this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Mommy? How was I born?

With about 250 RPMs, Honey.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Backstory of Furiosa

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Well thank goodness.. there's a net

[–] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Does this work for constipation?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Not with a net, you'd need something sturdy and not full of holes to catch the turds

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yes... A finer net perhaps... 🤔

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Brown mist, nope.jpg

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

And you better hope to God that the machine doesn't slow down in such a way that the shit falls back onto you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago

...and why aren't we funding this? Effective AND fun!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I want to see a test run with a pillow case and a watermelon

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

Zoidberg, what are you doing in here?

Zoidberg: I live here.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm guessing this was before anyone realized that shaking babies is a bad thing?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago (2 children)

shaking is not the same as spinning.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

What about a few Gs on an unformed skull?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

skulls are really flexible when that young. forceps are used and deform skulls. lots of things do at that point, even “normal” birth. they usually bounce back into pretty good shape.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

why did "baby badminton" pop into my mind

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

I see a you know how to make Martinis

[–] [email protected] 45 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I pitched this exact idea to my fiancé a few days ago (and have no clue why it came up). she didn't think it was a good idea, but now I can tell her that it was good enough to patent.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Don't knock the Vomitron until you've tried at least one birth in it

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Helps with pregnancy nausea AND child birth! Just flip the seat direction and you are ready to expectorate whatever you want out!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Which is good news for her, too, since in this case you can't just build it yourself

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (2 children)

She and I don't want to make kids, so it isn't immediately applicable anyway. That being said, I am an experimental nuclear and particle physics PhD student, so I am at least 85% sure that I could convince my boss that we need a medium size centrifuge in the lab and make some... adjustments... upon completion.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

I mean, what about easier poops?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

If you really don't want to have kids, sure! This sounds like a good plan

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

We (maybe) want kids, she just doesn't want to ever be pregnant, so adoption is our route if anything.

This would be the worst of both worlds: A pregnancy that we don't even get one of the little shits from! She'll have to deal though, science demands that we try it at least once.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago

Bad and naughty babies get delivered in the pregnancy spinner

[–] [email protected] 65 points 7 months ago (4 children)

We did this after space travel and programming language.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It seems like a great way to send ~50% of the babies birthed out in space. Just remove the net, speed it up, and tilt it 90°, then you have a coin flip chance at space babies or crater babies.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Have you ever read anything so absurd that you just start laughing uncontrollably but it's after midnight and you don't want to wake your spouse so you real quick clamp down to hold it in and then your gut hurts from all the heaving?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Sometimes it is worth the brief verbal abuse and getting slapped with a pillow by an exhausted SO.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago

This is due to underrepresentation of women in science. Sure we send a phallus to the moon before this.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

this one got an ugly laugh out of me, thank you.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes scientists think about if they could, not if they should.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I think calling the designer of this contraption a scientist is being very kind to him.

I assume it was a him? right?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

I just looked it up, it was apparently a husband and wife team that patented it.