Jesus came, broke my fridge, and didn’t even leave a note. Asshole.
this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024
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Imagine if what qualified to get raptured were believing in it. The world would be so much better without all those people!
I'm glad it didn't happen because I got to pet a cat while the world was supposed to be ending.
I MISSED IT!?
No, they neglected to put the first part of the year, it's happening in 2124.
Whew ok..... Just 100 more years and I can learn to rap
HAPP EN
The miracle of prophecy is not related to the miracle of proper kerning.
The kerning looks okay - it's the font that's weird.
I think the Rapture was going to be happy before it was to happen.
The rapture probably did happen but nobody on earth was worthy.
WTF! I missed it? Did every single Jehovah's witness drink the juice so they could fly into the spaceship or what? Postponed?
Fun fact: Jehovah's witnesses think only 144,000 men go to heaven and then all the good JWs get new bodies on Earth.
Funner fact. The Jehovah's Witnesses calculated that the year would be 1844, and someone did start a religion that year claiming to be the return, but that was in Persia, so they didn't know. They decided they must have miscalculated, and recalculated the date multiple times until 1900 at which point they basically just said, "he's late." They were literally started to look for the return of Christ, and because it didn't happen exactly the way they thought it should, they gave up and claimed that God must be wrong.
I have fun with JWs when they come to my door.
I'm afraid you're thinking of Seventh Day Adventists, who were the result of the 1844 Great Disappointment of the Millerite movement after the predicted apocalypse didn't happen.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Disappointment
Now here's the truly weird part:
Members of the Baháʼí Faith believe that Miller's interpretation of signs and dates of the coming of Jesus were, for the most part, correct.[39] They believe that the fulfillment of biblical prophecies of the coming of Christ came through a forerunner of their own religion, the Báb, who declared that he was the "Promised One" on May 23, 1844, and began openly teaching in Persia in October 1844.[40][41] Several Baháʼí books and pamphlets make mention of the Millerites, the prophecies used by Miller and the Great Disappointment, most notably Baháʼí follower William Sears' Thief in the Night.[42][43][44]
It was noted that the year AD 1844 was also the Year AH 1260. Sears tied Daniel's prophecies in with the Book of Revelation in the New Testament in support of Baháʼí teaching, interpreting the year 1260 as the "times, time and half a time" of Daniel 7:25 (3 and 1/2 years = 42 months = 1,260 days). Using the same day-year principle as did William Miller, Sears decoded these texts into the year AH 1260, or 1844.[42]
It is believed by Baháʼís that if William Miller had known the year 1844 was also the year AH 1260, then he may have considered that there were other signs to look for. The Baháʼí interpretation of chapters 11 and 12 of the Book of Revelation, together with the predictions of Daniel, were explained by 'Abdu'l-Bahá, the son of the founder of the Baháʼí Faith, to Laura Clifford Barney and published in 1908 in Chapters 10, 11 and 13 of "Some Answered Questions". The explanation provided in Chapter 10 draws on the same biblical verses that William Miller used, and comes to the same conclusion about the year in which to expect the 'cleansing of the sanctuary' which was interpreted by 'Abdu'l-Bahá to be the 'dawn' of a new 'Revelation' – AD 1844.[citation needed]
The two are interrelated. Charles Taze Russel (founder of what is now called the Jehovah's Witnesses) was associated with the Millerites. Lots of their doctrine was copied from the 7th Day Adventists, including the numerology of the timeline that gets them to 1914 as "the" year. That one was supposed to be just a step along the way, but after WWI happened, it was a lot of pointing and saying "see, we predicted something big would happen".
I'm thoroughly impressed. Not many know about The Baha'is.
Thanks for the clarification on the 7th Day Adventists
FWIW, you're not totally off. There's a direct link between JWs and Adventists, though JWs don't like to admit it.
Shit! I had it all wrong! Okay but now that the rapture is over and not gonna happen anymore, then maybe everyone can go back to their regularly scheduled Friday?
ah fuck i missed the rapture again. guys how was it?
Kind of boring actually.
I would get letters from my grandma - long, winding beseeching me to come to the Lord or whatever, with often a specific date predicted in the near future of the end times. I never kept them because I was embarrassed. She was lonely and mentally ill, and probably trying to manipulate people into visiting her, but she also believed the shit she was saying, even though it kept changing, IMO.
I think that's a little bit of what is going on with these signs
According to their own book, no man will know the day or the hour IIRC. So anyone who says they know, at all, is by default wrong, and you can guarantee that it won't happen at that time.
The ~~Jehovah's Witnesses~~ 7th Day Adventists figured out that it was supposed to happen in 1844. According to The Baha'is, they were right but wrong at the same time.
It's currently September 19th
Dude, you're already part god. You don't get to be raptured.
I also don't want to go to work
Good news: you don't have to! You may end up losing your job and eating out of a dumpster, but you don't have to.
wordington rapture
Oh come on! I was gonna get a haircut today.
He's got the wrong date.
To quote late musician Peter Steele:
April 2029, the final time The end my friends is not near, the hour in fact is quite here ... It's a Friday 13th of course you won't live, to see noon. ... Are you paranoid what's on the asteroid has got your name tattooed on it? This stone's called Apophis And it brings apocalypse.
There were 666 likes to this post. I ruined it by turning it to 667!
Do we need any more proof that the rapture is over and we missed it?
Shit, I missed it.
Shouldn't have taken that nap.
I think the rapture happened a decade ago and this is hell
Everyone is a sinner. Especially the religious types.
Purgatory.
Oh please yes!
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