Asklemmy

my uncles old moskvich-412, shortly before he bought a new toyota. was a fun experience though.

I may have over simplified. In the UK, especially in Yorkshire, the roads are hilly and twisty. We mostly drive manual cars, so we can ride the engine instead of the brakes when descending long steep hills. The Grand voyager struggled, and while I could lock that slush box of an auto in lower gears, it was not happy about it.

A Ford Expedition from a car rental place. It felt like driving around a ten ton brick through molasses. It was the least responsive and awkward shit box I've ever had the displeasure of piloting. It was so bad I literally drove to the nearest rental place to exchange it for a smaller car.

Easily the Daihatsu cuore 2003-ish.

I've driven a lot of shitboxes, including a couple different daihatsu models, but that thing just isn't build right.

UAZ Cabriolet

It’s clearly the worst car money can buy. Before starting the engine, you need to check which liquids have leaked out and add some accordingly. Pretty much anything and everything can and will leak. Who needs a gym when just turning the wheel is a workout. If you want to listen to hardbass while driving, you need to bring your own stereo with you since this car doesn’t have one. It’s the only car that can be improved by a mechanical failure. When the engine or transmission inevitably dies, you’re finally free from this torment.

0/10, would not recommend

03 Ford Focus. Terrible transmission, on board computer fried, all kinds of random engine and sensor issues. Finally found an honest mechanic that said it would cost more to fix everything wrong with it than to just take the L and get a new car. Took a loss on the loan and bought a Camry. Best decision I could’ve made. Nothing but Toyota since.

Lexus GS300. Great car to drive. But every fucking thing that went wrong was at least £400. Door check strap? £400. Windscreen wiper? £400. Parking sensor? £400, and all eight of them need doing, and that's £400 PER FUCKING SENSOR. Everything's main dealer only. Merc was no better. £600 for a fucking HOSEPIPE. Also tried BMW (bike). Same problem. Had a CANBUS system. I started calling it a CAN'T BUS cos every tiny thing that went wrong shut the entire bike down. Duff indicator? Sorry, won't start the engine until it's fixed. Yes that means it's got to be trailered to the dealer.

No more fancy marques for me, they can all fuck off until I'm a billionaire. I drive Volvos now.

I'm still not quite over it. Whenever the garage tells me there's going to be a big bill on my Volvo I think OMG how many digits, but then they say something like £150. That's a big bill? Hahahahahahahahaha.

Chrysler grand voyager. It was relatively new, but omg it felt borderline dangerous. It was actually funny for the first 10 mins but I had to deliver this POS few hours away. On a straight smooth road it was like driving a sofa, comfy and soft. Once it entered a corner it turned into a boat, and stopping hard twice in a row had limited success. I asked the dealer where I delivered it too about how it handled. Apparently this is standard behaviour for Cryslers, and in the US it is fine (straight roads, limited hard breaking) and they love soft cars. In the UK we expect cars to stop and go round corners so we notice just how bad the Grand voyager is.

I won't drive a Crysler again.

Dodge Magnum So little visibility there is about 6" of plastic blocking your view from every tiny ass window and a good so big ya may as well be driving a truck. Absolutely nothing good about that POS

Citroën C3, although I have only ever driven in 4 vehicles: Mercedes C180, Mazda MX5 Miata (thanks @[email protected]), a RV fiat ducato ..... And the Citroen.

I wouldn't say the car is terrible. But for the same money you could have gotten way better stuff. The best thing about it is the giant front windscreen.

A 1980 MGB.

The fuel gauge was only loosely related to the fuel level, I ran out repeatedly before learning to use the odometer instead.
The dashboard switches would sometimes disintegrate, springs fly out, when you flipped them.
The electric radiator fan was controlled by a relay that melted if the fan ran too much, and the engine would overheat. I lived in Arizona at the time.
The brake system totally failed in traffic and I had to stop from 40 MPH using the emergency brake. I think that was the most scared I have ever been in a car.
The supposed catalytic converter was an empty shell (I bought the car used, I did not do this) so once a year I would take it to the mechanic, who would tune it to pass emissions, get it tested, and immediately take it back to the mechanic to make it drivable again. The statute of limitations has run out so I can admit that.
Finally, the water pump failed in an incontinent way when I tried to sell it, the buyer had second thoughts after that and I had to fix it and start over selling.
It was cute, cheap, and drove well, but a creation of Hell.

An old Kia Optima. It wasn't really horrible but it was so incredibly bland and boring in every measure.