this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2024
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Anon catches feelings (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago (2 children)

"Happiness is a trap. It can’t last forever. Let’s say you meet the love of your life, well, it’s still gonna end. It’s inevitable, whether by the slow pull of a disease, or the shock of loose footing on a hiking trail, whether it be the corrosion of two personalities that reshape each other until they’re incompatible, or maybe the old stranger in a bar who says the things that need to be said, to that person, that night. The point is, happiness always ends. Best case scenario, think about this. Best case is that you die at the same time. Yikes."

- Rick and Morty (of course)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I mean literally everything will end, entropy is the ultimate force in the universe. But while that means your happiness is not going to last, it also means your saddness will not last either. This realization that nothing lasts creates sort of an obligation to just live in and experience the present moment.

  • paraphrased from Terrence McKenna
[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I've been considering watching this and Bojack Horseman based on little snippets like this one, but have been disappointed in the past by other shows that don't really keep the energy going. Is the rest of it like this?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Going into anything with low expectations is usually best.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

This quote is from the most recent episode that aired in December last year. It varies wildly in quality, with seasons 5 and 6 in particular having a lot of episodes that aren't very good, but I think season 7 was an improvement (it's also when they got rid of Roiland). There's plenty of nihilistic "ha ha everything sucks" humor like this, but some of their best episodes have heartwarming moments in them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

I never been loved but I felt what he wrote.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This is the 19yo version of Im14andthisisdeep. Im19andthisis... I can't quite find the term for what this is, but I feel like these are some pretty basic 19yo emotions.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I dunno, some people have been pretty well adjusted to a normal life in the sense of having relationships and heartbreak but also a loving family and happy childhood, while others simply haven't and couldn't distinguish a sincere compliment from sarcasm.

Doesn't happen to everyone, but it's nice when you get a glimpse of what others take for granted.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Good drugs if you got the cash

[–] [email protected] 35 points 7 months ago (6 children)

Thought they were going to be “forever alone” at 19? Kids are so dramatic these days.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

It's literally always been like that but okay.

Y'all mfers need to read the definition of angst.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

they have a lot of drama in their lives these days, all of which is our fault, so that's not surprising

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

i thought that at 17 but I've been right so far... ;-;

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

This is very much not a new thing

[–] [email protected] 37 points 7 months ago

This days? I felt like this decades ago at 15, it's not drama, in my case it was depression

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Social media is fucked, dude. It's the norm to always feel like you're missing out.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

When I was a kid I didn't know anyone who really was in a serious relationship until about 20 at the earliest and that was normal.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Don't connect your self worth to a relationship.

And remember the percentage of living matter in this universe is basically zero, but you are part of it. And not only that, but you belong to the most advanced species we know, in the most advanced time yet. So you are pretty fucking special just by existing. You deserve your own love.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I know that's supposed to be encouraging but it's a pretty poor showing all the all you've got to be happy about.

I don't understand this attitude that I'm not allowed to be unhappy because I don't live in the middle ages or something.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Just as I am allowed to look for positive stuff, you/we all are (of course) allowed to feel unhappy, I think. I really didn't want to lecture, just wanted to provide a perspective.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 7 months ago (1 children)

And remember the percentage of living matter in this universe is basically zero, but you are part of it. And not only that, but you belong to the most advanced species we know, in the most advanced time yet. So you are pretty fucking special just by existing.

I don't think this is going to do anything for people who feel their life sucks

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Sometimes it helps (at least me) to remind myself of thoughts that are positive and somewhat rational.
But of course, some words cannot change all that much.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

I will never know that feeling. Not even my own mother loved me and my dad was colder than a coworker. Maybe I should try heroin...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Meth is way better at least you have a decent chance of getting something neat done before you descend into hellish addiction.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Just because you didn't feel it up until now, doesn't mean that you will never feel it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Putting hope into other people to make yourself feel better is unimaginably cruel.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I respect your optimism, I think you're right in a way. For a lot of lonely people this is probably true that they can find someone maybe, even if not guaranteed. But not for me, I'm just functional to go through life and not loveable enough because I don't know how.

You can work yourself out of a traumatized childhood but one can never truly get rid of it. Imagine double guessing every reaction of yourself, because you never know if it's natural or if it's because you're emotionally starved. Imagine double guessing affections towards you, because you are unable to tell malicious intent.

Imagine the most horrible childhood, with all sorts of abuse and only remove sexual assault from it, that's what I went through. Then you know why I don't look as optimistic at finding love. I haven't given up on myself, I'm just realistic. I'd need a women that has a lot of energy, to make me grow again. Like a plant that dried out and you got to water and care for it, for years, never knowing if it will ever flower again. I've not met such person yet, not even remotely.

You'd think that there's a chance, but I'm not sure how to date with this huge backpack, while every conversation is focused with a microscope to find early red flags, on both sides. Doesn't matter how content I'm with my life. I just got to accept dying never knowing what love feels like.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I'm in the same boat. People who had loving parents will never understand this. While I'm sure some exist, the vast majority of people are not going to put in the twice as much effort to date someone who's been deprived of affection their entire life. There is zero reason to go for that over a normal, healthy, emotionally secure person.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

The thing is, there are people just like you that are romantically compatible with you. While you're mostly correct that a "normal (whatever that is), healthy, emotional secure person" will likely not date you, plenty that are similar to you will, because they're facing the same dilemma as you.

What I'm saying is, maybe you're looking for the wrong people. Love from a non-normal, non-healthy, non-emotionally secure person is just as much love and as amazing as love from any other person.

And you might even grow through that love, or you both will.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (2 children)

On the other hand, I'm not sure I've met anyone who quite fits the bill of a normal, healthy, emotionally secure person. Everybody I know is fairly messed up, and most of them never figure out that they are, much less actually work on themselves.

Just be aware of and frank about your issues while working on them. You can't build character without adversity, and character is attractive.

I am admittedly, in a similar boat. But I wouldn't want to date anyone who hasn't been through some shit. How could we ever relate?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Ding ding ding.

"Normal" people are just ao traumatized of being forced to be "normal" that they continue the abusive cycle of equating "normal" with "good". "Normal" people are not less traumatized than "non-normal"/weird people. Their trauma is just repressed and barely visible.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

This is it, everybody is fucked up (to some level), they just don’t show it or know it. It took me going to therapy at 30+ to begin to even understand the impact by upbringing had on me. I had it fairly easy, only child of divorced parents who tolerated each other for me, but still struggled hard until my early 20s, and it still has significant impact on who I am and what kind of difficulties I face e.g. in my job.

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