this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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No such thing. Ask away!

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I know this is probably a shitposting meme. And my wife and my female friend, when I asked them, both laughed and said, "Yeah all the time." I can't tell if it's sarcasm.

I asked this because Im a guy, and we've heard it all before. The guy plowing a warm apple pie. The ookie cookie BS. The jerk off with a sock. Dudes have done some weird things. I absolutely have found myself relieving some stress in interesting ways.

But veggies: Is this a common thing? Am I going to have to worry that my daughter, when she reaches a curious age, starts exploring with vegetables?

During puberty, should I start giving my children Amazon gift cards or no questions ask money to protect my produce?

I am aware this question is ridiculous and I am prepared to be ridiculed.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (2 children)

That kid just learned a valuable lesson about washing things off when you're done using them. Especially food. Fucking gross lol

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Maybe just throw the cucumber out if you use it that way

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

That is a perfectly good cucumber! Just picked the mother fucker. The salt and vinegar will sanitize it... And now you've got pickles!

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 months ago (6 children)

You better make sure your son doesn't have access to coconuts

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Or a melon baller.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

or anything with a cavity inside

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Is it normal for teenagers discovering sexuality to improvise sex toys? Absolutely. Cucumbers are generally a convenient shape and size. When I was a young male teenager, I used hotel shampoo bottles. (Almost got one stuck inside me, no idea what I would have done.) When the time comes to have that talk, mention sex toys and that if they want to experiment, they should use objects that are meant to be used that way and that you won't judge them for it. I'd probably also mention that you won't open packages addressed to them and leave it at that.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

Got a bit freaky with a friend once. I used the cucumber on her. We both ate it after. Don't leave that shit for other people to eat. As long as they have common sense, you should be fine.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

did you catch Poor Things?

[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It's a shitposting meme. The poster has this pinned on their twitter:

That said... I have heard horror stories about poor theater staff finding cucumbers after the 50 shades premiere. Some of it was just people memeing and trying to prank but I'm not entirely sure about all of it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

4chan greentext, but signing with your name? Brave.

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