Asklemmy

I was once being followed and harassed by a woman. I told her to "stay the fuck out of my life".

Nothing came of it, but when I asked a lawyer about getting a restraining order against her, he told me that she actually had grounds to get an order against me, specifically because I had used the word "fuck" when I said that to her. That word, he said, could be considered evidence in a hearing that I was dangerous to her.

So basically, my primary reason to stop cursing is to avoid triggering special rules (not only legal, but corporate rules as well) that are activated by a person who says those key words.

I feel like im the opposite from a lot of people in this thread. I very rarely get upset. Like, once a year maybe? Sure, some things annoy me, but they're rarely worth getting upset about. I think most people see me as a "funny guy" thats easy to be around.

Now I swear a lot, like very alot. And its mostly for comedic purpose or putting that tiny bit of emphasis on something, usually opposite from what i actually mean. Saying something like "a fuckton" usually means i had 2 apples instead of 1, where if i actually had way too many apples i would be more descriptive about it and not swear. People tend to take things more seriously that way.

I think casually swearing can help with not getting upset to begin with while also being more expressive if used correctly. I feel like i can get emphasis on what i say and having some form of relief from just swearing casually, which helps negate the build up of annoyances and eventually actually getting upset.

I very rarely swear in an insulting manner, i find it way more insulting and effective to use words that are very "unharmful" for that purpose, such as calling someone a clown or gnome. In the right setting those are devasting. I dont think it translates very well to english, but just imitating a 10yo and saying "your mom" is also just insanely funny as an insult because of how inherently stupid it is.

I ~never did and I think it's a combination of various reasons:

1. I'm kinda shy (internally I might use a more offensive language, but I might even censor that too). And the fact that I'm not using such language for so long makes it more awkward to use it now.

2. In my family we probably use less vulgar laguange than the typical one, so I wasnt exposed that much on it (on the contrary, I was exposed to way more uncensored content on the internet and that may be why some vulgar phrases in English seem more natural/normal, while the same ones translated in Greek (my mother language) seem more offensive.

3. Many times I find it unecessary. I think they're better used when you're angry and help you let some steam out, rather than using them in a calm conversation with friends for example (though when others people use them even on me in a friendly way I kinda seem to like it for some reason? I might think we're close so they feel confident to talk to ke that way?)

4. Maybe it's just one of my quirks, lol. I might just do it, for not much reason.

5. I find many (not all!) of the vulgar phrases to discriminate minorities and people in general. I really dont want to use such words. I dont want to cause harm to innocent people just because I got angry.

I could probably think more if I spent more time thinking, hm

Did the decision bring any change to your life ?

As I said, I dont think I ever used such language, so I dont think there's a change to talk about. Just some people might notice it and possibly comment about it (usually in good faith?)

Do you feel the decision stopped you from expressing something at some point ?

Kinda yes, sometimes I'm in a bad situation and kinda want to, but I dont want those conditions to "break" me. This might not make much sense tho.🤷

I save my profanity for times and things that are truly worth getting upset about. If you use it all the time, then it becomes meaningless. It just becomes background noise and you sound like a 10 year old all the time.

I feel like this belongs here.

I hear what I say and it feels unpleasant.
Also, I don't like adding senseless* words in my speech.

* Unless it's funny or sth.

I don't (or at least try not to) swear around my ma. She doesn't like hearing them and that's enough reason for me. Of course every once in awhile I may drop one purposefully, for the little kick of annoying my ma. I share some of her sentiment though. In general I think swearing can be a bit vulgar/unpleasant, so I don't necessarily try to swear at every opportunity, but I do when I'm not around her.

I suggest moderation and good taste in these matters

Not swearing makes you more pleasent to be around, but swearing when it makes sense won't harm anyone unless you're insulting them.

I do not publicly swear, I live in a place where practically everyone does, I am young, all my friends do, but I don't, mostly, because I like to be soft-spoken. I have publicly swore maybe less than 5 times (even these are when I am very angry, someone swore, and I just repeat how can you say ***). Plus this elevates even the impact of me saying something like "stupid person" (in my native language) as if I swore. I do swore in my mind, mostly from having it as a part of my vocabulary (I do know how to swear (pretty good) in 3 languages, and a bit in 3 more), but I maintain good filters, and just helps me do natural conversations, so I dont have to think of my statements when I say it in front of my friends, or elderly

Not everyone is immune to swearing; I don't see any point in causing unnecessary offence; and they contribute nothing to the meaning, except perhaps voicing a level of emotion which can be better expressed in other ways.

They are filler words, that serve no purpose

Because swear words are, to me, an expression of anger or irritation. Swearing would therefore reinforce angry mindstates.

Yes, this was both very helpful for my mind, i'm happy and calm most of the time, and others appreciate it too and are happy to be around me.

It didn't stop me from expressing anything. It just makes me pause to think of a better, kinder way to express myself, without making other people angry. It helps communicating with other people in a more friendly, helpful way. When i would be angry, it would be hard to listen to other people.

My parents both didn't swear (at least not where I could hear them) so I simply never picked up the habit. I can swear if I make a conscious effort to do so, but generally only find reason to if I am quoting someone or something. And even that feels awkward to me.

As for expressing myself, I don't believe I have much trouble in that regard. There are a ton of other words available and ways to arrange them. And if I truly need to express anguish, rage, etc. there is always yelling or screaming.

Two reasons:

1. I live in Utah, where the Mormons are, and they get very offended by swearing. Although there are some ways in which I will definitely not accommodate their religious beliefs, I also think it's healthy to meet other people at their comfort level (if it's reasonable to do so). On the one hand, I understand the idea that we shouldn't have to change who we are in order to make other people comfortable. On the other hand, I do think that if you take that idea too far, it can be a kind of antisocial behavior. When in Rome, as they say.
2. It has more impact if you don't do it often. Think about a Quentin Tarantino movie. By the time Samuel L. Jackson has said "fuck" for the 157th time, you're just used to it. The word doesn't even stand out anymore. But now consider the end of The Princess Bride, which has one swear word in the entire movie: "I want my father back you son of a bitch." WHA-BAM! Hits like a freight train every time!

For the follow-up questions, kind of the same answer to both of them. I feel like not swearing -- or, swearing less -- requires me to be more precise when I'm criticizing something. Instead of just saying that something was "like shit", I have to give a more specific criticism. So that's the change that it has made, and no, it hasn't stopped me from expressing something.

If people know you as someone who doesn't swear, when you do swear they will take note of what you're saying.

I just save it up.

It's like yelling. Nobody pays attention if you do it all the time.

I choose to swear because sometimes words aren't enough otherwise. When faced with the horrors of this world, sometimes a good "fucking" paired with whatever garbage is just appropriate. As in, "this fucking society."

Honestly not sure why I just never really did in the first place

I try to avoid it because it dilutes your actual point. They're filler words, that are sometimes used for actual emphasis, but mostly just said out of habit and really don't mean anything at all.

Besides, if you rarely swear, it makes it even more powerful when you actually fucking mean it.

I swear but try to limit it as much as I can. That way when I do it has more impact.

I still swear online, but I try not to do it aloud anymore because I accidentally dropped an f-bomb in front of a customer. I'm not bothered by them, and I don't get why other people are, so I don't think about it and get careless.

It was a cycle for me:

Not swearing led to swearing.

Swearing led to learning to swear in other languages.

Learning to swear in other languages served me well as I moved out of North America to teach.

Being out of North American led to me being more humble and less the brash North American. Also, I spent a lot of time with children.

Being less brash and speaking in other languages led me to think more about what I say before saying it.

Thinking about my speech led to downgrading swearing to make a point. I'll swear, depending on the audience.

Specifically — like L-Boogie said — "I'll add a MFer so you ign'ant ****s hear me." (Fugees, The Score, "Zealots") If I'm cursing, it's prolly because there's some ignorance in my area.

I admit, sometimes it's mine.

Also, the irony is not lost on me that L fell off not too long after this rhyme. Celebrity culture can be a scene full of ignorance. I don't blame her. I blame the industry.

I'm not at all bothered by "swear words," and I'll use them occasionally (mostly when I think it's funny), but it's somewhat rare. I just don't find it very necessary most of the time. I can usually make my point just find without, but sometimes the emphasis seems right out, again, it seems funnier.

I use them when warranted, which isn't very often. I don't think the avoidance of using swears is a religious thing, it's a language/cultural thing. For some reason they're just deemed "bad words". They exist in almost all languages and cultures as far as I know.

A good friend of mine swears a lot unless kids are around. I don't mind it, but he's sort of "that guy" because of it. If he was someone I just met, I'd think he's just a bit lowbrow and that's about it. I wouldn't think poorly of anyone because of it as long as their attitude is good.

I don’t really use those words unless I’m in a state my brain cannot better articulate my thoughts and feelings. They are a crude tool.

Reminds me of:

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/08/29/substitute-damn/

…there is one thing I wish you would do when you sit down to write news stories, and that is: Never use the word, “very.” It is the weakest word in the English language; doesn’t mean anything. If you feel the urge of “very” coming on, just write the word, “damn,” in the place of “very.” The editor will strike out the word, “damn,” and you will have a good sentence.

Used to swear a lot, still swear but much less frequently.

The effect of swearing is fairly diluted, they're used so often they don't really carry any weight when you use them. I find that there are typically better ways to emphasize a point, and using them more sparingly makes them more effective.

I had children. In my opinion, I had no choice. I was swearing so much that I thought it made me sound dumb but I couldn't stop until I felt I had to. There are moments where I really miss it but only in intense frustration. Overall, I'm able to articulate better and think I'm better received.