this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2025
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[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Our first use of the speak with dead spell revealed that the bandit had a cousin in Neverwinter. I made it my personal quest to find her and give her news of her cousin's passing.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

"thank fuck that asshole is dead"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Nice. Let's balance this out a bit at the other end:

98 - A scroll containing a detailed plan to burn down the nearest orphanage.

99 - Pockets full of napkins inscribed with insane anti-gnome racist gibberish.

100 - A magic communication stone that, if activated, creates a magic audio connection with the lead villain of the current story arc.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago

42 - a letter describing the party’s previous actions from 20 minutes ago as a horrific crime against the innocent and vulnerable.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

5 - a cheerfully written letter addressed to the slain party's significant other, describing in glowing terms how the slain party feels like they have a new lease on life ever since kicking some unnamed and dreadful disease, and how they can't wait for this last job to end so they can come back home and start being the husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/whateverfriend that they always wanted to be.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago

6 - a note with a sandwich that reads "I can't wait to spend more time with you and the grandkids, enjoy your last day!" Along with retirement papers.