this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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I prefer web over app. I tried a site which was said to be free. signup was fine so i started to use the site only to realise to see my matches or start chats i had to pay for a "premium" account or something. that really annoys me and it's a waste of my time so does anyone know any good dating sites which are actually free, as in i don't have to pay to use the site for what it should be used for? thx in advance ๐Ÿ‘

oh and I'm looking for men, forgot to specify lol

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[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

I'm sure there are some out there. But they won't be any good.

Tinder, Hinge, Bumble. That's what people are on. Maybe there is something else popular in your area - ask your friends. If you try to go somewhere else (unless you are trying to fit a specific niche like being gay or kinky or a farmer) then you will miss out on most of the online dating market. And spoiler: it will be the good part you are missing out on. The guys you want to match with aren't making accounts on "random dating app lolz", because there is no one there so it is a waste of time.

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

As someone who used them for over a decade before giving up, I can assure you that dating websites are a complete and utter waste of time. You can't even get a conversation started, let alone a date.

I highly recommend you do it the natural way: if you see someone you like, ask them out. You are a woman so this is extremely easy for you. Most men can't even say "hi" to a woman in public, because there are so many shitty men out there harassing women that the good guys don't even get a chance. So we're often afraid to say anything because we don't want women to assume that we're one of them.You don't have this problem, so ask away. You'd be surprised by how easily guys will say "yes".

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

Meetup.com

I know, I know, but really, itโ€™s better than any actual dating app.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

I never gave HER a dime but it was the platform I met my eventual wife on. However unless you're looking to meet other ladies, it's probably not the app for you.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I tried HER years ago and left unimpressed. I found my partner of 5yrs on OkCupid though

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

OkCupid is a dead/dying site. It sounds like you specifically got off it just as it started its decline.

It's probably not any worse than Tinder though. On account of match.com buying both...

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

I met my wife on OK cupid. 8 years ago though.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

At the time, OkC was more for people seeking relationships. I did hear they took all the good features out of it though. I had used Tinder for 5-6 years prior to that without any luck because it's only for unicorns and people looking for a fling. Not sure how it is nowadays

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Yeah I should've specified I'm after guys lol I'll edit my description

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I once had a date with a pole dancer off Her. I never mention it, constantly.

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

Dating sites are there to make money off of desperation. Matches are intentionally superficial or completely off base. They won't give away a product that you are willing to pay for. Because then they lost two customers.

[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Im a 40m divorcee and I am absolutely out of my depth thinking about dating.

I have looked at the apps and sites and they never go anywhere for me. No matches or conversations that go no where.

I sort of think that meeting someone will happen when it happens, but I really miss that excitement of learning all about someone and talking all night.

Im also interested in meeting someone outside of my country, because Id love to experience something new, but that makes me look like a scammer.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

May the chances be in your favor, brother. ๐Ÿค

[โ€“] [email protected] -3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I hate to say this but there are still interesting people on Reddit.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I like OK Cupid. It works perfectly without paying and matches are better as they are based on questions you answer and profiles contain more info. So it's less evaluating lifestock like Tinder.

There's also Bumble, it used to be that the woman needs to start talking when matched within 24h otherwise the match disappears. This is so women won't get spammed by loads of men. I heard they would change it, but I'm not sure if they actually did. It works fine without paying.

There's Boo, which I think is mostly for autistic and introvert people. Works fine with the free version.

There's Feeld, which works great without paying. The focus is mainly on sex, not so much relationship material imo.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Bumble did chenge that. Now the woman decides who has to start the convo once they match. You can also set some prompts for the other person to reply to.

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

OKC is basically 90% bots now. I have 100+ likes. None are from my area or even my country.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Do the bots at least use AI to chat? Because that's going to be better than the one word answers I get from the real people.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Ok Cupid used to be kind that, but they completely butchered the question part of it, in my opinion it is no longer useful. Also as a white cis male you get spammed there by literally hundreds of accounts from the Philippines. Makes the whole thing useless in my opinion

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Yeah that's true. About 60% of the women I see are from Asia / Africa / South America.

I wish they would disable the custom location feature to solve this clutter.

I live in The Netherlands, there are enough people here on the app to make it worth while. It's how I met my new partner.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

I live in The Netherlands, there are enough people here on the app to make it worth while. Itโ€™s how I met my new partner.

Congrats btw

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I wish they would disable the custom location feature to solve this clutter.

It's REALLY useful for travelling/migration. I made a penpal/IRL friend through there using this very feature. They should deal with it by reports and etc.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Yeah, that's how I met my current partner. She lives in Portugal but had her location in my city. It does have benefits, but it also extremely clutters the app with gold diggers from the other side of the globe.

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

There's Boo, which I think is mostly for autistic and introvert people. Works fine with the free version.

Oooo... I'm gonna have to try this one.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm not a big fan though. It's also a sort of social media. There are many people on there from Asia and Africa, cluttering the user base.

I had 3 matches which ended in extended conversations, but in all 3 cases (don't know if it's coincidence) they were trying to cheat on their partner. I'm poly, I don't mind sharing, but cheating on someone is not going to happen with me.

About poly, OK Cupid has the option to say you're monogamous, polyamorous (with account links possible) or open to either. So it's a great app for finding poly people or focus on mono people without matching with the poly ones (saves a conversation)

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Yeah... I have been on there since making that comment and just looking in a 40 mile radius, a majority of the profiles I am seeing are unvaccinated red hats. ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ

The idea is still nice, but... You're still at the mercy of who is actually near enough to meet. And I live in dumbfuckville.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Does make you stand out from the crowd if you're not that though

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Sorry to say, but there's no app available which creates better people in your town haha

Maybe move to a city?

OK Cupid has the option to set your location manually. You can check somewhere else if there's someone nice. I hate this option, it clutters the app with Asian and African women wanting to meet someone abroad. But it may be nice for you to get better results.

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