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The Apple mouse comes with some weird pads. They’re meant to work OK with a certain amount of friction on a wide variety of surfaces. However as you’ve found they suck on a mouse pad.
Replace the Apple pads with some made from teflon and you’ll be good.
Only Apple could make a mouse that doesn't work on mouse pads
It works just fine if you use it on the $100 Apple mousepad.
Mmmmm yes, what you need is an air hockey table as a mouse pad
Apple used to be so good at textures. Used to be better at design overall.
Teflon tape on the underside!
apply a thin coat of silicone spray
Are you dual wielding mice, my man? Why do you need two? I know it doesn't matter for your question, but I'm genuinely curious what the use case is.
Probably 2 computers at the same desk.
Check there isn't a plastic layer coating the skates (never used an apple mouse but it's common on other brands, they're usually blue to make them visible, but if they're transparent they can be hard to see)
Trackballs are glorious, just saying.
Downside is you have to polish your ball once a while
"Downside"
I've never had to manually do that. I use almost exclusively Kensington Orbits and have for around twenty years. Maybe my hands are either clean or dirty enough that the balls are being polished by use.
That said, while I would say "have to" is strong wording, it's still probably a good idea to polish your balls, innuendo or not.
Lube?
Sounds like you need replacement skates:
Mouse Feet Mouse Skates for Apple Magic Mouse 1&2 Generation (Pack of 2) (for Apple Magic Mouse 1st)