"Is that a blister or a coldsore?"
> I got it by getting squirt by a hot sausage.
"Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?"
this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2024
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You people bake your sausages?
So "hot food". Problem solved.
I always poke them with a fork first to relieve pressure
Forking does relieve pressure.
It's not the herp, it's the derp.
Por que no los dos? Even Wizards get it from their parents.
Amateur move! Gotta be careful around hot sausage splooge.
Could be worse, could be burn from hot candied nuts. Try explaining that one
I've got a scar on my foot from a splash of caramel fresh from the pan
This, legitimately, is what would happen to me. This kind of shit comprises the vast majority of my life story.
Fuck
Larry David is that you?
If my hairline keeps migrating, i may look like him soon
You know what got me to stop wearing contacts for good? Bacon grease popped directly into my eye.
Don't cook homemade caramel.
AKA confectioners napalm
Don't use your teeth!
If the sausage grease is boiling hot, someone might need to see a doctor...
Don't demonic possession shame people. They are vessels and can't choose the nature of the spirit that has taken their mortal form.
A big brown dripping hot sausage. 😈
You had me at dripping.. 💦