196

With by luck, they have a vore fetish.

On a more serious note: A spoon. Hold the cup of the spoon with your thumb, pressing it with your index finger. Now it's a blunt weapon, unless you sharpen your spoons.

https://en.m.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Fork_of_Horripilation

Carry a gun with you. If someone tries to rob you, grab your chest and say "Call an ambulance!" Then pull out your gun and say "but not for me!"

fancy restaurants give you an extra fork to defend your plate

If you've got a good singing voice, you can always accompany it with this