I've progressively come to the realisation that I do indeed want GRS, I always wanted FFS and GRS felt less important, but as time goes on I realise that, I'm never going to have a fullfilling sex life with my current equipment...
this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2024
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Transfem
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I had it done in 2019. Very happy I did. I've also been on HRT for over a decade. AMA
Non-trans here.
Do you remember how you felt before HRT, starting taking HRT and now, physically (because emotionally, it must be liberating I assume)?
It is fascinating to me that we can modify the human body to that extent, and hormones play a huge role on how we physically and emotionally we feel.
Thank you for your time.
I haven't had FFS or GRS yet, but I've been on hormones for a while.
before HRT I was pretty depressed, the culprit was the fact that no matter what I did my body got worse (more masculine). For example: I hated shaving because I had to, I was horrified that shaving might make my beard grow faster (it doesn't but it does make it more visible), so for years I would pluck it out in the hopes that it would slow down and stop spreading but it kept creeping up to other areas of my face. I couldn't do anything .
That wasn't the only thing, my face, my hairline, my body, my voice, everything was always getting worse.
TW
I genuinely thought about committing suicide.
At one point it genuinely got really bad and I decided that I would stop living as others expected me to, that day I started transitioning, I came out to my parents about two months later and 3.5 months after that I started HRT.
Starting HRT is really magical the first day you're super excited but nothing really happens for like 48h, then if the treatment is correct (correct dosage) you start to feel pretty tired for a week or two, this is because testosterone kinda acts like caffeine in a way and gives you a lot of energy, you get used to it fast though and then the changes start coming in. More importantly though, you know for sure at that point that things aren't getting any worse and that probably is the most HRT will do for your mental health.
Mentally the first month was a roller-coaster going from "Yipee i got HRT!!! 🎉" to "is this thing even working?☹️" (it is working it's just slow, manage your expectations!), estradiol kicks in and suddenly you feel things it's strange but stuff feels more vibrant, music(for me) became insanely good one day and I've been listening to so much music since, it's crazy. That could 100% be because I was less depressed but I have a feeling it's not only that.
Then the physical changes start, you actually don't notice them, but I just took pictures every month an yeah things are definitely changing so that feels really good! It does feel unreal, like I have boobs now that's the coolest shit ever!!! you get used to your body but things like hips and breasts still amaze me when I see them.
I'm not fully where I want to be but I actually kinda like my body and I would have told you that was impossible a few years back.
Thanks for the thorough description. I guess that no matter what you do, if you don't feel good in your body, then nothing will matter until the issue is fixed.
It's hard for me to grasp the emotion of feeling like my body isn't really my body, if that makes any sense. But your description at least makes it a little bit easier to grasp.
I might just have some questions later!
My brain is unconvinced that medical science has advanced far enough in the bottom surgery field for me to be comfortable with it. Born too early for the lab grown body parts.
And also I'm going to be broke getting top surgery anyways.
Hah i know what you mean. Yeah and the studies theyve done indicate a very high satisfaction rate, which is very nice !
That’s a common experience. Fortunately some of the longer wait time elements of bottom surgery like hair removal can start asap
In fact, some stuff like hair removal is actually better to start early and do long term. Cuz there’s always the chance that rapid treatments don’t get everything, but you won’t know right away until things have time to heal and start growing again. So if you do it too quickly, it’s possible that you miss follicles that can still grow hair. And when discussing bottom surgery, missed follicles are the stuff of nightmares. So start the hair removal early, let it have time to heal, and give yourself time to identify any missed follicles and return for further treatment.
I didn't think I wanted it before I started transition, it took a few months for it to fully sink it that it was a thing I could do and that it would make me happier. I wasn't able to get it for a long time due to medical gatekeeping, but I'm very happy I was eventually able to get it nonetheless.
I am also struggling with feeling like I deserve it. I still can't connect with whether it would make me happier per se, but having a scrotum is pretty gross - so I guess I feel more dysphoria as a motivation than gender euphoria.
~~Oh hey, yours was fairly recent; I remember commenting on your posts! How goes/went recovery?~~ Whoops, wrong username, my bad. Mistook you for someone else who made some posts around june-ish
I had mine in April of last year. Not my post, but I'm doing great :)
Glad to hear it! I think it's probably a goal for me long-term, until then I think I will consider myself an angler-fish (IYKYK).
"What, these? No, they belonged to the last guy to misgender me."
I think ive just hit that point! Im glad its worked out for you! ❤️
You seem to think that it's only okay to start wanting bottom surgery years after transitioning but I don't see why that should be the case. Knowing I most likely want to get bottom surgery even though I'm somewhat scared of it actually helped me get over my doubts and start transitioning in the first place.
Kinda same. I've been on HRT for a while. Like... 5 years a while >^<
I've wanted bottom surgery for years now, but get very anxious when I start picking up the phone to do it. It can also just be hard in the mental sense to push yourself to get something you need, like going to the dentist or whatever. You know you need it, but one reason or another makes it more difficult than it really should be.
I'm happy that I don't mind it too much still being there, but I did think a lot a few days ago how everything would be just be better if it was gone. Hell, if I even got an orchiectomy it would be an improvement. But y'know... Bills, insurance doesn't cover it, having to spend everyday of my life having to help my family out. Just never ever had enough time nor money to really try and work on myself more than just the hormones (╥﹏╥)
Anyways, I wish chu luck on chur journey! ^°^ Thanks for taking your time to read. 🫂❤️
It can also just be hard in the mental sense to push yourself to get something you need, like going to the dentist or whatever.
Wow you really didn't need to call me out like that :P I've just started HRT after like 10 years of suppressing my feelings and I'm currently also putting off getting my wisdom teeth pulled. But thanks and good luck to you too!
Yeah that was how i was feeling but others have done it early on. I think part of it was wanting to be sure myself.
I got bottom surgery 11 months after starting hrt, and that required me to start the paperwork process 4 or so months in to things. If you need it you need it. There's no such thing as too soon.
Yup, there's a ton of advance work: hair removal, referral letters from psychologists, insurance wrangling, figuring out your caregiver situation during recovery... go ahead and get started, you'll be prepping for 9-12 months.
Cries in 3 years waiting time (France)
Ive started the hair removal, that was the first thing that i couldn't stand hah. Good advice from yiu two, i should get started looking into it all.