this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Seeing all these “just get a giant key chain” comments reminds me that Lemmy’s core user base is the software engineer who stores a giant keychain in his cargo shorts, along side a multitool and the world’s thickest wallet.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You mean it’s NOT an accurate random sample of reality?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Wait. Everyone isn’t running Linux on their daily driver?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

This could make me carry around my keys on a retractable lanyard like a postal worker.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Just use a keychain that is bigger that the grill pitch, any small trinket will do.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

But then you need to carry around a big keychain.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (3 children)

NO.

If anyone has a term for this specific phobia, please let me know

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

llllkeyllllphobia. Makes about as much sense as some other phobia names!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

His palms are sweaty
Knees weak, arms are heavy...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Some window screen and zip ties would solve that problem.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Looks like a job for Michael Scott's Toilet Buddy (formerly known as Toilet Guard)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

House owner: That's $499 for a new key.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

If you had a basement that lead up to that drain you could put some mesh angled down, busy a hole into the the drain from your basement and if some stranger tries to grab your keys you can drop them inside.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

if some stranger tries to grab your keys you can drop them inside.

When it finally happens "HA, I've been waiting 49 years for this exact situation! they all said I crazy." Old man shouts at sky "I told you Grettle that I'd have a use for that hole someday!!!"

A few moments later "Now, how do I get to the basment with no key"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (2 children)

You could just get a largish key chain accessory.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

this guy drops (his keys)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I think you'd be in gas-station-keyring territory to do the job reliably. How about a hubcap?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

I prefer those little plastic shovels.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

Cheap pickset and learn to do it: priceless. No. 1 life skill.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

At least where i live your regular home locks are secure enough that non-destructive entry requires specialized tools and close to LPL level skill. In my country there was once a serial burglar that could do that and for a long time police didnt even believe the that there even was any burglary.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You in one of those schmancy countries where everyone’s got them fucken assa abloys on their tool sheds?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Ye but the sheds have the worse assa abloys

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I work at a JEWELERY STORE and ONE of our doors has an assa abloy.

To be fair the other door opens to a highway, so would-be burglars would have to be ballsy.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

I don't even know what continent youre on and I'm already trying to think of how to rob you.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Frogger irl

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

Until you drop that down the grate too

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

Lockpicklawyer alt account detected /jk

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

Look... If you had... one shot... or one opportunity... To open every door you ever wanted... one moment... Would you capture it? Or just let it slip? Yo His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drops bombs, but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud He opens his hands but the keys won't come out He's chokin, how? Everybody's jokin now The clock's run out, time's up, over - BLAOW!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Folded beach towel is one and done

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

My partners keys would be safe

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