Didn't know about the first phase.
this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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Tangential, but anyone passing by this comment and doesn't like popcorn after working at a theater?
Whenever I see a bowl of popcorn it reminds me of that smell of popcorn and coke mixed together in a garbage can. It's not so bad that I don't eat it at all. But if I do, I have very little.
My first job was at a theatre. The black jeans they had us buy to work there never lost the smell of popcorn butter. I kept them for a few years thinking they'd lose the smell after enough washings, but no.
I know that coke/popcorn/garbage mix smell, and how stupidly heavy a full trash bag gets when there's too many full sodas in it.
I don't eat popcorn often, but I remember we got it for free as employees in a small-sized cup. A few of us would make popcorn "parfaits" that consisted of popcorn, butter, and intentionally too much salt for several layers.
That and the slightly over-syruped coke we'd also get for free worked oddly well together.
I assume that this will ultimately be the cause of a massive heart attack, but the free snack smell-memory outpaces the garbage memory for me.
I'm a fist-stuffing guy. There is also no popcorn left by the time the previews are over. 😔
Also: Is eating all the only slightly popped kernels left at the bottom its own phase? I do that.
The secret third phase is scraping the last few kernels across the butter/salt film on the bottom of the bowl.
What's the phase where the popcorn is gone, so you drag your finger through the salt/butter residue, then lick it off like an animal?
The secret 3½ stage?
Same as for chips
Where's us weirdos that like to eat 1-3 at a time by one sticking to our tongue like a frog
Lol I was telling a coworker about that the other day and they called me a weirdo. Best way to eat popcorn and keep your hands clean!
Present!
Popcorn + spoon is the way. Clean hands plus high throughput.
Probably eat french fries with a fork as well you psychopath.
Chopsticks, unironically. Better than having salt all over your hands.
Old Bay is far superior to salt.
What the fuck
Popcorn is great and all, but having some piece of popcorn stuck in your throat…
Luxury! How about getting a piece of a kernel shell stuck between a tooth and the gum, and taking three days to get it out?
Luxury?! Have you ever had that happen at a movie theater? You just start sucking down on the limited coke that needs to last the whole movie, just to try and get that out. And all you wanted was to enjoy the movie in peace.
Though I will concede. Had some popcorm stuck between teeth during a movie. No fun. Not a kernel, though, and eventually either it was gone somehow, or I got used to it
It starts when the popcorn begins to cool enough that both it's safe to ram mouthfuls and it's a race against the clock to finish before it becomes cold.
It’s a lot like a battle where at first you have controlled volley fire, but later the panicked lieutenant shouts out to fire at will.
They forgot the 3rd mode. When all the popped kernals are gone, and all you have left are the unpopped kernals that you still eat anyways.
The partially popped ones are the best. I’d eat a whole bowl of those. No idea how you would successfully cook them that way.
I never expect my standards to sink that low and yet they always do.
My parents used to warn me that I might end up cracking a tooth on the kernels. I still eat them anyway. Probably gonna regret that one day lol.
Honestly depends on how drunk I am
I just start with the second mode.
Yeah phase 1 is optional, some of us only wish that we were that sophistumicashiated as all that!
The transition happens at the exact moment that my fingers first touch the popcorn
I've never done the second.
I don't like popcorn enough to justify getting that shit everywhere by uncontrollably grabbing and stuffing it in my mouth. For me, it's something to slowly munch on.
Eh, the messiness is wholly dependent on the person. Me? I can get fistfulls in my mouth without dropping a single kernel or breaking any pieces off (that fall away, anyways). The mess comes from forgetting my fingers are fucked over with salty butter...
It's OK to admit it, this is a safe zone