this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Breaking: Tech people have insane sexual interests. More at 8.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Dude watched Apothecary Diaries and said "I want exactly that please."

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)

You expect crypto junkies to be sane? You expect fintech "entrepreneurs" to be sane? You expect those who idolize Silicone Valley to be sane?

They don't represent ingenuity. They don't represent extremists. They don't even represent the NSFW Tumblr community. No, they represent the product of the most negligent parenting, being raised in an environment where they can say whatever they want and get whatever they want. They are a blight upon our society and no tears should be wept for them as they rot their existence away in the darkest, dankest prison imaginable with not even a slither of sunlight to grace their forsaken souls.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

hey now. prisons are unethical.

guillotines are not.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

There, there

[–] [email protected] 41 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Ah, ranked Polyamory. Are they going to add ELO in the next update? Seasonal resets, perhaps?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

C O M P E T I T I V E S E X

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

And like with League of Legends, I bet SBF was hardstuck in bronze.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Google Calendar DLCs

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Elo is not an acronym, so you don't need to put it in all-caps.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Electric Light Orchestra. Jeff Lynne has entered the relationship.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

They basically reinvented concubinal ranked competitive polyamoury.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

They wanted a vampire community.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

This. Normies can’t understand the thrill of pinning the weasel. Night spent chasing an over amphetamined Caroline around the bean bag forts. Her squealing and gibbering, pouring sweat and on the verge of seizing. Your friends build up an intoxicating, delerious state with Talmudic chantings at the sidelines, hitting the Caroline-toy with brooms if she tries to escape. Sam would be giggling and laughing as the waves of methamphetamine pleasure seem to harmonize with the droning herbrew verses. He runs through the bean bag maze fat and portly, with his viagra powered penis a driving rod for the weasel. Sweat gushing down his face around his unfocused eyes he laughs and chortles until he gasps “Found you!” . The Mathweasel screeches defensively but Wankman Bankman is upon her in seconds. His penis thrusting blindly into her flank, leg, stomach and ribs unconcerned about anything but the motion. Eventually serendipity finds her mouth and the Cocktube Rodent is placated, suckling contently on Bankman’s dehydrated dick.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago

You know, thinking about it I feel like literacy might be overrated.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

I Have Eyes And I Must Not

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

So is this the opposite of my IWW-ass polycule?

I’m fine with that

[–] [email protected] 52 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Techbros have gotten so dogmatic and up their own asses that they're becoming Mormons.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (4 children)

But have tech bros donated million$ to invalidate my marriage, I ask

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

yeah, even the gay ones.

also wrote the algorithms that made all young men and everyone's grandparents Nazis.

then just made it worse when people pointed it out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

fuck I knew that shit always creeper me out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

If you're LGBTQ+, very likely. There's some pretty awful people with a lot of money in The Valley.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

If you believe the point of marriage is to reproduce, then tech bros investing in pointless energy usage that makes the planet unsuitable for future generations sort of invalidates your marriage.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago

Do they Jack Welch and dump the lowest performer every quarter?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Said ugly people

[–] [email protected] 180 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Got so tired of casual sex that they created competitive ranked sex.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Ugh, I hate it when I'm just trying to have some casual, fun sex and some no-life loser starts yelling at me that she's actually Gold 3 at ranked sex in her main account before reporting me for "throwing"

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Well honestly I have the skills of a diamond rank but the matchmaking keeps putting me in with silver rank teammates so I guess I'll never get out of (barely) gold

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm not usually this bad at ranked orgies, the season meta just sucks

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

God I miss early Sex before oral and pronebone got nerfed to hell

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

😂 I feel you, oral was a big part of my range

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This is just the Dark Eldar with less body horror

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This site needs more people. It should not take 5 hours for someone to respond to this comment with a joke about having to see Sam Bankman Fried naked.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

He strikes me as the type that is largely unkept. Probably makes his chosen ones battle it out under the shade of a large flakey bush.