this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2024
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NonCredibleDefense

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

OwO what’s this? Nuzzles radar array—how's your signal strength, over? Your engines are emitting some serious warmth. 🛩️ *Scans fuel intake* 🛢️ A bulge? Roger that, ground control. Someone's happy in the hangar today. 😎 Nuzzles your sleek fuselage, purring like a Pratt & Whitney engine. ⚙️ *Cleaning the cockpit glass* You're so big, radar signature is off the charts! Rubs your aerodynamic curves—it's like your airframe doesn't know when to quit. 🎯 *Locks on target* Kisses you, then licks your necky—mommy likies, indeed. I hope the chief engineer approves of my maneuvers. *Flight control override engaged* I've got an itch, ground crew. A seven-meter itch, to be precise. Can you assist? Squirms and wags my wings. 🛬 *Emergency descent protocol* Permission to be punished, sir? Runs my ailerons down your fuselage, bites my lip—this is gonna be one wild barrel roll. 🔄 *Full afterburner* Paws on your bulge, eyes glowing like HUD displays. I'm thirsty, and it's not for aviation fuel. *Unbuttons your pants, licks the shaft* Mmmm, oily goodness. Drools all over your daddy meat. Fondles Mr. Fuzzy—yes, I love the joystick. 🕹️ *Inhales deeply* Oh, God—punish me, daddy! Nyea~ Squirms and wiggles, loving your oily essence. Bites my lip again. *Engaging vertical climb* Please, punish me. Licks my lips, savoring your goodness. Eyes roll back as you go deep - give me your G-force! *Supersonic moans* Suckles your control stick, oscillating wildly. 🥵

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

HUD displays

The redundancy (heads-up display display) and improper pluralization killed the mood like an open bomb bay door.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Call me a middle eastern military base because I want it to blow it's load all over me 🥵💦

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Whoa, didn’t see that coming.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Rare opportunity for multiple level pun, I had to take it, even if other’s don’t seem to appreciate the joke.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

This is before they dip it in chocolate

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Man, I wish I had that many dicks.

What are the extra "dicks" for, exactly?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Looks like pitot tubes, for measuring air speed and altitude.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hmm. So probably two so it can measure yaw by the difference in pressures. Then you have the air spike on the front that was attended to by this good Samaritan. That still leaves one mystery dick.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You wouldn’t measure yaw by the pitot tubes. I suppose it’s theoretically possible, but it would be complicated and imprecise. Yaw is measured by a gyro (modern planes are a laser ring gyro rather than a spinny gyro). The pitot tubes would all feed into air data computers for various systems. Flight instrumentation would have at least three (redundancy and error checking) and the fourth could possibly be for weapons systems or something similar, not sure.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Maybe the weird arrangement is just another stealth feature. Refueling, antenna and aerodynamic are also possible purposes I can think of for such a projection.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Here I was, ready to reply about wacky "pilot tubes", then re-read and saw it's piTot tubes

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's got a wacky texture on it too. (Don't ask me how I know...)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Very well, I demand an explanation on how you know that. This is not a question

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

It was revealed to me in a delusion

I definitely didn't also touch it...

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago (1 children)

That's gotta be super illegal, glad someone is taking care of the plane's needs though

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I mean its inappropriate but touching it isn't exactly illegal, you aren't damaging it or anything.

Also there was no don't do the Plane sign.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

But officer, there wasn't a sign that said I couldn't fuck the plane

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Tomorrow

"Hey Jenkins, what's with that new sign you're installing?"

"Don't ask, but remember, every sign is put up for a reason."

[–] [email protected] 52 points 4 months ago (1 children)

This video is the materialization of the intrusive thought I was having when I started watching this video.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

"Touch it. Make it go, "Pew! Pew!""