clutch, it's not really as much a matter of millimeters, as it is about the balance between throttle and clutch. Don't be afraid to give it a bit more gas to makeita sure you won't stop the car even if you let go of the clutch slower. Yes it will sound a bit like a student driver, revving the car "needlessly", but you are a student driver and it isn't needless revving, because you're still learning the feel for the clutch.

It also depend a lot on the make and model of the car the school has. It's a bit of a personal preference, but clutches are really different in different cars. You might really like a 90's Mercedes with a reeaally long clutch, but that too takes getting a bit used to. I remember the cars my car school had were fairly new Ford's, and they had really short clutches. Annoyed me as well.

Honestly took me less than a year of driving and I knew how to shift without a clutch. Some really old 70's sand lorries my dad used to drive didn't have clutches, so he taught me how to (in some cars it works some don't really like it, but basically you could do it in all manual cars, without damaging the gearbox if you do it properly); when accelerating, just as you let go of the throttle, like 0.5sec after that there's a short period where you can just pull the gear to neutral without any resistance. That's easy. Shifting into gear from neutral without clutch isn't as easy, but in some cars, not much of a challenge. You need to rev the engine to match the rpm, but like with a short press of the gas pedal, which revs the rpm higher than it needs to, then when the rpm is coming down there's a window where you can shift into gear really easily.

I ramble, you don't need to thin about that.

I would suggest, if possible (idk if you have a learners permit or smth and can drive under parent supervision), to practice driving on highways and country roads for less traffic to learn the car better. If not, maybe ask your teacher on the next lesson if you could do that.

And if not, if you have to drive in the city, the most important is just to remember that the panic and rudeness you feel isn't something which should make you hurry. People will be annoyed, but you have a right to annoy them, as you're learning. It's a shit thing, being a learning driver, but once you get your licence and get to take the car on a long drive yourself on some chill roads, you might actually enjoy the driving because the stress won't be there. And then learning will become easier as well, when your heart isn't beating through your chest with someone watching over you.

Just keep at it. You know what to do. Now it's just a bit of repetition.

Edit oh and ask anything if you like, 3rd gen taxi driver, drove since 2007 (not driving currently). No stupid questions exist. So anything at all, go ahead.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Practice your manual driving in a big open parking lot or something. Somewhere you don't have to worry about rules of the road while still figuring out your muscle memory for shifting. Like everything else, it'll become second nature in time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

My two cents: don't look at anything inside that car at all. Listen to the engine to know when to shift, go a speed that feels comfortable and is a bit slower than other cars. Forgive yourself when the engine stalls or you drive in the 'wrong' gear for a bit. If you got behind the wheel and didn't hit anything, you're won driving.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

To make driving more appealing, I suggest living in an unwalkable American Midwest purgatory where there's fuck-all to do but watch tractors circle fields or meth

You will begin to associate the positive emotions of escape and freedom with driving, which will make you enjoy it a lot more

Your mileage may vary, but it worked great for me

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

It gets easy, manual is better because I'm more focused on everything. It doesn't take that long to learn.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

It really depends. You need to train yourself to focus on the important stuff and let the rest become second nature.

Driving a manual car usually doesn't take conscious effort to do, you just.. drive. But that takes practice. Lots of it.

And some people just never get there. Or they are afraid to drive, which tends to provoke dangerous situations. Or they can drive okay but don't pay enough attention to the road.

But usually driving with an instructor is stressful, once you get your license everything will be more relaxed and easier.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I bus to work, it takes only five minutes more than me driving, and is only five dollars a day, and I get to read or listen to podcasts or whatever and not think about traffic or bad drivers. The only downside is obnoxious passengers on occasion and people who smell bad. I don't love driving at all.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

I hate driving, it's stressful to be operating heavy machinery with the capacity to kill. That said, driving a manual car is much worse, just adds a lot of stress on top

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

FUCK NO. I hated driving lessons, but I love driving ever since I got my license. It took me almost a decade to figure out why. First, I hate other people telling me where to go. GPS, no problem, but Kevin over here telling me to take a left 1 second before I'm past the intersection iterates me so much. I can't concentrate on signs or the road if I have to constantly anticipate so arbitrary direction.

Also, not driving my own car makes me anxious. It feels like the car is 2 ft wider on the outside but more cramped on the inside. My field of view narrows, and I get clumsy on the clutch. All because my brain is on a constant loop of 'this isn't mine, don't wreck it, this isn't mine, don't wreck it'.

Driving isn't stressful, doing it by the book is. On the road you just go with the flow. If you turn the wrong way into a one way street, you wave, say sorry and back out again. If you take somebodies right of way and nothing bad happened then you just move on. Its not like the police is waiting around every corner. Driving lessons hold you to a way higher standard then most people adhere to on the road.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

I sometimes wish I still had a manual transmission for more interaction in the driving experience, but they’ve been difficult to find here for the last couple decades. I did finally give up as I realized manual transmissions are no longer relevant for newer car technologies.

However to add to everyone’s comments about time and practice …. I have two teens who recently got their driving licenses. Both were technically fine but inexperienced and nervous after they got their licenses. However one has been driving to school every day for the last year, and already drives like any adult. A drivers license s just the beginning of learning to drive with you as the sole person responsible. It may seem overwhelming but you can gain confidence and experience faster than you expect. Just keep at it, do your best, learn from mistakes (as in do better, dont just criticize yourself)

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It becomes easy with practice, and driving a manual is not distracting at all once you get the hang of it

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I think the roads would be safer everybody drove a manual. It makes it harder for drivers to do other things and be distracted.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

“Operating death machine is safer if it’s more difficult” is definitely a take

I have a car that’s both auto and manual and I use them both but I cannot agree with that.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Not really, most people here in Germany drive a manual and it doesn't stop them from using their phone while driving

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 weeks ago

Skill issue

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't have much experience with manual, but I do have severe ADHD. From my experience, it takes about 6 months of driving every day before your brain does most of it automatically. It is really awful at first having to constantly think about every step. Couple random anecdotes that may help. My assumption is you are driving on the right:

  1. Drive barefoot or with minimalist shoes. You can really feel the car and road this way. Flip flops are a no no. All it took was them getting caught in the pedal once to never do it again.
  2. Leave lots of space in front of you in high traffic situations. If you are sitting in the far right/exit/slow lane a lot it will help other drivers get around you. If it is a mulilane highway, it may be safer to stay in the middle lane until it is time to exit.
  3. Look left first. Oncoming traffic hitting your driver side door is bad.
  4. If you ever ever doubt when looking both ways, just look again. People can wait.
  5. People get mad or do stupid shit. It is ok. We stop being rational people once "time" enters the equation. At some point, getting mad at other drivers all the time makes you a worse driver. Learn to just let shit go.
  6. Try to space yourself where you don't create blindspots for yourself or others.
  7. Position your side mirrors properly. If you can easily see you car door, they are pointing in too far.

Adjust your seat and steering wheel. You want the steering wheel far away from your face. If you have an adjustable steering wheel, this will be a lot easier. There is a little lever you can pull to unlock it.

  1. Unlatch the wheel and push it completely away from you.
  2. Adjust your seat first so you can reach the pedals and feel in control of run. Test how it feels to push the brake, clutch, etc.
  3. Now, adjust the steering wheel. Put your arms straight out. You want your wrists to touch the "10&2" position of the wheel.
  4. Keep the steering wheel as low as you can, but still see the instruments, and make sure there is plenty of space between you and the very deadly airbag. You do not want it hitting your face and it needs enough space to deploy to properly protect you
  5. Make final adjustments as needed and recheck your mirrors.
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Completely agreed, with the exception of 10 and 2. 9 and 3 superiority

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Ah, so I really did mean the 10 & 2 for figuring out that positioning of the seat/wheel only. I absolutely agree that 10&2 is a terrible position for driving. 9&3 is much better.

I read an article a while back on how to position the wheel, as it is especially a problem for women. Airbags can absolutely kill you and I spent some time readjusting everything to make sure the airbag would not deploy in my face or too close to my chest. Adjusting the seatbelt height thing is also really important, but with breasts the damn thing still drifts to where it shouldn't. Just not as bad.

Absolutely check with the women in your life about this as a lot of us don't think about it until we get in an accident and the airbag and seatbelt do more damage than the crash. I am lucky I have only had a minor crash once with no airbag deployed. There are ways to get pedals adjusted by the dealership or swapped with longer ones. I assume mechanics can probably do it too, but I personally do not know how that all works.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Driving manual takes BOTH Theory and Practice.

  1. Replay potential scenarios in your head and try to predict how you will react.

  2. Re-examine your realtime reactions on the road.

  3. Learn both rules of the road and real-life motorists reactions to rules.

  4. Safety - Safety - Safety. If it feels unsafe, get off the road safely and wait it out.

Manual driving tips.

Use the emergency-parking-hand-brake for hill-assists.

Practice dual-brake-accelerator press/release.

Practice clutch-release-hold with no brake-accelerator ( fully depressed clutch, quarter-release, half-release, no-clutch .... does the vehicle jump forward, at what point does it start creeping forward, what noise is the engine making, how does the gear-stick/shaft feel smooth or vibrating or extremely-stuck, etc etc )

Practice a reliable gear-stick-shift-shaft action. Turn your wrist outward and push horizontal, and up for 1st-gear. Neutral with a downward wrist and wiggle along the central neutral line. Turn wrist upward and firmly push straight forward for 3rd-gear, and tap gear-knob down and wiggle along central neutral line to confirm gear-stick is in the neutral, etc etc.

So by judging how traffic behaves and by establishing clear personal good gear/manual habits, you can improve your reactions.

Look forward of the vehicle for less than 10 meters ( 30 feet ) and drive below 60 kmph ( 40 mph ) if you can't smoothly handle the manual transmission. Increase by 5 feet look distance as you get more comfortable over several months.

Don't drive in traffic, park if you feel unsafe without causing problems.

Avoid steep shopping mall parking lots and narrow spaces until you are comfortable handling the manual vehicle.

Add wing mirrors and antenna at the edges of the vehicle corners to help visually identify the area around the vehicle.

Best of Luck and Have Fun once you are good at it. If after 2 years you aren't getting any results, then manual may not be the best choice for you and you may need to give it up. Automatic transmissions are now making amazing progress and reliability.

No shame driving automatic transmission vehicles.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

The most important skill for driving is learning to observe your surroundings calmly, but alertly. The things you mentioned as distractions are the things you need to be paying attention to because those are the things you must navigate around.

It's easy to get worked up about all the things demanding your attention. A lot can go wrong while driving, from road hazards, to accidents, to traffic, to mechanical problems with your vehicle. My advice, take it at your own pace. It's a speed limit, not a speed requirement. Highways and some types of special roads have minimum speeds, but the worst that happens if you drive slow enough to feel comfortable behind the wheel is some asshole who is in a hurry is grumpy.

It just takes time and practice, just relax and keep your eyes on the road.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, I did driving lessons once and realised it was too late for me to start learning driving.
So I decided to be the stupid people with their bicycle and I'm much happier.

I feel much more in control when I am the motor and tend to get much better reaction times. On top of that, the lack of vision blocking, making it easier on my low situational awareness.

It's way cheaper too.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's never too late to learn. Of course, I'm not saying you must learn, but if it is something you want to do, it's absolutely never too late.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

It becomes increasingly difficult to add a subconscious actions with age. And I didn't consider it worth the effort.

I could still drive on a highway with low traffic. And I have never seen an automatic transmission yet.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Btw I now understand the hate towards manual cars. Automatic should be the only option

This is a big problem with people these days. You admitted you suck at driving, you're just barely learning how to do it, but you think you're qualified to mandate what is available to everyone else? You do not have enough experience to have an opinion that affects other people. Stick shift is completely intuitive when you know how to do it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Not OP, not a bad driver, have a class A (used to drive a school bus), and can drive stick.

I still think automatic is safer just on the merit of being less to think about. Especially when you have an extra large vehicle filled with kids.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

See this is so alien to me because I've been exclusively driving a manual my entire adult life and I don't think about it. No more than I think about which pedal is the gas, which is the brake, and which direction the car goes when I turn the wheel this way. I just drive.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I taught my kids to drive using an automatic transmission, then once they were good at handling traffic, and all the more difficult parts of driving I let whoever wanted to learn to drive my stick shift. But I personally feel safer, not less safe, when I have to pay attention to operating the car, and as things stand now, think it makes me a better driver - that may not matter once cars are more advanced but for now, with driver-operated cars, stick shift is the right level of engagement for me to not get distracted. I do hate shifting motorcycles though, because I am not as familiar with it and it makes me feel less safe. Which is how I imagine OP feels.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I can't imagine not shifting a motorcycle. It's like being part of the bike. But I've ridden for 30+ years.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, it's definitely an inexperience/lack of skill problem on my part. I know that because of how much I love manual shift cars. Anything with two wheels I am just trying to keep upright and point it in the right direction.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Riding a motorcycle has always been pretty intuitive to me, but I grew up glued to my bicycle, so it all clicked pretty fast once I learned how to manage the extra weight.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

The thinking involved in driving a manual is very minimal once you get used to it, so I reckon any safety issues caused by that would be outweighed by a reduction in the unfortunately common situation of unintended acceleration crashes. You are lot less likely to drive through the nearest wall (or kids) if your instinctual reaction to moving when you should not be is to also go for the clutch and cut power instead of just pressing harder on the wrong pedal.

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