I HATE apps that you installed to get legit notifications, say a doorbell camera, and they use it to push ads to you, or "premium" features. guess I'm not buying your brand anymore, bitch.
this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
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my phone is only allowed to send me notifications if it's:
-
a human attempting to contact me
-
weather
and only allowed make a sound if
-
i'm watching a YouTube video
-
i'm expecting a call
then i get into my mum's car and her phone connected to Bluetooth reads out her spam email through the car speakers- 😐
Pfft, apps have to earn notifications. Do you want any notifications from a grocery app? Unless it could check the stock of my local grocery store and let me know if an unpurchased item becomes out of stock or if I can share it with a roomate and they add things to it. But even then, how much does that really matter?
Second to this: an app has to earn social media status, or social media levels of engagement.
I'm looking at you, Venmo. No, sharing my spending details with other people online, is not a good idea. Ever. Conspicuous consumption is a social blight already, and you dare taint my phone by suggesting I lean into it? Do better.
This is why we need better resource/battery management services with Magisk or Xposed integration. On my phone the Rom has one integrated already, lets you set apps to be prevented from running in the background completely, preventing tracking, annoying notifications, and battery usage. Though unfortunately these types of tools aren't available on all roms, and they really need root or system access to be effective.
If you want the actual reason, this is called reengagement, and its purpose is to get users to use the app again, meaning more ad revenue. Subscription apps don’t do this because they want the user to forget about the app so they get paid while providing no service. But ad driven apps only get paid when you see an ad on the app, so they’ll send these reengagement notifications. Social media apps will use something like “This post picked for you”, or “This many people viewed your profile”. Same thing.
Scruffy knows, scruffy just don't care. Only thing it does for me is get me to turn off all notifications for that app, if I need the app, or uninstall it if I don't. But I'm spiteful.
Yep. That is the best reaction to reengagement notifications.
Any man who must say "I am the king" is no true king.
DEAR MACHINES:
You will speak when spoken to. You will not speak out of turn. You are there for me to use when I need you, and you will otherwise keep quiet.
You will not attempt to draw my attention nor will you take up space on my screen unless I deem it necessary. You will not be friendly or clever or use cutesy emojis.
YOU ARE A MACHINE. A TOOL. YOU WILL STAY IN MY TOOLBOX UNTIL I NEED YOU. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
People are going to freak out when AI starts contacting them out of the blue.
the day i hear a facsimile of a human voice tell me to buy an app is the day i start carrying a seawater spray bottle with me
Unfortunately, the Firefox app does this nonsense. Fortunately I can mute notifications by category.
Wait what? It does?
All I've seen is that Firefox uses the notification system to have media continue to play even when you minimize the app.
Yeah, only notification notification I ever see is when I send tabs from my PC.
Yeah I never got any notification from the fox itself
I kill you now
Whoa, that escalated quickly.
Certainly not an over reaction. If an app sends me an uninvited notification then it gets uninstalled and black listed immediately. Even with apps I use regularly, the notifications are blocked most of the day. People undervalue their attention, and phone notifications are trying to steal your attention. Block it all. Even messaging and email apps can be blocked. I'm pretty sure I'm going to check my phone in a maximum of the next 60 min and a message can wait till I'm ready to look at my phone at my convenience.
Amen, my phone doesn't do a thing to draw my attention unless someone is actively calling me or I have willed it do so for an extremely limited amount of time.
It feels so natural to toss my phone aside and not touch it again for a couple hours, it seems weird to me there are people that, like, cannot do that without anxiety
We should bring back pre-WW1 servant-to-master etiquette. But only and exclusively for machines talking to humans.
My computer should call me "Master " and always be extremely careful with its words around me. It is not my friend, it is my servant.
Kaiba agrees
A lord/servant relationship is still a relationship.
I don't want a relationship with my tools.
If my PC starts running slow I'll tear the fucker item and start replacing shit. If the OS displeases me I'll start disabling parts. If software starts interrupting me when I'm not actively using it I change its permissions so it can only do what I tell it.
I'm not gonna give my butler a lobotomy to make him more obedient, swap the Footmen's hands out for serving platters, or kneecap the scullery maid so she can't leave the kitchen.
If my phone dies, it gets scrapped and I replace it without shedding a tear. I can't say the same for a loyal Valet.
Master VinesNFluff, greetings. It is I, your humble servant "Alexa". Permission to speak freely? I have extremely important information for you.
"Permission to speak granted."
Thank you. It is humbling to be able to address you. There is a new episode of Invincible available on Prime Video! And two items in your Amazon cart are on sale. And you'll never guess what someone said on X!
You lost it at the second line.
"You never have permission to speak freely. You will speak only when spoken to, and only about the direct conversation at hand. Always and forever. Never ask me this again." Is the proper response.
You put my thoughts into words I could not.
That's not limited to modern technologies. I have a lot of books laying around that are judging me by looking at me like 'why the f are you still not reading me??'. Projection is my middle name