this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I knew Putin was behind the Talibums all the while. Confirmed, Putin did 911

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

What are Putin's thoughts on The Mujahedeen ?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Taliban and Victor Orban. Both VERY important for Vlad the Imposter.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

That's just the multipolar world kicking in

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Trump, tommorrow: "The afghanistan withdrawl was a yuge success. The taliban are great people, nicest people you ever met"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Here’s my prediction of what that speech might look like:

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I've got a little secret to share with you. The Taliban, they're not just some group out there. They're my friends, good friends. We go way back, way back. Now, I know what you're thinking. Trump, are you crazy? But let me tell you, it's not crazy, it's genius. Absolute genius. Because the Taliban, they're not just any friends. They're the best friends you could have in that part of the world. They're tough, they're strong, they're resilient. And they're not afraid to fight. They've been fighting for a long time, a very long time. And they've been fighting against some very bad people, some very bad terrorists.

And that's why they're not just my friends, they're America's friends. They're our allies in the fight against terror. They're on our side, folks. They're helping us, helping America. And that's why I'm a genius. Because I saw this, I saw this potential, this opportunity, when nobody else did. I saw that we could turn enemies into friends, turn bad into good. And that's what I did, folks. That's what I did. You know, people don't understand, they don't get it. But I do, I get it. I've always gotten it. And that's why I'm the best, the very best. And the Taliban, they're the best too. They're the best at what they do. And together, we're unstoppable.”

The real version might have the incoherence cranked all the way to 11, but I just can’t write like that without getting a headache.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Geopolitics is such a silly but deadly game.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

A game above the heads of nearly peace loving 8+b people.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

They are the terrorists, dude

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

It's kind of bad guy versus bad guy out there. Russia is simply picking its preferred winners.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Looking forward to all the Putin and Xi fans having to explain to us how the Taliban has been unfairly maligned by Western propaganda.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

Something something, resisting NATO. Something something, western hegemony. Something something, America bad.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Won't be a stretch for Yall-Qaeda

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago

hexbear on life support

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (3 children)

It sounds wacky if you're on a mostly American or corporate media diet these last twenty years, but the Taliban has been fighting terrorists in their area of late. The situation in the middle east has failed to be as simple as GW Bush would have had us believe.

I don't support them obviously, but I at least recognize that this isn't really as zany and ironic as a typical "not the Onion" headline.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Sure, terrorists can fight other terrorists. It doesn't make either flavor any better

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Sometimes they even fight a War On Terror

[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Who the Taliban call "terrorists"

  1. Anyone associated with the previous democratic government.
  2. Women.
  3. Anyone with a half decent education.
  4. Regional warlords that were(are?) bankrolled by the US and previously stabilized the country, protecting it from foreign interests like the Taliban.
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Ah, that's why Trump, Putin and Xi love these people.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Sounds interesting. Care to elaborate?

Is it because one terrorist group has been slaughtering all the other terrorists? Maybe that makes them ok in Putin’s eyes?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

https://youtu.be/WmKireMHUfM

TL;DW: Now that the Taliban actually has the responsibility of holding a country together, they're no longer jihadist enough to satisfy the bloodlust of the other terrorist groups in the area, so they're now being attacked as traitors to the cause. Even worse for the people of the nation, these groups have begun attacking other nations like Russia to force another incursion into Afghanistan to topple the Taliban and leave a power vacuum so the more extreme groups can take over.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Wow fanatics eating their own as the never ending purity spiral spins, the world is so full of new things....