this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

I've met him a couple of times. Shook my hand once. I've got some pretty big hands, but his completely overtook mine. Left a decent amount of sweat behind. Worth it.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago

An ex met Keanu Reeves on an airplane when she was ten and said he was very kind and gave her his autograph. I hope both of these men remain awesome and no awful secrets come out to damage my appreciation for their being good dudes.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

Well, he's not John Doucheman.

[–] [email protected] 89 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I had a similar experience, except I said "you're the guy from Big Lebowski!" and he said yep and then smashed my car windows with a crowbar.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

I just wanna let him know that I liked Speed Racer and thought it was a fun and unique movie.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

That wasn't Goodman, that was Freeman.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Were you skiing in the Alps?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You don't find a stranger in the alps

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

You see what happens?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I thought he was an alcoholic

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

can be a fun drunk

[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Not everyone is an asshole when they're drunk.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Not everyone is an asshole whenever they're drunk.

FTFY

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Are you drunk ?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

TIL the difference between when and whenever.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Your statement was perfectly valid. I just wanted to imply the level of assholeness is more variable.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I am very fortunate in that I love to drink and alcohol makes me happy and friendly and silly. I have the potential to embarrass myself but almost no risk of terminating a friendship.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Same, except the hangxiety says something completely different. Don't drink much anymore.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Same. I just get real talkative and all my negative emotions leave my body (at least until hangover time comes around). By contrast when I'm sober I'm usually very quiet and stay out of the conversation. Drinking fairly regularly for two decades now I've never had a "drunk asshole" moment like a lot of people seem to do. Even when I've gotten into arguments and things like that. I just don't get angry.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

My brother's first roommate was an alcoholic. First time I saw him sober it completely caught me off guard cause he was so much fun to be around when he was drunk, but a completely normal and boring dude while sober.

I hope he got the help he needs.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

So? Some of the best men I have known were alcoholics.

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