That made me chuckle, thanks for posting it. Kinda reminds me of a joke-phrase in American English that goes "If a frog had wings it wouldn't bump its ass when it hopped."

Not trying to contradict the study, but integrated force and impulse are different. You can apply the same force over a longer period of time and lower the impulse. This is why a boxer wearing a glove can actually deliver more total energy without breaking their own hand - the energy transfer is more complete because the greater surface area and longer impulse and more elastic collision. This means that you are more likely to experience a concussion, whereas with a bare fist, broken bones and torn ligaments are more likely to absorb a significant amount of that total energy.

Woodpeckers would probably think it feels weird for us to have a tongue that just goes down your throat

And we're all jealous of woody the woodpecker on this glorious summer day.