this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

One bag of freshly plucked eyeballs from the eyeball fairy.

The eyeball fairy leaves you with 1 lb of spleen's.

They all trade parts to leave you with something. You don't want to know what the pound of flesh fairy leaves...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

I would watch this Doctor Who episode

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Be careful not to "accidentally" (??) break the femur or the magic fairy will be a bit different.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

A femur? That depends, is it your femur? Or is it a femur you acquired?

In the former, you may be eligible for a lifetime of less-than-poverty wages, for free from a thing called "dys ahh bill eee tee"...

If it's the latter, you can get an all expenses paid trip to the local penetentary! Where you will be given free food, clothing and shelter, possibly for years!

Either way, you may not have to work, ever again... Or maybe you just won't be able to! Who knows!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

But what if it's not a human femur. Like say a goat femur.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

We're going to need a pricing table here for that. Let me ask Haskill for that.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

About tree fiddy.

Side question: how much do kids get for teeth these days? Has inflation hit the tooth fairy game yet?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You shut your whore mouth!

.... You'll spoil the joke! C'mon man.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Username checks out though

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Indeed it does. I noticed that immediately after I posted my comment.

Oh well.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

The tooth fairies in Pathfinder pull out tiny pliers and take your teeth by force, can't wait to throw them at my group

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Hostile bone fairy? You mean the Moopsy

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

In Quebec, we had a legend that is thought to be related to "The Bone setter". It's a guy that would crack back your bones or something, and their patients would scream, so people were rightfully scared.

Parents would basically say to their child that if they misbehave, they would call the bone setter.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Québec? Username checks out. 😅😂

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Probably makes them fear chiropractors as well. So... ... Win win

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I didn't realize fairies worked like the American healthcare system, with mouth bones being a super special exception from the rest of the bones

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Eh, tooth fairies are totally unheard of in quite a few countries, but dental school is regarded as medical special ed pretty much worldwide.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

In America's case they are generally considered healthcare professionals but insurance insists they are covered separately.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

It's the same thing in Canada as well unfortunately.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

A femur bucks than for a tooth

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Personaly, I prefer the boner fairy

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Wait till you put it under your couch cushion ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Mom got angry when I kept putting chicken bones under my pillow each night. "Don't incur the wrath of the bone fairy!" she warned!

Anyway, I'm a fae touched warlock now so who's laughing now, Ma.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Anyway, I'm a fae touched warlock now so who's laughing now, Ma.

In my experience, the answer to this is nearly always "everyone involved in the situation, except for you."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

I'm sure there's easier ways to pick up Eldritch blast.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Those fairies live in the same universe where the skeletons came at night and the bones are their money and so are the worms?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Moopsy agrees.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Cash, cash, cash for your bones! Too many bones? Not enough cash? Call Cash Bone! Ribs, skulls, spines, even certain tiny ear bones. The leg bone's connected to the Cash Bone!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My brother once slept in with his head under his pillow. He got much for his skull but at what cost...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Now we call him totally headless nick

[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

And does it have to be my femur?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Nope! It's doesn't even have to be human.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

brb i have a haul to take from my nearest butcher shop

the bone fairy will be pleased and my bedsheets will smell of rotting flesh

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If the bone fairy gave you money for your bones, it's not more than what the tooth fairy gives for teeth otherwise we'd have a totally different tradition going on.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Well, bones are quite a lot bigger compared to teeth so, it's a possibility that you could get more money from a bone fairy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Seeing how bone fairies are more hostile, the bones you place under your pillow will likely end up as protection fees.

Miss a payment and lose a bone.