chat

I don't agree it has been "cheapened", its meaning depends on the relationship itself. I am currently in a new relationship, we've been together for 3 months. I am the kind to be more affectionate, and am often saying that I like her. I sometimes get that back, but I wish it was more often, as I like confirmation and affection too (and I told her that much). But saying "I love you" would be... very significant for me, and we are really not there yet. And also, from what I understand about her previous history, she might very well never have been quite there, despite having been in a very long relationship, so uh, yeah. Knowing that, if I heard her say "I love you" to me, it'd be extremely meaningful.

As important as the relationship

My partner and I say I love you to eachother a lot. We do the usual like whenever we part but we also say it as little affirmations here and there like if one of us says something really funny we laugh and say I love you. We also often use it in combination with thanks. We have split up the chores around the house but we make sure to thank eachother when we do them and often add in an I love you like "Thanks for the great meal, it was really delicious, I love you."

My overarching view of this is that I feel like in our times and culture those words have become very cheap.

My parents never says I love you to me or my siblings and my mother says that the word has become cheap because people use it too much. I don't understand the concept of a word having a commodity value like that but maybe it explains my first paragraph.

Don't let society cheapen what is important to you.

Find a way to let your partner know that you love them that they can understand.

Should be good after that.

I was 1.5-2 years into my relationship with my now wife before I said it for those reasons

My wife is Chinese, and in Chinese culture saying I love you isn’t really a thing for the most part. I tell her I love her often, and when I do she will say it back, but otherwise she mostly just shows me through acts of service. It was hard to get used to at first, being from the U.S. where saying it is pretty much required, but I’ve grown to appreciate her ways of showing love. It feels almost more meaningful the ways she shows it rather than just saying it.

Can love not be expressed by your actions, your nature, and your respect towards another person? I know when someone loves me, they don't have to tell me also.

Yes, and you can sometimes weave those actions with the words, I love you.

You think culture has cheapened the words, but you are in a private intimate relationship, not a cultural object.

I think it totally depends on the relationship and the context. I also think life is shorter and less predictable than one might give it credit for. I seldom hear of people on their death beds going "I said I love you too much, f7u12!!" I also don't think the words will ever be very heavy in comparison to the feelings and actions of the relationship. It doesn't necessarily change the stakes of a relationship - if you lose them before or after you say the magic words it will sting similarly badly. I don't value words very highly in their totality.

Look into love languages. Some people want to hear a verbal expression of love, others want physical contact, others gifts etc

Well if you love someone and they say it to you first, then you should probably say it back. Unless you're Han Solo and you are cool enough to get away with saying "I know."

how words-are-bond pilled you and your partner are determines this. you might have to negotiate a detente if you are not in alignment.

It feels like a big thing to say to someone to me. I worry about saying that kind of thing too early..

It's no more or less important than you and your partner agree it is. Everyone has different ways they prefer to express love and different things that make them feel loved. Communication with your partner, not the opinions of strangers, is the only way to determine what's important in your relationship.

To be honest with you, I feel like this would be a silly question for me to ask myself because those 3 words come out very naturally for me, when it just feels right. It doesn't have to be forced or manufactured; I don't have to reach a certain amount of "I love you"s within a certain time frame—it comes out when the need to express it is just... there.

And obviously, do express it by your actions, your nature, and your respect, but I don't see why these would be, in any way, mutually exclusive with letting out those 3 words whenever you feel it's right.

To give an analogous situation, I don't mind white people saying anti-racist slogans, and, in some cases, I might even encourage it, but they also should express their anti-racism by their actions, their nature, and their respect.

The point is that, while, "I love you," can be fake, performative, and meaningless, so can a lot of things. But when you know that the sentiment being expressed is genuine, then that's when it matters.

No forcing. No bullshit.

Just feelings.

which facts don't care about, liberal

some people need to hear it. I'm not one of those people, so I can't speak to it. talk has always been cheap to me.

It is true that some people lie. And love is expressed by your actions and behavior too.

But that does not mean saying 'I love you' is always useless.

People like hearing reassurance. Saying 'I love you' when you mean it makes your partner happier too. Express your love in all possible ways.

it's important to say it when getting off the phone with your boss @[email protected]

love you comrade