General Discussion

Perhaps it's good to start with finding out why you dislike people so easily, or why spending time with other's is so dissatisfying.

If you can, perhaps consider talking to a therapist about it. They understand how people work, and can help you figure out why you struggle with connecting.

As for orientation, things just work differently when you're aroace. I'd say focus on the first part.

I'd say if you truly think you want a partner and not just company, then go talk to a therapist about it and work on turning things around.

If you just want company then go get a dog or cat.

You know that raising a family is not mandatory and that nobody is (or should be) forcing you to have one, right?

I don’t even know what the hell people are supposed to do with each other.

You're supposed to do whatever you want to do that is pleasing or interesting for both. That means that if that activity is not pleasing for you, you shouldn't do it.

If you don't like people, you don't. Forcing yourself to interact with people you're not interested in is a bad idea.

Go to an in-person event for a thing that you like and see if you enjoy the company of anyone there. I'm not sure how you'll find a relationship if you can't make a friendship first, so I would just start with friends.

Going to an event focusing on something you already like means that you will enjoy it even if you don't meet anyone interesting and you will also have at least one thing in common with everyone there.

Also, you don't have to talk to someone on an app all the time. Move off of the app (text, calling, in-person, etc.) and set a certain window of time for socializing. I get that you might feel pressure to talk constantly, but just be honest - something like, "hey, I like talking to you but I have other things to get done now; we can chat more later" works fine as long as they're emotionally mature.

But when I finally get someone to respond to me, my reaction is first a little bit of excitement, but then I get annoyed at having to chat with someone I just met all the time. So I unfortunately act like a dickhole by then ghosting them soon after. Even if I manage enough stamina to chat back and forth for a week or so, it always just ends up tiring and a bother to me.

I'm not one to tell somebody they shouldn't feel annoyed, or tired, or bothered, but it sounds like you're not satisfied with how things are going for you, and I've italicized three things above you should take a hard look at if you're interested in any kind of change.

Recognize that you don't have to feel annoyed. Feeling annoyed or bothered is often what we feel if we have fears, anxieties, or expectations that aren't being met, and you can actually learn to let all of that go and just be present in the moment, if you want to.

Also, you identified yourself that you "act like a dickhole," so stop it!

Try to meet people irl. There are lots and lots of people. Try to let your barriers down, meaning approach people with no expectations, no judgment, and unconditional positive regard. Ask people questions about themselves. You'll be flabbergasted how easily you can make connections if you do these things.

On the one hand, I firmly believe that whatever attributes you have, there are people who want exactly that. On the other hand, the less popular those attributes are, the fewer people there are who want them. You apparently need someone who leans towards sexuality, is patient enough to deal with someone who is somewhat antisocial, and is willing to put up with kind of rude things like being ghosted or whatever, but is interested in reading a kid with someone like that. That's a tiny percentage of people. You didn't mention if you have other qualities that would be really attractive to people and might help balancing things out.

So what you do is just keep plugging at it, while understanding that it's probably going to be a long search.

Fwiw, my partner and I have been dating 4 years and have only had sex a few times. She's demi and I'm ace.

Maybe try OkCupid and set yourself as demi?

You may be overthinking it - everyone is different, and wants different things.

You'll probably find it easier to hang out with people that share common interests though, and that might be harder if your interests do not match those around you.

Do whatever you want, so long as you let others do the same.

i know how you feel.

i don't really have any advice.

i stopped dating a little before covid, and never started again.

i feel lonely sometimes, but i have friends and a cat.

Don't know whatever this would be considered dating. It sounds like you're looking for friends to do stuff with and if lucky something might develop between you. A good option could be joining honor groups or aggressively hanging out with the few friends you have. Like tell them about your plans and keep telling them till they join you m that way, you might meet their friends and extend your friend pool