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Mid 80's Bronco. My ex insisted that she had to have a bronco. It had a 302 in it, but holy hell. I am sure it was the fact that they were still trying out emissions schemes but I bet it had less than a hundred hp. It would barely move out of it's own way, and if you got about 6mpg you considered yourself lucky. Toss in an oil leak and it was like driving the Exxon Valdez. I can't decide if the best day of my life was getting rid of the bronco, or her....
Narrator: Both....
I have driven and found joy in many cars: Pinto, beetle, 2CV, original 500s, 1940s Ford tractors, beater pickups including a 1949 International, HMMWV, etc. Mopeds (like 1970s Puch), ratty motorcycles. They all make me giggly.
I had to think a few minutes about one that was just terrible, no redeeming points I could find: first (north american) gen Hyunda Excel What a soul-sucking turd.
70s chevy nova. Classic car for hot rodding, but drove like a tank compared to my 90s nissan sentra. Ergonomics were not great either.
We had a brace of rented Nissan cargo vans at work, the small ones. Those were truly terrible. They had CVT transmissions that just would not hook up. I'd get to the top of an SF hill at a stop sign and just sit there with my foot planted, waiting.
We replaced them with Ford Transits. The CVT in that model is only slightly more usable, but we all still fight over who gets the older model, with the torque converter.
Haven't driven a load, but I've test-driven a Fiat Bravo (diesel). The sightlines were terrible, and it handled like a tractor.
I actually don't know the manufacturer or model.
My childhood friend had a car in the late 90's that was like Fiat Strada, but the style was little more Japanese. My friend had ripped off all insignias and tags.
Car was a nightmare to drive. It had very little power, top speed was about 130km/h and it wobbled oddly in turns. Even the gear stick was bendy plastic thing and it was hard to tell if the gear was really in or not.
My wife's old 2004 Honda Civic. It was the worst piece of shit I've ever had the displeasure of driving. And it was super unreliable to boot!
It was dangerously slow. Getting on the freeway always required full throttle to get up to speed in time, which was never enough. Some cars egg you on, "Go faster! Let me rev! I love revs! Speeeeeed! Power!" This thing was like Eeyore on Adavan, "Huh? Power? If I have to. Ththrhtbbt. That's the best I can do."
The "top rated" Goodyear tires we put on it were fucking awful as well. The tire compound was super hard, so despite the pitiful power, you could always spin the front tires in the dry. Despite the hard tire compound, they wore out 20,000 miles before their warranty was up. One time while exiting the freeway, the shit box decided it wanted to oversteer (the tail slid out) as I went around a corner at a very reasonable speed. Luckily, I was able to hold the slide and correct it (which was pretty cool). I like to push cars and to go fast, but I've never ever had a front wheel drive car oversteer on me before, especially at super low speeds. This isn't really the car's fault, but the shit tires come with the shit territory.
It had no safety features other than seatbelts and a couple airbags. No anti-lock brakes. No traction control. It had manual windows (fine, I guess), manual mirrors (eww), and manual door locks (gag me with a spoon!).
Despite all these omissions, it had alloy wheels and a spoiler from the factory! Oh, but it's ok, it's the fucking "value package" so all my friends won't know I cheaped out on a car until they have to wait for me to get in the car to unlock their doors!
In the 4 years she had it, the following broke:
What an awful car. Still, at least the previous owner left a new condom in the glove box when she bought it.
Eeyore on Adavan
Despite all these omissions, it had alloy wheels and a spoiler from the factory!
Thanks for the laughs
A 2018 Nissan Frontier. It was a loaner car while my Pathfinder as in the shop, and because it was brand new I thought it would be nice inside. But it wasn't. It had no power anything, a four speed automatic, and only AM/FM/CD. But the worst part was the floor was so high I was basically sitting with my legs straight in front of me. The ride was bumpy as hell, and the noise was so bad the little four speaker radio could barely be heard.
Honestly, my 2010 Silverado (RIP) was a nicer truck, if only because it was heavier so the ride wasn't as bad.
Chevrolet Cavalier. A good engine (L61)... but that's all. Literally everything else was ultra cheap and broke.
Ooh man, I’ve driven a lot of rentals for work…
I hated hated hated the Nissan Cube. Thankfully the check engine light came on within two hours of me picking it up so I got to swap it.
But I think the one that takes the cake is actually a vacation rental car. My husband and I rented a car when we went to Belgium. It was an Opel Corsa. It struggled to even reach the speed limit on highways and definitely couldn’t go above it. The funniest thing was that all the Audis and BMWs in Belgium didn’t even bother to tailgate us; they saw us ahead of them and moved over to pass well before they got to us. They knew. That thing was hilariously bad at being a car. I was also a new stick shift driver and it was very difficult. We then went to Switzerland where we got a VW Polo and suddenly I got a whole lot better at driving stick, lol.
Hahaha. A rented Opel was what came to mind for me as well. Followed by Plymouth Crossfire and Chevy HHR.
1994 Oldsmobile cutlass supreme. Gutless and with that horrible 4 speed automatic gave my murderous thoughts. Oh and that god awful rear suspension.
Jeep. All of them. Rickety. Not built well. Terrible gas mileage. Bad on highways. Bad on city streets. I literally got bruises on my butt on an off road trail in one of them. Just absolute shit cars.
They're terrible street cars but offroad there's really nothing more capable unless you plan to custom build a rig. If you want a smooth ride offroad it will be way to soft for on the road and vice versa. Jeeps from the factory are designed on a compromise between the two so they're not really good at either. The build quality on modern jeeps is absolutely terrible though and the majority of jeep owners never use them for what they're intended for so I generally agree with you. But ride in a jeep that's properly setup for strictly offroad driving and you'd be amazed.
I think it was a 1998-ish Pontiac Grand Prix. I dated two different women that drove that car and so I had to ride around in them and sometimes drive them. Both were just a train wreck of problems. They shook violently sitting at a red light, the brakes always seemed to be failing, and everything that could break was falling off the cars. It’s weird that two women I dated owned the same car but more so that they both had the same problems.
The worst car I’ve ever driven was also the best because it lasted me until I was able to get on my own two feet and afford a new one: Nissan Sentra 97’.
I rented a 2020 Mitsubishi Outlander in 2022 and it was amazing how unresponsive it was. It's a small SUV with the engine of a hamster. It has a "sport mode" that really struggled to get me up some hills in Colorado.
Also, the rubber seal for the door, on 3 of the doors, was constantly feel off and could be worn as a second seatbelt.
I once had a loaner from a dealer that was a Dodge Caliber. Ugly as sin and the transmission was definitely on its way out. That car was just a struggle. It was a reminder why I will never buy a Chrysler product.
A 1971 Chrysler Newport.
The thing was a boat. You’d hit a bump in the road, and the car would act like you crested a wave and bob front to back a few times. It was wider than most pickup trucks and probably heavier. Not only could it not fit in most parking spots, it could hardly fit in some lanes. Required leaded gas, which was getting hard to find at that point. If you needed to go uphill you had to build up speed because you would slow down, even with the gas pedal floored.
The best part is that when I finally brought it in for service, the mechanic came out and said “You’ve been driving that thing??” Three out of four motor mounts had broken and the last one was about rusted through.
It did have an 8-track though, and came with a bunch of Elvis tapes.
I hated Elvis, but did manage to find an 8-track of Peter Paul and Mary.
A Hyundai Elantra, it let me down in so many ways. Financially, spiritually, etc.
A fleet/company car. A Chevette. I pressed the accelerator to the floor, the engine went "huh? you want what?"