this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Happy Pride Month! πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I dreamt about blowing a guy once when I was a teenager. Does that qualify me as a gay?

[–] [email protected] -2 points 5 months ago

Nope. Straight to jail.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I used to be straight but now im gay I think that law made me this way.

https://g.co/kgs/dJqwkta

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Don't take this lightly, friends. I was already rounded up by the LGBTQ-agenda and dragged to Quantico for questioning by drag queens and people who identified as cats. There was literally a litter box in the corner of the interrogation room. A bit awkward, really.

Then they beat me up and made me kiss men while they oiled me up for a sensual massage. The horrors!

I finally ratted on a few friends who are straight and they let me go so long as I promised to suck dick from now on. It's gonna be tough telling my partner she has to move out eleven months of the year, but I can't go back. My apt is now painted in rainbows for safety. Surely, they won't black-bag me and disappear me when they see that, right? Can night vision goggles make out the colors of the rainbow? They can't? Oh, shit…

^^ This was all /s, of course.

Happy pride month, everybody! Let's throw it in their bigoted faces.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Listen, the cat people, they are not with us. I mean, it's not as bad and when they try to push pedophiles into our group, sure. The cat people are mostly harmless. But still, I must stress, the cat-identifying people are not allowed in the alphabet.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Well I mean..a mouth is a mouth, right?!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Everyone is beautiful in the dark.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Do I go straight to gay jail or straight to straight jail?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

All jails are gay, nothing to worry about

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You go gay to straight jail, obviously!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

If they are gay, they go to no jail at all

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The sad thing is, some people really believe this.

Oh wait, no they don't. They're just waging a culture war on the LGBTQ+ community by making things up like the "gay agenda".

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The gay agenda is playing the latest video games, surviving work, and eating Taco Bell.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

A bunch of freaks.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Well I'm not gay, but I am pan, though. Do I count or should I go turn myself in?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You're one of us. You're safe

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yay! I'm a part of something! :D

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Gooble Gobble We accept them!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Gooble Gobble

?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Flirty Bisexual Interrogations

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Fisting-Brunch Intersectionalities

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Do asexuals go to jail? Or do we get an honorary a gay card?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's only illegal to be straight, so the aces should be fine.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I guess I'm fine then (an aroace)

[–] [email protected] 44 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Its true, I spent many nights undercover in gay bars, trying to identify homosexual men by whether or not they moaned when I sucked their dicks in the bathroom stall.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Ah geez, better get back to it.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I know it's a shit post, but for anyone not aware the FBI used to assist in the persecution of lgbt people and engage in all sorts of surveillance including infiltrating lgbt rights organizations.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/xg8dzn/-the-fbi-secretly-tracked-gay-activists-in-the-60s

https://outhistory.org/exhibits/show/fbi-history/2010-2019

So it's not only a shit post, but a shit post pointing out some very important recent history.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

A reminder that we need to take privacy seriously.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

James Webb was on the same side as the persecutors. How many NASA careers got cut short because of him?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Thank you for sharing.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Jokes on you. I'm bisexual

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

does that mean you're going to half-jail? maybe community service?

[–] [email protected] 68 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Can anyone recommend a good cock for beginners?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Your mom's lol

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

I find it's best to start with a small starter cock, such as the Little Richard.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Get the "Cocks for Dummies" book. It's fantastic and includes a starter cock.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago

For packing or inserting?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 months ago

How about mine?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Heard it on News Max. Must be true.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

"Real news for real people!" Yeah totally...

ΠŸΡ€Π°Π²Π΄Π°...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Maximum Nudes (men)

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