this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
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Asklemmy

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

No kids. They’re a huge, life long commitment that you need to be willing to sacrifice everything for. Your happiness, your sanity, your time, your money… everything.

And I’m not the type of person who wants kids nearly enough to do that.

Especially when people tell me that I should for reasons like having a caretaker when I’m older. I’m not attached to my parents enough to do that. Why would I expect that of anything I pop out? And what a horrible selfish reason to make a new human that is!

If the only reason I’d be having a kid is selfish reasons in the distant future that aren’t even a guarantee, then that’s not worth sacrificing myself for right now.

Nothing against other people who want to be parents, so long as they’re prepared and not doing it as some sort of life insurance or to make a clone of themselves.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

yep, good opinion sir..

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Kids. The whole world is new and interesting to them and that is infectious.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

having children sounds disgusting. every year that I'm still alive and I see more of my friends on Facebook posting their fat naked baby slobber garbage I am even more happy than before. fuck your cookie slobber food garbage bowling ball head fat screaming toothless idiot crap. do not ever come to my house. im blocking them all

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

There would have to be some dramatic changes in the world socially and politically before I'll feel even remotely comfortable having kids. Also my finances would need to change.

And my family also has some genetic issues I'd rather not pass on.

Adoption is an option, but I'm pretty sure I don't even want one in the first place. When I was younger I thought having kids seemed like a sucker's game. My opinion has softened on that a bit, but it's still difficult to imagine actually wanting children.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I always wanted children. Damn near every major life choice has been fueled by that. Took a job I knew I wouldn't be happy at, but could be successful at to provide a better life. Yhe cars I've bought the safety rating for kids was to priority followed by reliability. The house I bought is within walking distance of every grade school, and the basement could easily be setup for a hangout spot for the teen years, oh and a good sized backyard for playing. One of the reasons I stayed at this job is I'm at max PTO and they actually offer paternity leave! I always make mental notes of fun places for kids so I could take them. When they were younger, and I was still considered cool, my niece and nephew wanted to move in with me 😆.

Just never met the right lady.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

I just wanna say I am sorry that it is near impossible for single dads to adopt kids. I understand the reasoning but want to cry because there are kids who need parents but you can't be the parent to one.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Oof. Not sure if you're still trying, but maybe try focusing on (improving) yourself with the same dedication?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Kids! I thought when I was a kid I wanted them no matter what. In my early twenties I decided I only wanted kids if I could find the right partner. Now I have one. Sometimes my partner is great, sometimes he sucks. I don't care, because my kid is great. She's a joy to be around and gives my life purpose in a way I didn't realize was possible. My whole purpose is just to enjoy reading her a story in that moment. My whole purpose is to feed her when she's hungry. My whole purpose is to look into her eyes. My whole purpose is just to enjoy the moment I'm in, and she accidentally causes me to be fully present so often. It's amazing.

That said, I would say if you're not 80% sure you want kids, don't. Figure out what would get you to 80% first. Financial stability, a good partner, a solid career field, etc.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

I don't have social life. I want kids. It's a fucking contradiction.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

No biological kids. In my opinion, there is no reason to produce biological children when there already are millions of parentless, unloved children in foster homes.

That being said, some days I yearn to take care of a child - to know I have given an existing being the opportunity to a better life.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

A couple of years ago, in Portugal, there were more couples looking to adopt than "viable" children up for adoption. While your statement makes total sense, it may be a insensible option on your country. Make due research!

[–] [email protected] -3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

There are options, you could foster too or adopt.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Thanks! I never thought of that.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago

Even if it were possible, I still would not prefer to have any kids.

First off, I haven't even been a "proper adult", and probably would never be. How can I be expected to raise a child with the care and love they deserve when I don't even have my life sorted out? Even if you argue that I'd have to change once having a child, I've also seen people fail to change even after having children they swore they loved even more than their own life.

Secondly, we've already got enough people that are unwanted and abandoned. Why not take better care of people we already have now?

Lastly, parenting is a huge commitment. It's not just about you and your "legacy", but another life that will suffer for your mistakes. For those who are up to the task and willingly take on the responsibility, thank you and best of luck!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I'm a parent, and we made the conscious decision to become parents. That said, I can fully understand people who don't want to have that responsibility. It can be exhausting and thankless, changing almost everything with your life, hobbies and habits.

On the other side of the coin, the depth of love you feel as a parent is impossible to describe. With that comes a set of incredible feelings, watching your children experience, learn and grow.

Basically, parenthood is almost completely thankless, but I wouldn't give it up for the world.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Not everyone who has kids ends up feeling this way though :(

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

And then the grandkids show up....it's like amping up the feelings for my kids x10

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

All the fun, none of the long term responsibilities!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

No kids, ever. I can hardly take care of myself, can't even be trusted with a plant, and I find them disgusting. Who will care for me when I am old? I have worked long and hard with the elderly, and knowing how many of them were abandoned by their families, it is easy to see that my odds are better investing the money I would use to raise a child, in a retirement fund instead.

But with how broke I am, I am not even getting to do the retirement fund thing, so yay. Glad I didn't let an ex change my mind when I was earning a lot back in the day, because those jobs got "optimized" and outsourced.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I love kids, however, with the current situation of our planet and the inhabitants of it, no more. I just hope that our youngest will be able to grow up and live a full life. Shit is going downhill at an accelerated rate.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The moment humans brought nuclear armaments into the world was also the moment that we severed ourselves from our humanity. We are still living in the shadows of metaphorical guns to our heads. This escalation of madness has led us down a very dark path, and for that reason, I'm out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Wars have always been brutal and involved murdering/raping citizens. Don't act like nuclear power made a change in morals. Only thing that changed is the scale. The darkness has always been there.

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