Raise a pack of cats then put your cat on guard your property.
Their meow will scare kids away
this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2024
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depending on where you're from you can hang up a sign saying "trespassing Children will be converted to Islam"
“Unattended Children Will be Gifted a Duckling”
Update your landscaping to modern fire-swamp and stock it with many rodents of unusual size.
Had a friend with problem neighbors kids cutting through his yard to get to the store. He was friendly with the parents and didn't want to stir shit. The neighbors were super all-natural, hippie, no chemical types, so he told them he switched to a new fertilizer packed with micro-plastics and forever chemicals made by Monsanto that he had to sneak in from Mexico because it wasn't allowed in the US. That fertilizer sure worked because the trail the kids were carving filled right in that summer.
Dismember one of the ducks and put it on display
Give the ducks a nice shower/sprinkler set up that's both timer and manually controlled.
Motion controlled
"There is at least one more bear trap on my grounds than you can spot."
A sign: "Ducks carry Avian flu, please keep 500 Meters away to avoid transmission risks"
My grandmom used to hang dead birds in her garden to warn others from coming to eat her berries. Maybe this works with kids too, you just need to get a dead one from somewhere first.
Start handing out kazoos.
Can I non-jokingly ask why that's such a big deal? If it's all up in your grill I get it, or some stupid liability thing. Otherwise, there's little enough joy in the world, what's the harm?
My biggest thing is people getting hurt on my property. Also, I have boundaries and don't want to be surprised by people just hanging out, especially because I have a super anxious dog.
That's fair. Sounds like a very reasonable way to explain it to the kids' parents, too, if you get the occasion.
I did that last night to the one person. She was cool about it. Like, I'm cool with them coming over to look at the birds, but I want warning first.
If you're cool with the parents, maybe set up visitation hours? Come up with a time that works for you and them, and then just make sure they know to give you a heads up before they make use of the predetermined time?
Seriously, embrace the situation. People are interested in hanging out with/near you. If you are the person who stops all the kids seeing the ducks you could end up being seen as the scrooge of the town. Then nobody will like you. If you want nobody to interact with then maybe you should live away from people.
It might seem like those kids have nothing to offer to you but their parents might. My wife makes jam for our friendly neighbors...
To address your question though, you could make it official, one day a week the kids come to see the ducks but maybe you need it quiet the rest of the time to work or whatever. Tell them when to come and they can get it out of their system.
Go back to Jersey tweakers
My joke answer is to directly tell them that they are not allowed to come on your lawn, to not let their kids do the same, and that it's your property, not a zoo.
This way you'll guarantee that your house is egged often enough that some of the eggs may not break, and some subset of those could be adopted by the ducks and hatched into baby birds that the kids also won't be able to come look at.
Charge admission.
Give Red Riding Hoods to all neighbors.
And mention by the way that you got wolves there, so the kids must wear them when they want to visit.
Obvious answer is to give the kids ducklings for every visit. Pressuring kids parents to stop their kids coming over without permission. Unless they want to own duck pets.
Or, the neighbourhood starts a new trend for duckling soup...
Get you some geese
Pro tip - feed them a handful of dandelion leaves twice a day, they'll be your best friends
I had geese once. It was awful lol
They fucking stink right enough 😂
You got a problem with Canadian geeses you got a problem with me. And I suggest you let that one marinate.
The plural of geese is "geese" old bean
Waterfowl are absolutely disgusting lmao.
Build a moat. It would certainly keep me out.
Now the ducks colonize the moat and you have two attractions. You may or may not also need a third - a drawbridge - for your own access.
Solve that problem with a portcullis. Now you have four attractions.
Woohoo, free swimming pool!
Now, a lava moat...
It wouldn't be a clean pool though.
Yeah, everyone knows the kids pee in there.
I was thinking more like it catches leaves and dead animals.
Decorate your home like a child's bedroom.
Have photos of only you everywhere, esp in the bathroom and hallways.
Invite just the parents over for dinner. Serve blue rare steaks and have the fanciest silverware arranged on the tables.
HIMARS
Build an exact replica of that area right next to the original. They'll be confused, are they visiting the real ducks or a simulacrum of the ducks?
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