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Ear ring? You can get ones you don't need to pierce for, and most chuds don't wear them, especially if they look "girly".

Cute scarves/bandanas, especially if they're colorful or patterned differently.

If you are into that, loud print or colored shirts on top of your t shirts? It's the nb special for a reason.

As to glasses, maybe something with a thicker frame, or a non-traditional shape (e.g. Round) will make your face look less aggressive. Definitely avoid anything sporty-looking or Oakley-adjacent.

All of this being said, I think we have to be aware about the way we present to the world, and accommodate other people for it, without taking it personally. I present male most of the time (because it's easier and I feel safer), and I am aware that if I'm walking on the street and I'm behind a woman, she has a reasonable justification to be suspicious of me.

I'm not a predator, and it sucks that a random stranger feels threatened by my presence, but I realize that I can do is cross the street or take a detour, so the person feels safer. Privilege, even if it's only perceived by others, can make not privileged people feel uneasy, so it's up to the privileged to either remove themselves from the situation, or go out of their way to signal they're not a threat, and more importantly, learn to accept when people still treat them like a threat because of their privilege.

A former coworker had this problem, some of the people I work with would say some transphobic shit about me behind my back to him and he’d tell them off

I would say that you shouldn't care what others think about your clothes, but you should care about what you wear. I've seen people wear some very interesting outfit choices, but the person just looked like they were supposed to be there. They put some thought into their choices and it showed, even if it was something I personally wouldn't wear. If you like a certain article of clothing, build around it. If you like dark colors, add some greys to contrast the dark tones. You could also add an accessory or two for style points

Yeah, as a fellow white guy approaching 40 with very traditionally masculine tastes and interests you really aren't going to be able to avoid it. People who know you will know and that's all that super matters.

I think just the barest little counter-messaging could still be helpful if that's your concern. You don't need to wear a hat with "marg bar amerikkka" printed on four sides, but a little rainbow wristband or something will get a message across to most people without drawing a huge amount of attention unless you're in a really chuddy place.

Personally I think most people probably profile me as like a channer or a drug dealer, but well, I think that most people aren't going to make very grave assumptions about you and if you aren't a chud, it'll probably become obvious if you just behave in a manner that shows even an interest in being empathetic to them. You come across as gentle enough -- partly for asking this question at all -- so I think most people aren't going to stubbornly hold on to an image of you as a rightist, and those that do (because of trauma or something, I'd expect) aren't going to be persuaded by you wearing an earring.

Contrary idea, go full but Chinese flags

Should I try to change my appearance or should I just learn not to give shit?

Dress how you want to comrade, whatever you're comfortable in. You're probably worrying about something that's not really necessary.

May your field of fucks to give be barren.

it's the haircut. don't get the kind of Nazi cut that Andrew Schultz has, for example.

on the plus side you get to defy expectations when new people meet you. that’s always pretty fun

I probably shouldn't care

This is correct.

Honest question.

Do chuds look like dumb footbal fans with big trucks and Bud Lights talking about Merica assholes or like the Nothing Ever Happens meme guy? I always figured it was the former.

From your description you sound more metal than chud.

If you make this face, stop making this face

You're probably worrying about something that isn't there. I sincerely doubt anyone is gonna assume youre a chud just cause of that look. A lot of perfectly cool people also rock that look. If i could be bold I think the commonality with chuds that you're worried about is having no sense of style. All black clothes and no logo just sounds like people would think youre into metal based on the rest of your look.

So if you wanna keep going on the sol black thing and make thet work that's how I dress so i can say what I do at least. My shirts are either borderline rags or black button up dress shirts. I cut the collar and at least half the sleeve off of em, theyre also mostly punk band shirts. I'll get into making your own graphics later. For pants, skinny is best, baggy black pants kinda just look like a blob cause its harder to see the folds and stuff that can make baggy lighter pants look cooler (im anti baggy for pants regardless but I get a baggy blue jean better than a baggy black jeans. Having a jacket that goes with most of what you wear also rules. I recommend getting 2 nice black jeans jackets that fit good and turning one into a vest for summer time. Then you're all black but the different fabric and tones will add some distinction. I don't give a shit about shoes, but don't wear white ones with all black unless you need to. I mostly wear nondescript non slip sneakers that I get tax write-offs for cause of my job and have engineer boots that are the only thing I shelled out any real money for.

For graphics id start by learning to stencil and then see if anywhere in your town has a screen printing workshop you could take part in. Or just buy the gear. Its worth it.

For stencils, make or find a design and make it stencil friendly. In grocery stores around the plastic wraps and stuff you can find something called freezer paper, its cheap af and the important part is its waxed on just one side. So you can draw your design on the unwaxed side, cut it out with an exacto knife and then use an iron or even just a the bottom of a pot you heated up a bit on the stove to melt the waxed side down. Then you can just go over it with a paint roller. The wax will keep the paint from seeping through l. Just make sure to seal around the graphic real good for clean lines. You can get fabric paint at any art store, it costs a bit but you can dilute it with regular cheap acrylic to 2/3rds acrylic although you'll get a top layer that will either flake or wash off, what's underneath should be sturdy. I still have patches and stuff I made back in high school 20 years ago that look fine.

The most time efficient thing you can do is paint your fingernails. It's easy, CHUDs don't paint their nails, they don't require much maintenance, and you can keep all your regular clothes. You can even just do black fingernail paint and you still will get rid of chud energy.

You are enough as you are now and you should be kinder to yourself.

Now for some suggestions:

Regarding glasses I suggest getting two pairs, if possible, for the purpose of redundancy. If one is broken or gets lost having a second pair will prevent it from becoming a catastrophe. One of those pairs should be fun. Fun can mean a lot of things, it can be an interesting shape or an uncommon color or something else. There are guides out there about matching face shape to lens shape but its all up to you, trust your judgement.

Accessories! 4th Reich dudes dont really go around with bracelets and necklaces, and they tend to avoid piercings. If you want to get your ears pierced its inexpensive, the aftercare is easy and the healing process is quick, plus there are a zillion options for earrings. If you've ever considered something more adventureous like a brow piercing or what have you, go for it! It can be a very liberating experience.

Pins are very explicitly state where you stand and what you believe in. Its extremely rare to be challenged for whatever pins youre wearing and it is very common to recieve compliments over them. I can personally attest that many trans people notice, and greatly appreciate it when people wear symbols that indicate their allyship.

I also think that you (and many others) would benefit from developing a personal sense of style. Confidence in the way one presents themselves translates into confidence in general. It's easier than you might think, although it takes time and a little effort. I have some pointers on that if youre interested.

Addendum: yes also wearing masks is a pretty strong signal AND they serve a practical purpose. Its really nice basically never getting sick.

A hammer and sickle tattoo

I'm also going to be getting glasses in the next few days and have to decide on a frame. What should I get to try to minimize chud appearance? I have kind of a squarish face but maybe a bit rounder now as I get older. Do certain kinds of glasses scream redditor or chud? Any advice on what I should go for is welcome.

I feel like the right pair of glasses can "soften" your look enough to look less chuddy. I personally like ones with keyhole bridges, rounder shapes, and tortoise shell style plastic, but your personal taste can vary. I'd say just be willing to be a little more adventurous with your frames - maybe even pick a fun color or odd shape if that appeals to you!

I tend to think there's a certain type of rectangular rimless glasses that read stemlord redditor, and the oakley wraparound style reads very chud to me.