Like liquid bread, you say? Hell yeah!
this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2024
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The duck shouldn't have asked the dog for grapes
It looks like this was from back when The Huffington Post was a reliable news agency:
For you the day I walked into your pub wearing a bow-tie, drank a pink, and fought a dog and lost, was the most important day of your life.
For me, it was Tuesday.
General Bison agrees.
wild ride this post was for me. i half read the headline, didn't register anything. Then read the comment. Primed, knowing it was weird i reread the headline paying attention. Somehow i understood duck-wearing bow-tie, as in a bow-tie of the kind that wears ducks... I need a nap
He was going to pay for the beer, but when he asked the bartender to put it on his bill, he let the dog out.
Who did?
No, He did.
What?
No, What's on second, we're not talking about him now.
We're not talking about who?
Bow-ties are cool. Fezzes too.
It starts sounding like a joke but the punchline is that it's real
Average season 2 episode of the Wire
No luck catching them ducks, then?
It's just the one duck.
So they didn't have their ducks in a row then
I don't get it.
I guess it's more in the way you tell bar jokes than the punchline...
A couple Canadian geese would've taken down the whole bar, the dog, and a probably a couple pigs.
Canada geese*
("Canadian geese" would be any geese from Canada.)
I found the goose.
Keep that bar low, cupcake. It's working out great for ya so far. 😚
Dogs normally don't want to fight. If that changes, there's no way a goose is going to win.
Wanna bet?
We have a problem with feral dogs in our area. Some of them are mixed with coyote (and maybe wolf, depends on who you ask).
We had one wiggle through our fence a few days ago. Went after a hen.
Our rooster says hell no. Goes after a dog three times his size (and he's a foot tall at the wing, big freaking cock energy in our yard). The dog switches gears and goes after him. Rooster proceeds to fuck said dog up. All beak and spurs and wings beating.
Me and my dad are moving as fast as our old, busted up asses can, and I'm grabbing my shotgun.
We bust through the back door, and this dog is trying to fight the rooster. And failing miserably. The dog sees us coming and runs for the fence, blood running off of its face.
It left fur and some skin on the edges of the fence.
Our rooster lost almost all of his tail feathers, some on his back, and some on his chest. No injuries, no blood on him that wasn't the dog's. Vet checked him out and no internal damage either.
Now, a duck doesn't have the spurs and sharper beak that a rooster has. They aren't the same kind of fighter for sure.
But I've had to punch a fucking goose before, and it didn't do anything but make it madder. And I've been attacked by duck when I got too close to its babies, those wings actually hurt when they're beating you in the face.
Never count a bird out until it's out.
But, you're right, most dogs will go out of their way to avoid a fight of any kind. Has to be a damned good reason for most to even get into a little dustup, much less be serious. I'm just saying that even a fairly big dog that's out to kill can get their ass kicked by a smaller animal that's willing to fight back
Never count a bird out until it's out.
They ruled the Earth once. They haven't forgotten.
Geese have a massive weakness all along their very long necks. I've seen dogs fight with intent to kill before and a single bite to the very long neck would be enough to take them out.
What breed was that feral dog of yours? Was it already weak and starving?
Breed? Mixed. Not starving, it was short haired and ribs weren't visible in any case. Hard to estimate weight, but it was almost hip high on my dad, so I'd guess maybe 50 - 55 lbs? Could be as much as sixty, but I doubt it.
I wouldn't have assumed feral of it didn't have chewed up ears. It was in good shape otherwise.
The problem with geese necks is getting to them. I have to say I've never seen a goose and dog fight, I'm going off of having had them come after me, but snatching that neck wasn't realistic for me back then, and I was in great shape. Damn thing was just flapping and pecking at me too fast to get ahold of it with the one that was "out for blood". That's in quotes because it was trying to run me off, but it wasn't playing, not because it was trying to kill me or anything.
Just punched it and ran lol
But, nah, these damn dogs have been a problem for decades now. They aren't exactly long lived, or in perfect condition, but they don't starve outside of winter. Far from it; they raid garbage, go after birds and other small livestock/pets, etc. They don't give a damn about much, and aren't scared of people one at a time. Hell, they aren't too scared of people if they're running in numbers, and there's not many people; they just won't do anything. We've had some attacks on individuals and kids. Things are a damn menace.
Which is tangential. They don't tend to survive long when they get injured or sick, so it's unusual to see one that's in bad shape. You'll see one limping around, and then not see it again ever.
Oi ye... ye fuckin' dag. Always barkin' at the fukin' pond. Ye wanna fight me? I'm looking dapper as fuck pal.