Ask Lemmy

Befriend an idealised version of yourself and start stealing fat from the backyards of clinics that practice liposuction. Then make soap and "other stuff" with the fat while you build a secret society of homeless people and use it to destroy the very infrastructure of world economy and finance.

You should be fine.

Eat a bullet.

Find an abandoned building and make it a home. Steal resources from those that can afford to lose them. Become a professional hobo. Teach others and raise a hobo army called The Hob Nobs. Take over the United Kingdom and rebrand it the United Hob Nobdom. Free healthcare and education for everyone. Eton becomes a school for children with learning disabilities. Prisoners are rehabilitated, royal family and aristocracy are imprisoned. Public policy is based on reasoned argument, scientific principles and evidence based. Drugs are legalised. Conservatism is banned. Money is abandoned. War is illegal. Everyone is happy.

Overdose and die.

I'd start by checking into a homeless shelter. Then I'd get a job within walking distance. That's the hard part, the walking distance part.

I was in ALMOST this situation in summer of 2022. I was homeless, and stayed in a shelter, and got myself a job. But I wasn't penniless. I had maybe a hundred bucks when I started, meaning I could ride the bus to work.

The lower you go, the harder it gets. So my solution would have been impossible without the bus fare.

The shelter had a very early curfew. 6:30 pm or something like that. It would have been impossible to walk to the job simply based on time -- about two hours' walk to and from which wouldn't leave enough time between wakeup and curfew to get to work, work, and get back.

The lower you go, the harder it gets. That's one of the most useful things to know about life. If you take a break and you slide back, that break just made your life harder. Below a certain threshold, you can't climb back up again.

I got out of homelessness, but I had the benefit of mental health, and of being pretty tough already when I became homeless. I guess toughness is an aspect of mental health, so suffice to say I had the key ingredient to get out of that which was mental health. Well, and a functioning philosophy of life.

It's sad how easy it is to tell who's from the US and EU here.

Basically "you're fucked, be a criminal or die" versus, "go to the Social Services and tell them you're homeless"

If you're in the US, you're screwed. If you're in Europe, you can go to the social services office and they'll set you up in an apartment and get you on a path to a job or education.

I would go the Social Services office and explain my situation. Provided I could prove my identity I would walk out with a couple hundred dollars cash, an address for decent temporary accommodations, and an appointment with a case worker to find a more permanent solution for me.

That's the security of the Nordic welfare state.

Learn to pick locks. Steal food from dumpsters. Get a job with a locksmith. Aquire shelter. Make friends.

I'm a woman so I would become a temp prostitute. I would avoid hard drugs. Bank roll and buy a van. Live in van. Great success.

I mean, realistically I probably don't

I was there last year. I sat in the men's shelter and job hunted. Then I ran my money out at hotels before moving in with a friend from the men's shelter.

A lot of those other dudes at the men's shelter who literally couldn't do a job were basically fucked though. It's depressing that I can't do anything for them and they're all on timers before they gotta face the weather and evil police.

OP's mother already has me on retainer

Sell some plasma, spend the money on Fent and kill myself.

I did this pretty much, except I did have a car and family, but I was stubborn and refused help from my family, so really just the car.

Get to a bigger midwest/ rust belt city (Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, St Louis, Cleveland) cost of living is low which is good for you, and in my experience not many people are moving there so tons of people are hiring at jobs with no requirements (I got a job in like 2 days). Try and get two jobs close to each other, probably downtown. You'll save up money way quicker and have less time to deal with living on the streets.

Find a public park, preferably one with those grills and a water fountain. You can cook food over a fire on thee grill, simple things like oatmeal or ramen. The one I stayed in had bathrooms that were open during the day (at night I just did my business in the woods, used a bag for number 2). It also had an old public building that was closed down but I could climb on top and sleep under the eaves out of sight and the weather. I kept my stuff in my car but I could have kept it there.

For electricity charge you're stuff at work, and get a backup battery, they're only like 30 bucks and it's super important. Libraries are a godsend for a million things, electricity and bathrooms chief among them. After 3 months you should be able to save enough for a shitty apartment and have the job history. Lie if you need to, they won't check more than your current job 9/10 times.

If I were homeless I'd just buy a house, duh

If you live in a blue state, then you get in touch with the housing first types who will get you into a small home and off the street. Then you rebuild your life.

If you live in a red state, you hitchhike to a blue state and do the first step.

Almost at 69 up🫶otes

Probably join the military, get a degree for 4 years of my life and start fresh. Hope there's not a new war in the mean time and if there is, still probably beats being homeless.

Find some houses in the suburbs and start mowing lawns.

I either kill myself or charm my way to a warm bed and some semblance of stability while I climb up the job skills ladder.

I view the latter option as morally reprehensible, but I guess if I’m honest from the get go, I could justify it.

i dunno, the premise of this question seems to me like homelessness is a riddle that homeless people just have not figured out. im pretty sure that if the answer could be crowdsourced in eight hours from eighty sysadmins on the toilet, it wouldn't be such an intractable problem