this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
1572 points (99.4% liked)

Programmer Humor

19486 readers
566 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

This is how smart shuffle was born on spotify. No one wants that useless shit.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

the cursed postimage

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Stories of 80085, thanks.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

Com'on guys lets all give out our Calculator handlers

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This meme is the most those people have ever actually contributed to society as a whole.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What are you talking about? David kicked kinda good while having hair, and Victoria was in a band called the Spice Girls despite being a set square haunted by the ghost of a rice cracker.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Haunted by the ghost of a rice cracker

That’s just perfect imagery.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

That would be a better app for it

Either a ton of math tutorials or the calculator says boobs

[–] [email protected] 81 points 9 months ago (4 children)

You don't understand! If you don't keep adding new features, people will stop using your app!

Who wants simple apps that just work as intended, am I right?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Uaers need a $39.99p/m subscription to Calcly Pro.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

The actual problem is if you don't add new features, there's nothing for people to do beyond maintenance and you aren't going to keep good developers to only stick around for that.

So your option is new features or a new app entirely, but coming up with other good apps isn't easy and is a huge risk.

So if you actually did good market research and spoke to users, you could find new features to add.

Beyond a tiny company or sole developer, it doesn't really work.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Get out of here with these facts and work on that UI redesign we're due to ship next year.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

You mean the one that no one asked for, makes it harder to do the primary thing the app is designed to do, and all the involved developers have told management it's a bad idea with a detailed list of why?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

We've created an economy where that is not sustainable.

This fact is bad imo, but it's where we are.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 9 months ago (2 children)

The UNIX Tools Philosophy is that tools should do one thing, and they should do it well.
I wish more things followed this philosophy.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Hear hear. That's how the tools I write work as well.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago

Along with the even older philosophy of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (1 children)

CEOs changed the game completely after one of them played spiderman 2.
warning: the story might change the way you think how some developers are treated across the world.
for a full documentary, see this YouTube video(in German, but you can turn on the subtitles)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don't know if the game is the best example of busineses making top-down design decisions, since that game was an obvious scam from the start.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Not sure why? Just because you don't use or understand a feature, it does not mean nobody else wants it? Or do you have more insight into that?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I don't. but adding a "feature"(I call it bloat) that doesn't even work properly instead of, say, making search better might be a more sensible thing.
but as a commentor suspects, they might've added this because of black history month

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

I never saw that, that's legitimately funny. I'd love to be in the room when that feature was designed, and the reaction of the developer it was handed too.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

the CEO has read in this obscure online tech blog that ...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

12*2 = 24 and today I went to the store to buy some bananas but the all the bananas were too ripe #banan #banana #bananas #banani

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

That banana's name? Albert Einstein.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

More than likely, if it's a publicly traded company, it's the shareholders and the board of directors.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago

The board's job is to hire the CEO and demand good value for shareholders. The CEO's job is to make the big decisions to achieve that goal quickly and then usually leave before their short term thinking falls apart. The manager's job is to enforce whatever decisions the CEO makes, even if it is stupid or cruel. And the employee's job is to suffer so that each layer above can look good to the layer above them.

Not to say there's no good people in the system. My manager for most of my time there was actually a good manager who felt that his primary job was to deflect away the shit that rolled down from above so we could focus on our work, but then he got laid off along with half my coworkers.

I do miss writing software, but I really don't miss working in the corporate world.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

democracy ftw!

[–] [email protected] 37 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Now we need github for lesbians.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Isn't that just Sourceforge?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

git clone is a legit method for them to procreate

load more comments
view more: next ›